Modern Creator
Why Modern Creator?
Ed Mylett · YouTube

Stop Living Life On Autopilot and Build the Life of Your Dreams

Dan Martell on transforming from juvenile detention and a jammed gun at 16 to 9 figures, plus the Buyback Principle and three skills every entrepreneur needs.

Posted
1 years ago
Duration
Format
Interview
sincere
Views
1.2M
4.8K likes
Big Idea

The argument in one line.

Designing your life on purpose is a learnable skill, not a personality trait, and the gap between living by default and living by design almost always closes through inner work that predates any external result.

Who This Is For

Read if. Skip if.

READ IF YOU ARE…
  • You have built a business or career that once felt like the dream but now feels like a trap.
  • You tell yourself you will start working on yourself once things settle down.
  • You carry anger, self-sabotage, or unexamined self-worth patterns that undercut your outcomes.
  • You are an entrepreneur who has not figured out how to delegate or reclaim your calendar.
  • You respond to faith-forward conversations about success and want something sincere.
SKIP IF…
  • You want step-by-step tactical frameworks without the emotional and spiritual context.
  • Spirituality woven into success conversations is a turn-off.
TL;DR

The full version, fast.

Dan Martell went from juvenile detention and a jammed gun pointed at police at 16 to a 9-figure net worth through one consistent behavior: working on himself before demanding external results. The conversation covers his Buyback Principle (hire people to reclaim your time, not just to grow the business), the difference between living by default versus by design (your calendar and bank account reveal which one you are actually doing), and three foundational skills: selling with certainty, managing people without emotional shrapnel, and understanding money before you have it. The coaching argument closes the loop: the transformation happens at the transaction, not at the first free YouTube video.

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Voices

Who's talking.

01:51hostEd Mylett
01:51guestDan Martell
Chapters

Where the time goes.

00:00 – 01:51

01 · Cold open and sponsor

Teaser clip of the police-chase story played first, then GrowthDay ad.

01:51 – 06:11

02 · Backstory: ADHD, foster care, and the jammed gun

ADHD at 11, removed from home at 12, group homes, juvenile detention twice, stolen car, high-speed chase, near-suicide-by-cop at 16.

06:11 – 09:06

03 · Prison guard Brian: the first I believe in you

After a fight lands Dan in solitary at 16, guard Brian takes him to the staff room and tells him he does not belong here and he believes in him. Nobody had ever said that.

09:06 – 13:44

04 · Identity reset

Ed reflects on the impossibility of that background given who Dan is today. Dan gets emotional about his boys. Sponsor break.

13:44 – 18:00

05 · The $63.50 brother story and the $173k mirror

Brother empties his pockets for $63.50 so Dan can flee town. Years later Dan writes him a $173,000 check to start a business, no strings attached.

18:00 – 22:07

06 · Inner work first and the daily grace question

Both hosts admit quiet self-sabotage rooted in childhood trauma. Dan introduces his daily question: how can I appreciate, even more, God's grace and guidance in this moment.

22:07 – 26:11

07 · The Buyback Principle

Hire people to buy back your time, not to grow the business. Calendar first. Bottlenecks are at the top.

26:11 – 30:14

08 · Is extreme success worth it?

Ed pushes Dan honestly. Dan answers: the biggest flex is a life you are proud of. Empire equals unlimited creation you never have to retire from.

30:14 – 36:14

09 · Default vs. Design and the calendar diagnostic

Shingles from unacknowledged stress proves Dan was living by default. The fix: decide upfront. Calendar and bank account are the truth-tellers.

36:14 – 40:14

10 · Survival mode myth and sponsor breaks

Element and Shopify sponsor spots. Dan and Ed dismantle the idea that self-investment can wait until things improve.

40:14 – 44:02

11 · Consistency and the filter shift

People fatigue before breakthrough because they need external validation that has not arrived yet. Working on yourself changes what you can perceive.

44:02 – 50:07

12 · Three skills: sales and emotional regulation

Skill 1: sales as certainty. Dan drove weekends listening to sales CDs. Skill 2: people management without emotional shrapnel; top talent follows leaders who lead themselves.

50:07 – 54:28

13 · Money literacy and the lottery barber

Ed adds a third skill: understanding money before you have it. The barber Phil won a million dollars in the lottery and burned through it because he did not believe he deserved it.

54:28 – 58:11

14 · Mentors and coaches: free vs. paid

Social media as a free mentorship machine most people waste. Until you pay you will not pay attention. First coach Bob at $1,500 a month turned year one into almost $1M revenue.

58:11 – 1:03:01

15 · The last August thought experiment and close

Ed's friend says you have one to thirty good summers left. Dan's answer is already in his calendar: every two years fly all family members to one house. Regret minimization as scheduling practice.

Atomic Insights

Lines worth screenshotting.

  • You do not create success, you attract it by becoming the kind of person success can find.
  • Your calendar and bank account are the only honest answer to whether something is actually important to you.
  • Bottlenecks are called bottlenecks because they are at the top.
  • The person with the most certainty in a room usually walks away with the opportunity.
  • Most self-sabotage is an emotional regulation problem dressed up as a circumstances problem.
  • The transformation happens at the transaction: until you pay for mentorship, most people do not pay attention.
  • Living by default is not laziness, it is being highly responsive to everyone else while starving your own design.
  • Top talent does not live in a pool you fish from; it shows up when you become a leader worth following.
  • The first five to seven years in business are not about getting rich, they are about getting good.
  • A million dollars disappears fast when you do not believe you deserve it.
  • Social media is a free mentorship machine most people are using as an entertainment machine.
  • Consistency long enough separates people who get close from people who break through.
  • Regret minimization is a calendar practice, not just a philosophy.
  • Asking how you can appreciate even more the grace you have been given is a daily circuit-breaker for impostor syndrome.
  • The opportunities you missed were probably already there; inner work changes your filter, not their frequency.
Takeaway

The inner work always comes before the outer win.

WHAT TO LEARN

Every tactical framework in this conversation only works after you have done the self-worth and identity work that most people keep postponing.

02Backstory: ADHD, foster care, and the jammed gun
  • One moment of intervention does not create a new life, but it can create enough pause for a new decision to enter.
  • Trauma compounds when there is no adult who says you are worth something; the absence of that message is itself a shaping force.
03Prison guard Brian
  • A single person saying I believe in you to someone who has never heard it can plant a seed that outlasts decades of contrary evidence.
  • Most people who need to hear they do not belong where they are will never hear it; saying it is one of the highest-leverage acts available.
05The $63.50 brother story
  • Acts of loyalty create debt that wants to be repaid at scale when the resources arrive; the $63.50 became $173k not as a transaction but as a values statement.
  • Investing in a sibling's new direction is easier when you have done the personal development work together; shared growth creates shared accountability.
06Inner work first and the daily grace question
  • Even high-performing people carry quiet self-sabotage rooted in childhood; acknowledging it is the diagnostic step that allows the pattern to change.
  • A daily question that reframes your circumstances as grace rather than threat is a practical tool, not just a spiritual concept, and it interrupts impostor syndrome before it closes doors.
07The Buyback Principle
  • The default mode of growth is to add headcount for capability; the counterintuitive mode is to audit your calendar first and hire specifically to reclaim the hours that drain you.
  • Founders who insist on touching everything are not protecting quality; their self-worth is tied to being needed, not to the outcome.
09Default vs. Design and the calendar diagnostic
  • Living reactively produces external results but internal chaos; shingles and anxiety are the body's ledger for the cost of default mode.
  • Designing your life requires deciding upfront, before the calendar fills with other people's priorities.
  • People who say their family is important but have no protected time are not lying; they are living by default while believing they are living by design.
11Consistency and the filter shift
  • The people who quit just before breakthrough are waiting for external validation that has not arrived yet; knowing this in advance makes the waiting bearable.
  • Doing the inner work does not just make you feel better; it changes what you can perceive, and the opportunities that were always present become visible.
12Three skills: sales and emotional regulation
  • Selling is not about pitch mechanics, it is about certainty: the person most certain about the value of what they are offering usually wins.
  • The introverted or conflict-averse person who refuses to learn to sell is not protecting authenticity; they are capping their own ceiling.
  • Burning through people with reactive management is a learnable skill set every serious leader eventually has to develop.
13Money literacy and the lottery barber
  • Winning money you do not believe you deserve is a fast path to losing it; the self-worth work and the wealth-management work have to happen in parallel.
  • Locking 50% of any liquidity event into low-risk instruments before doing anything else is a practical circuit-breaker against spending before you have developed the capacity to keep.
14Mentors and coaches: free vs. paid
  • Treating your social media feed as a curated curriculum instead of entertainment is a zero-cost upgrade.
  • Paying for a coach signals to yourself that you are worth the investment, which changes behavior in ways free consumption does not.
15The last August thought experiment
  • Counting your remaining summers is a precision tool for determining what deserves a calendar slot versus what you keep saying you will get to later.
  • Regret minimization practiced in advance looks like scheduled family trips; practiced in retrospect it looks like wishing.
  • Writing a book, building a social platform, and showing up consistently are all expressions of one decision: to be the kind of person who leaves a record rather than a silence.
Glossary

Terms worth knowing.

Buyback Principle
Core thesis from Dan Martell's book: hire people not to grow your business but to buy back your time, so that as the business scales your personal freedom expands rather than shrinks.
Living by Default
Operating reactively, saying yes to whatever opportunities and people arrive without an intentional design for how you want to spend your time. Produces results but often at a painful personal cost.
Living by Design
Deciding upfront what you want to create, with whom, and how, then using your calendar to enforce those decisions before the reactive world fills your days.
Emotional shrapnel
Dan Martell's term for the residual anger and reactivity that high-performing founders project onto their teams, damaging relationships and burning through talent over time.
The filter shift
The perceptual change that happens after sustained inner work: opportunities that were always present become visible because your self-awareness has expanded enough to notice them.
Resources

Things they pointed at.

01:06productGrowthDay ↗
20:45bookBuy Back Your Time by Dan Martell
20:44channelJim Rohn
46:00bookBrian Tracy sales books
46:02bookTom Hopkins
46:02bookZig Ziglar
47:19channelJohn Maxwell
34:54productElement electrolytes ↗
35:54productShopify ↗
Quotables

Lines you could clip.

10:13
“If that gun isn't stuck between the seat, you're probably not here breathing anymore.”
Visceral stakes, zero setup needed→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
20:46
“How can I appreciate, even more, God's grace and guidance in this moment?”
A repeatable daily question that sounds simple and lands hard→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
26:15
“Bottlenecks are called bottlenecks because they are at the top.”
Tight one-liner, no context needed→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
46:26
“The person who has the most certainty is usually the person who's gonna walk away with the opportunity.”
Contrarian reframe of sales as certainty not pitch→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
56:24
“The transformation happened at the transaction.”
Justifies paid coaching in one line→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
32:10
“Show me your calendar and your bank account. That's where you've designed your life.”
Definitive, diagnostic, actionable in one breath→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
Topic Map

Where the conversation goes.

00:00 – 09:06denseOrigin story and rock bottom
09:06 – 22:07denseIdentity and self-worth work
22:07 – 30:14denseBusiness frameworks (Buyback Principle)
30:14 – 40:14denseDefault vs. Design life architecture
40:14 – 44:02steadyConsistency, self-sabotage, filter shift
44:02 – 54:28denseThree foundational entrepreneur skills
54:28 – 1:03:01denseMentorship, coaches, regret minimization
The Script

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00:00If there are people today that are being exposed to you for the first time, they're like, woah. Now I know why I introduced this guy this way. You're the first person in person in this place that I've had, and I wanted it to be you for that reason.
00:11So my brother calls me up, and he goes, you can't come home. The police are waiting. I stole a car.
00:15I had a handgun and a backpack. The cops were looking for me, and I ran into a routine roadblock. And in that moment, I decided to go for the gun and point at the police and let them take my life.
00:26And for whatever reason, as I was pulling on the gun and pulling on the gun, got stuck. Basically, if that gun isn't stuck between the seat, you're probably not here breathing anymore. I didn't have much faith then, and I just said, god, if you're real, I could use some help right now.
00:41I could use some help. What a great conversation. It's one for the ages here.
00:50So, hey, guys. Listen. We're all trying to get more productive.
00:53And the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're gonna grow faster.
01:04And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Bouchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down.
01:11Growthday.com/ed. So if you wanna be more productive by the way, he's asked me. I post videos in there every single Monday to get your day off to the right start.
01:19He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do.
01:36So go over there and get signed up. You're gonna get a free tuition free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well, so you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed.
01:47That's growthday.com/ed. Alright. Welcome back to the show, everybody.
01:52I'm so excited today because this is the first interview I've actually done in this location physically that you see on Zoom all of the time. But the real reason I'm excited is the man that I get a chance to have with.
02:03He's somebody that I believe in a great deal. I'm very proud of. I've been honored to have a chance to coach him behind the scenes the last few years, and I don't take that likely the responsibility of coaching somebody.
02:15And the reason this interview is gonna be incredible today is because this man's content and his knowledge level about so many different topics is so vast and impressive that you're gonna enjoy this entire ride today.
02:26He's got a book that I read cover to cover in two days called buy back your time. It crushed when it came out originally. Thousands and thousands of copies sold.
02:36And he is a serial entrepreneur, unbelievably very wealthy and successful man, but he's diverse in his content and his message.
02:43Proud that he's here today. Dan Martell, welcome, brother. Thank you, Ed.
02:46It's an honor. This is a beautiful place. You've built literally
02:49heaven on earth. This is so cool. Thank you, man.
02:52Appreciate this. So you built your own version of heaven on earth. I I we're gonna go a lot of directions today because we can go business, we can go life, relationships, but even physical because you look great.
03:03Thanks. But I think it I don't usually do this on the show because I don't think there's that much interest level in people's stories typically, but yours is so extraordinary Mhmm.
03:13That I think to go to a 9 figure net worth like you've done, you know, unbelievable success you've had at a young age too. I think we gotta go back and then see the other Dan Martell when you were young.
03:25I mean, like, let's even go all the way back to, like, the 16 year old one. Yeah. So tell us about him.
03:30I mean,
03:32I I grew up in a really challenging home. There's no other way to say it.
03:36My mom was an alcoholic, and I struggled. I had a lot of energy.
03:41I had a severe anger issue. I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 11. So at a young age, I all I heard was there's something wrong with Dan.
03:51And that caused a lot of challenges for me in school, with my brothers and sisters, with my parents.
03:59And at 12 years old, I got taken out of my house due to my anger issue and put into crisis centers.
04:07I pretty much was raised in the system, foster care, group homes, and one bad decision led to another bad decision to a point where I ended up a drug addict as a teenager.
04:19And by the time I was 16, I had ended up in juvenile detention twice.
04:26It's kinda crazy because it got so bad that there was a point where I didn't even feel like I deserved to breathe. The air was breathing.
04:35And I had decided to run away.
04:39I stole a car. I had a handgun in a backpack, and I took a exit off the highway on my way trying to get away from the city I was living in.
04:49And, uh, the cops were looking for me, and I ran into a routine roadblock, and I took off.
04:57And maybe I watched too many car movies because I thought maybe I could get away and ended up in this neighborhood. And But you're in a full blown car chase for car chase. Yeah.
05:06The row I stopped at the roadblock, lied to them, said it was my mom's car. Didn't have my driver's license.
05:11And I I take off. And I ended up in this neighborhood, I saw an open garage door.
05:16And I thought if you know, I thought I mean, again, I'm high and drunk. I don't even know what's going on. But I think to myself, I can, you know, get into that garage.
05:24Maybe I could close it. Again, too many car movies. And I came in the driveway going way too fast, and I just smashed in the side of the house.
05:31Oh my gosh. And in that moment, I decided to go for the gun. Go for the gun.
05:38And pointed at the police and let them take my life. Mhmm. And for whatever reason, as I was pulling on the gun and pulling on the gun, it got stuck.
05:49And next thing I knew, the cops ran up and grabbed me. I mean, I my feet didn't even touch the ground. They flew across the front yard, and they frisked me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
06:00And it was the next morning in this small town jail cell I woke up. I didn't have much faith then, and I just said, god, if you're real, could use some help right now. Wow.
06:10I could use some help. Wow. So I got I got sentenced to, uh, two years.
06:16Due to the severity, I had some other things on my record, and I ended up getting sentenced to five months in an adult prison.
06:27Well, I got sentenced for two years, but I was I was in this adult prison that had a juvenile section Mhmm. In a place called Saint John Regional Correctional Center.
06:35And anybody that's ever been to prison is probably the worst thing you can do to somebody. And what changed for me was I got in a fight.
06:47There was this breakfast situation where this kid, Kirk, you know, starts Remember to eat? Yeah. Just just started mouthing off.
06:55And the thing in prison, there's certain words you just don't say, and he said one of those words. And, you know, it's it's just and, you know, we got thrown in in the hole of solitary confinement. Wow.
07:05Yeah. And this is adult. We're talking in your underwear, concrete bed, stainless steel toilet in the sink.
07:12And you're 17 or 18? I'm 16. 16.
07:16And they don't tell you how long you're in there for. It's kind of their way of punishing you. So I was there for about three days.
07:21And on the third day, the door opens, and there's this officer named Brian standing there. And he wasn't there when the fight happened.
07:29And he was he I didn't have an older brother. I didn't have somebody to look up to.
07:35The people I was hanging out with twice my age teaching me stuff I shouldn't have taught. So Brian was a guard, an officer that if you respected him, he'd respect you.
07:45Look the other way if you want an extra dessert or whatever, and he's super disappointed. He opens the door, and he says, follow me.
07:52And I kinda, you know, follow him out. He gives me my clothes.
07:56And as we're walking back, anybody that's ever been to any prison like, you follow the line. You don't go anywhere. There's your hands behind your back.
08:04And we go past the door to the cell block, which is where, you know, I stayed to the next door, which is the guard unit. Unit, and no inmate is allowed in the I mean Mhmm.
08:14Never seen it. It's the other side of the one way mirror that was in our cell block. And he asked me to follow him, and I thought it was a test.
08:22Mhmm. And I follow him in there, and he sits me down. He pulls up a chair, he looks me in the eyes.
08:29And he goes, what are you doing in this place? And I said, what do you mean?
08:35I said, I got in a fight with Kirk, and they threw us in the hole. He says, not that. He goes, what are you doing in this place?
08:41And I said, well, I got in a high speed chase and, you know, drugs. And he goes, it makes no sense to me, Dan.
08:50You don't belong here. And if nobody's ever told you this, I believe in you.
08:57Wow. And you need to get out of here. I remember him saying you need to get out of this place.
09:02Was an angel.
09:07It it planted a seed in me yet. I can't even explain it. It was it wasn't even Had anyone ever said that to you prior?
09:12I'd never heard Yeah. Nobody. Yeah.
09:17I was I was Dan that always got in trouble. I was Dan that couldn't play with my neighbor and my friends. I was Dan that had a special class in school.
09:23I was Dan that just always got caught, always angry Dan.
09:28And all this potential was buried in you. What's amazing about you let just unpack this just real quick. Spoiler alert.
09:34He's worth 9 figures, has millions of people follow his social media, incredible marriage and family, and a book that sold hundreds of thousands of copies, etcetera, etcetera.
09:44So the reason I wanted him to start with this because by the way, some of that I knew, but not all of it. I didn't know about Brian. And the reason I start with that is when you meet you like, remember when we first met, and by the way, before I met you, people had told me about you.
09:57Absolutely zero chance that that was your background meeting you. Clean-cut dude, very successful, unbelievably polite, kind, kinda quiet, and gentle like he is. He's also there's a beast in there too though.
10:09Yeah. But the idea that that's who you once were and this is what you've become is like a mind blowing thing for me.
10:16That you are basically, if that gun isn't stuck between the seat, you're probably not here breathing anymore in that cop chase. Right?
10:23That thing's stuck. I mean, I'm picturing this young boy trying to pull this thing out, and his life is about to end, and he's decided it. Flash forward.
10:31You're sitting here in my saloon, and we've become great friends, and you're becoming this huge influence in the world. He speaks on John Maxwell stages, Tony Robbins stages.
10:39I mean, he's become this huge even as I say that back to you, is there a little part of you that's just It doesn't even.
10:46Ed, I can't even tell you.
10:50If I'm not proof that there's somebody bigger helping like, I just I get emotional because I think my two boys. Yeah.
11:00Why, though? What about that makes you emotional?
11:03Just how much I love them and none of this would be here. Mhmm. I I wouldn't if I didn't get through that dark, dark period that really just started me on a path, like this is a crazy part.
11:14It started me on a path of self like, personal development. I would have never did the work to become the person who my wife would even been with.
11:25My wife is an angel. Yeah. She if I met her a year before I met her, she would not have put up with me.
11:32So, like, I go back, and then I look at my brothers. My brother Pierre,
11:38we all went through issues as kids. Mhmm. He's one of the most successful real estate guys in Canada right now.
11:43So, hey, guys. I wanna jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And, you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow and also taking a look at the future.
11:52If you wanna change your future, you gotta change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably gonna produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself.
12:05And that's why I love growth day. Write this down for a second. Growthday.com/ed.
12:10My friend, Brendon Bouchard, has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software to personal accountability, journaling, horses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well.
12:24I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute as do a whole bunch of other influence, like the avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that wanna be high achievers. So go check it out.
12:36My friend Brennan's made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed.
12:44Be a leader. It's more than just taking the helm. It's about setting the standard, taking risks, and plunging into life with determination.
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13:46So there's this story. Because by the way, in all of our lives, if we're looking for them, God does send people to send us a message.
13:53He does. I really believe that at different times. Now whether or not you're open to it at the time, receptive to it at the time, whether it's even the right time, but there are moments in our lives where it can change.
14:06By the way, your life could change right now listening to this or watching. You just make a decision right now that you're gonna change your life and that the lessons we're gonna cover in a few minutes, because we're gonna go into lessons and tactics and strategy soon. You could make that decision right now.
14:18You could already be doing great and go, you know what? There's another level of happiness, bliss, influence, wealth, abundance, success, faith, and you can make that decision as we're talking today too.
14:29That's why I wanted you here. It's not by you're the first person in person in this place that I've had, and I wanted it to be you for that reason. But one of these other people, and then this shows a lot about you, this story as well, is your brother.
14:42And what does $63.50 mean to you when I say to you?
14:47You're gonna get me going. Yeah. I wanna get you going.
14:49My
14:51brother is one of the best entrepreneurs, and I know a lot of great entrepreneurs. One of the best entrepreneurs.
14:58But when I was a kid, what happened was is that I had did this break and enter, and that's where I got the gun. I stole it from a house. Wow.
15:07Wow. I know. I'm I I had so much shame around this stuff, Ed.
15:11It's, um, it took me fifteen years to even share this story. Didn't want people to know, but I also realized that that is probably one of the most powerful things I have. So my brother calls me up one the the night, and he goes, you can't come home.
15:23The police are waiting. My mom had found the guns, called the police. And he tells me where to meet him at this old auditorium concrete building, this parking lot kind of out of the way.
15:34And we met up there. I was on my pedal bike. He pulls up, and he had this old 50 cc, you know, road bike he got when he was 15 or whatever.
15:43And he pulls out all the money he had, emptied his pockets, $63.50.
15:51And he says it's not much, but you gotta get out of town.
15:57And it just he never knew for years how much it meant to me. Like, for years, I thought I never I never he never said, I love you.
16:06We didn't grow up that way, but it just the the act just had such an impression. And then you fast forward. This is I think I'm two years into my first successful company, close to being a millionaire.
16:19And I was putting everything back into the business, back into the business. I'd save a little bit of money. And I'm twenty twenty seven, 28, 28 years old.
16:29Took me a while to find success in business. And my brother calls me up and decides to quit his job. He worked at this place for six years.
16:36He was a mechanic. He wanted to buy the shop. The guy lied to him.
16:40You know, eventually said, I'm not selling you the shop. And he says, well, I quit. And he and he calls me, and he never calls me.
16:46And I go to his house. And I said, what do you wanna do? He goes, I think I wanna be a home builder, which is he was a mechanic, and I'm like, dude, why do you wanna be he goes, I actually hate working on cars.
16:57And I'm like, probably a good thing to figure out this young. And he goes, but I have no money.
17:05I said, I got you. And I wrote him a check for everything I had in my savings account, a $173,000. And I said, bro, I don't care if you ever pay me this back.
17:18Just always make the right decision, and I'll never be upset. My dad found out. He said that's the dumbest thing you've ever done.
17:25I can't believe you did this. This is how brothers end up never talking ever again. It became one of the most beautiful decisions ever.
17:32That is incredible. Yeah. That is The reason why though, this is what most people don't know, is because I was invested in him and him and I.
17:40Mhmm. We ended up doing personal development together. You did.
17:43We were reading books. We were going to seminars. We traveled around.
17:48It was looking back and just talking to so many people that didn't have that kind of relationship with their brother, it's it's one of the things I'll always cherish.
17:57You know, this reminds me a little bit of where I wanna go now. I want everyone to have the stage set.
18:03That is an insane story that he gives you $63.50 out of his pocket, gives you everything.
18:07You come back years later, give him everything out of years, but it's a buck 73,000. Right? But I it's rare that you get a chance to have two functioning high functioning entrepreneurs and personal Bolton people in a room together.
18:21It is. And I had a chance earlier this year, Andy Furcella and I sat in his bar for my show and One of the best. Yeah.
18:27It was one the best podcasts ever. Yeah. And we just kinda chopped it up a little bit about tactics and strategies, thoughts, concepts, whatever.
18:35And you and I have obviously talked a lot about this behind the scenes because I was honored you chose me to help coach you. Yeah. And and I've watched you take things to a level that are even beyond even what I saw for you this quickly.
18:45And so let's start about that. I'm looking at I look back like on my life because I I you know, you know about my story and I'm there's a part of me, like, it's hard to explain what happened with me.
18:57Like, that's the weird thing about our space. Like, let me give you all the steps, but there's a there's a big part of it that you can't explain. And all I can feel in that moment is God's grace.
19:06That literally, I have this dream that I have when I pray where God literally picks me up and carries me Mhmm. And then just puts me back down in a particular place. So I just got gooses telling you that.
19:16So I know that's important part of your life. The other part of it though that I can conclude is that I worked much harder on myself for many years than I actually did at my business skills for a while.
19:28And I want you to talk about that a little bit. Like, how important is it that someone truly, like you just said, you and your brother, invest the real time in working on themselves?
19:38Talk about that for a sec. I I think most people would be super unimpressed with me if they knew how much effort went into be becoming who I am. Like, I I worked at I don't I don't actually think I'm that skillful.
19:50I'm just willing to do the work on a daily basis. And even in business, it took me seven years to finally ever make a profit, and that was two failed companies. I think most people, when they start in business, the first five to seven years is just to get good.
20:04Yeah. Like, just to get good. Mhmm.
20:06And some people wanna be rich right away. I agree. Like, Don't you think social media contributes to that?
20:11It took I see it all the time. Like, these these kids that come out to me, they're like, I wanna be this literally 16 year old kid said, I wanna be worth a 100,000,000 by 30. Mhmm.
20:20I was like, I don't know how good luck. Yeah. Right.
20:22I I mean, like, I don't know you, but it's gonna require some deep work. Mhmm. Because you emotionally, skill wise, you just don't have it.
20:30It's gonna take that. Yep. So, you know, and and anytime I go speak to, like, the detention centers, to at risk youth, they're always asking me, like, what what is it that made you different?
20:40And it was just that, you know and I learned this from Jim Rohn. You know, we don't create success.
20:45We attract success. Mhmm. Like, you have to become a person who can bring into your world other and I think this is interesting.
20:56I think most people feel guilty when they attract it. So I have a friend. She she naturally has this essence where people wanna help her.
21:06Mhmm. And she pushes it away sometimes, self sabotage, because she doesn't feel worth it.
21:10I relate to that. I've never said that on a show before, and I didn't realize I had that until maybe the last three or four years. But I think I've never thought that about me.
21:22Like, I've worked hard on myself. My identity is this or that or the other thing, and I think there's different elements. I've never said this, so we should talk about this, on any show ever, including my own.
21:32I've worked really hard on my own identity to the point where I can attract success. Right? Like you've just said and feel that, you know People wanna help you.
21:40People wanna help me. However, I think there's been this little element from trauma when I was a little guy that I haven't fixed that is quietly working oddly behind the scenes to sabotage my success.
21:55And I didn't realize it until maybe even this year where then people go, well, that's impossible.
22:01You've had all this success. Well, maybe I coulda had more. Maybe I coulda enjoyed it more.
22:04Maybe I coulda created less chaos and stress along the way. But I think that dude is still
22:10sometimes there even for me. Do you have any of that, or is that dude gone forever? No.
22:15He's always there. I have to I go to God. I have to go to God.
22:18Me too. I have to. Yeah.
22:20I ask myself several times a day a question that keeps me on track.
22:26Because if it was left to Dan, trauma Dan issues Mhmm. Feeling like he's worth nothing Mhmm.
22:32I would self sabotage. And that question is, how can I appreciate even more God's grace and guidance in this moment?
22:39See, when when Say it again. Say it again.
22:41How can I appreciate? And you gotta add the even more. Comma, even more.
22:45God's grace and guidance in this moment. Because when opportunities like you texting intro me to John Maxwell Mhmm. My heart stops.
22:53I I I'm impostor syndrome's coming up left, right, and center. Yeah. And I gotta go I gotta go, how can I appreciate this moment even more?
23:01God's grace. God's God's guiding me. And it's it's interesting because I think he, on purpose, closes doors that we're not supposed to, like and we don't realize it, but that's the only way he can guide us into those positions where we can have other people support.
23:14So the idea of, okay, my agreement to myself is every day, I will control the controllables. I will work on myself. I will do all caps, the work.
23:22Mhmm. And then also when those opportunities come into my life, accept them.
23:28Mhmm. Like, I just had such a hard time. People would wanna help.
23:31Until my book came out. K? About a year and a half ago, I didn't ask anybody for anything.
23:37Ever before. I could feel that. I could tell you Never.
23:40I could tell even when we were when we were coaching, you know, regularly, monthly, your discomfort with even asking me for an introduction to somebody or anything like that.
23:49Yeah. Why did you write why of all the books, though, now did you write buy back your time?
23:56Like, that that's I mean, by the way, it's outstand it's not a book like, oh, good concept. Like, actual tactic after tactic, but why does that matter?
24:05Do you feel like you found a good rhythm in your life of time, productivity, all that other stuff?
24:12And what would be one thing you'd share from it? Yeah.
24:15The everybody that asked me about the tactics of the business side, as you know, I can go strategy Yeah.
24:21On execution. Mhmm. But none of that's possible without building a business I don't grow to hate.
24:27Mhmm. And that's and I did this to myself. Mhmm.
24:29The the my first success where I became a multimillionaire, I built a a business that I became a prisoner to. Yeah.
24:36And it was so painful that that weight that it caused me my relationship. It cost me my health. It cost me the my parents didn't even wanna talk to me.
24:46I was just a horrible I was just so in it, and I didn't know why it was working. I was scared it was gonna fall apart Yeah.
24:52That I just did what I could do. And what happened was is that I had to learn how to because I feel like, Ed, you're the same way, man.
25:02Like, when we do something Yep. We're in. I'm looking at this property, and I'm just like, okay.
25:06This is Mhmm. Ed's in. Mhmm.
25:09And well, how do I do it in a way where I don't wake up one day and just absolutely sabotage my whole life? I got two young boys.
25:15I've got a wife. I've got friends. I've got commitments I've made to people, and I had to figure out a different way to do it.
25:20So the big premise of the book, buyback principle, is we don't hire people to grow our business. We hire people to buy back our time.
25:27Mhmm. Because if we hire people to grow our business, it sucks our time.
25:31But if we use our calendar first to figure out where we're spending our time and hire people to get that time back Mhmm. Then the bigger we grow, the more time we have. Mhmm.
25:41Most people have a hard time letting go. I was one of those people. Mhmm.
25:45And every time that I messed up, I got overwhelmed. I I created chaos in my life. I had to go back to my calendar and just figure out.
25:52And for a lot of people, it's not it's it's very inexpensive. Yeah. You just gotta be willing to realize that you're not that important.
26:01Like, we all I mean, dude, we I used to think if I didn't touch it, it's gonna fail, and I gotta be involved in this. And can you invite me to that meeting? And and, uh, before you approve that, can you call me first and talk about bottlenecks are called bottlenecks because they're at the top.
26:15Is it worth it
26:17this level? Because you're at a real high level. And be honest, like, if it's not, tell me.
26:22Like, right now, you're you were just at Tony's event. You were with Maxwell before that. You're flying here to see me.
26:28Yeah. You know, you got a team. You got now the the, I I guess, I'd call it pressure of notoriety of being on social media.
26:36You gotta I know what this is like. You have to manage your own money. You know, there's things that come with the trappings of it.
26:43I just had a guy that I was interviewing. I think if I interviewed him or not or I'm prepping for interview, he goes, happiness zone, believe it or not, is people that lack financial resources typically are unhappy because they're struggling most of the time in their life and suffering. Then the mega wealthy are actually also equivalently not happy because of all of the trappings that come with massive abundance.
27:03His theory was the people that are the most happy have their financial means met plus a little bit more. My experience has not been that. My mega wealthy friends, and you're one of them, half are really, really miserable.
27:18The other half are not. They live in abundance. They give.
27:22They contribute to people. Is it worth it? Then be honest about it.
27:27Everything that comes with it, mentally, physically, emotionally that comes with having to be at your level?
27:34It's a beautiful question. Mhmm.
27:40I think one of the biggest flexes that you could have is a life you're proud of.
27:48And I'm so proud of my life because I did the work, because I realized that I don't wanna stop creating.
27:57Ed, I don't want I I think in the subtitle of my book is build your empire. I want entrepreneurs to build a business. So this is what empire, my my definition is, is a a life of unlimited creation you never have to retire from.
28:08And is it worth it? It's not easy, but I don't want easy.
28:15I didn't choose easy. I'm proud I I'm willing to do hard things. And having the resources I mean, I just got back speaking in Miami at these events, but in between events, we're going to detention centers.
28:27Mhmm. And when I'm talking to these kids and I'm and I know what I look like, and I know that they look different than me, but I tell them, like, at 15, I was in the place just like this. And a kid comes up to me afterwards.
28:38He shakes my hand, and he says, you're the first millionaire I've ever met. Wow. Oh, all the time.
28:43All the time. These kids have never and they're like, now they're not listening to me if I haven't done anything with my life.
28:52Right. See, that's that's the challenge why I nobody actually will listen or care until you win.
28:59It's true. So how about we win? Mhmm.
29:01I think it's worth it. I think when I look back at the opportunity I had, as you talk about often, to be the one. Yeah.
29:08That's why I get emotional about my story, my life. My dad literally, my dad watched my talk yesterday at Tony Robbins online virtually, and he texts me, he goes, you gotta be a genius. I don't know how you remember all that stuff.
29:18I love that. He just doesn't get it. By the way, man, enjoy that.
29:21I've missed that my dad would say those things to me. What you've done though I want you to talk about this concept. So
29:28I think most people even listening right now, in my audience as you know, are they're they're people who care about their lives a little bit more than most. Yeah. They're more self aware.
29:37They want more abundance. They I I I just think they live more alive or want to.
29:43Right? And but even in my audience, because many of them are my friends, they are in a life that they would prefer not to be in in some way.
29:54It's either a relationship they would prefer not to be in, a body they would prefer not to be in, a job, and many of them have done what you said originally too.
30:04They've actually built a business that was their original dream, but if they were being honest right now, maybe it isn't anymore. Yeah.
30:12And you have this great concept about the difference between living by default and Design.
30:20Another thing. Yeah. And at any time, you could lose the other thing.
30:25And and that other thing is design, which he's gonna talk about. But I want everyone to listen to this.
30:30At one time, you could have been living by design, and now you're living by default in that original design. I know it's a deep way to go, but talk about the difference between those two things and how you switch to living by design. It's such a it's such a nuanced thing that most people don't even realize it's an option or that that's their life.
30:49And I would say for the most big part of my life, I was living by just being responsive.
30:55Opportunities and people. And and now that might have afforded me a different lifestyle then, it came with the pressure.
31:02It came with the the feeling out of control, the anxiety. I mean, I there was one time I went to see my doctor because I had a pain on my back. Mhmm.
31:09And he he, like, looked at it, and he he goes, are you stressed? I said, no. Why is that?
31:14He goes, um, well, tell me what's going on in your life. And I was like, oh, well, we just raised, uh, $2,000,000 for my new startup.
31:21Oh, my wife, Renee, she's she's pregnant, and we decided to move back to Canada to raise our kids. He goes, I'll be back. And he went and he got some this bottle with some medication in it.
31:32He shows me a picture, and he says, you have shingles. Woah.
31:36Yeah. He goes, you might not feel stressed, but your body's stressed. Mhmm.
31:40And I was living life by default. Mhmm. What I do now is I decide upfront.
31:46And I'm and I and and it just had to be part of it. I decide what I wanna create, where I wanna go, who I wanna create it with, how I wanna do it. And I use my calendar to drive that.
31:56So I don't wake up and go, oh, I wish I would have spent more time with my kids. It's in the calendar. Mhmm.
32:01You know, a long time ago, I learned if something's important to me, if I say it's important people say it all the time. Oh, yeah. My kids are important.
32:08Okay. I want to look at two things, Your calendar and your bank account. That's right.
32:12Show me where you've designed your life through your investment of your time and your money that your children are important to you. Where are the vacations?
32:21Where's the the nights? Where's the like, even and, again, I just took all the stuff that I did in the business life because I had some success there, struggled in the relationship and just said, like, well, what am I doing right here that I should be applying to my home life?
32:34And it was just this simple idea of going, okay. I'm more intentional. It's just intentional.
32:40It's it's not saying you know? Because, like, you can't be successful in business if you're not intentional.
32:46So why aren't you bringing that energy to your life? Very good. And why can't and and for me, it's the dreaming.
32:52So and and then this is the other thing. Some people, they have a hard time dreaming because if they're successful, then what if they lose it all? Yep.
32:59Well, how about you don't take the shot and you didn't get it anyway? I mean, you literally miss all the shots you don't even take. And I remember my wife, because I was like, I was nervous.
33:08There was a point in my life where I was like, I had an opportunity to go big. But if I go big and I fail, like, there was there was pressure there. You could go small again.
33:16Yeah. And I didn't want to do it to my family. Mhmm.
33:18And I just had to sit down with her, and I said, hey. If I go for this and it doesn't work out Mhmm. Are we still good?
33:26Mhmm. And she goes, as long as you don't do anything what is she? She goes, as long as you don't break the law or something.
33:33Was like, baes, I'll be good. Mhmm. I go, worst I mean, like, let's just walk through.
33:37I think most people don't even plan if the worst case scenario, and if they did, it's probably okay. I like looking at the worst case scenario.
33:45Let's just look at it. You can just get honest with boogeyman. No.
33:48It's usually not as bad as you think. It's not. Yep.
33:50And that boogeyman
33:52shining some light and sanitizing that situation allows you to go way further. I so agree with that. It's like it's not the the, like, niche thing you're supposed to talk about in personal development.
34:02Don't look at it because you'll attract it. Nah. Let's just look at it.
34:05Let's expose this boogeyman for what he or she is. It's probably not as bad as you think. And once you can deal with that, now you're so strong to go past it.
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36:14I think a lot of people, though, they're a little they're at a different spot. They go, look.
36:19I'm just trying to get above water, bro. Like, now, groceries are more. You know, date childcare is more.
36:26I've got you know, my house isn't worth what it was five years ago or three years ago. So I like your dreaming thing, but here's the deal, man. I will do that.
36:35I'm just trying to scramble to get above water right now. And I know that that's a common mindset with a lot of people. What would you say to that person?
36:42I know what I would say, but I wanna hear what you would say. They go, look, bro. That sounds good, and I do agree with you.
36:47But right now, it's about survival mode for me. And once I get there, then this whole dream thing will kick in again at that point.
36:55What would you say to that person? Doesn't work that way.
36:58It doesn't work like that. Oh, man. I wish I and that's that's the conversation I absolutely love having face to face with another person Mhmm.
37:07Because it sounds logical. Mhmm.
37:10You know, they're you know, moms or dads are like, you know, I don't even have enough to make the, you know, the months longer than than my paycheck. And I'm like, if if you don't put you first, if you don't build the habits around the controllables so that's what I always say is, like, I can't control the rest of the world.
37:29I can control me. I can control what I do tomorrow morning. I can control what I focus on.
37:34I can control what I put in my mind, the books I read, the people I associate with, the conversation I allow myself to have. And if I do those things, I have to have trust. This is where it goes back to becoming somebody that attracts into their life.
37:47Everything else will be the same. If I can just be the person that builds that confidence of the future that it could happen by just being consistent.
37:58I think consistency is like the number one habit that most people just can't do long enough. Like, they can't it's crazy because they'll be right there where it's gonna Yep.
38:08It's gonna be a breakthrough, and then they self sabotage. Mhmm.
38:12And it's like, you you know what? I've I've heard so many people say this like a thousand days. I think Andy says this.
38:17A thousand days Mhmm. Of just doing a thing Mhmm. Every day to work on you.
38:23One of the things that I've noticed for sure
38:25is this idea of the consistency long enough. I cannot tell you how many people, man, I've watched get so close and they just fatigue.
38:35And I think the reason they fatigue is there's no external proof yet.
38:41So they don't get they people look for a lot of things. Number one, and I want you to talk about this.
38:46Number one, they look for the external like, hey. There's no evidence. Like, my bank account isn't bigger.
38:49Our sales aren't up. My body hasn't changed yet the way I want it to. Or they're obsessed with getting support from the people around them.
38:59You know? Still my spouse hasn't bought in. Still my parents haven't bought.
39:03Still my friends think I'm crazy, and it just wears them down because they're like, no. If I just keep and I feel like, at least in my case, I'm like, look.
39:11They're probably not going to support you until you win. And if you just know that going in, it's not such a big deal that you don't get it.
39:19Like, most people only support. That's why most people aren't believers in faith. They have to see something.
39:24Yeah. Prove it. They have to prove it.
39:25And so you're gonna have to prove it in life. But I just I think what you just said is so factual, brother, because not only have to be consistent long enough. Can you can you be patient long enough and deliberate long enough and basically wear everybody else out?
39:44Right? Like, wear them out. That's the thing about you.
39:47You flew in here today. I'm on Instagram. Bam.
39:49You're at the gym. Right? Like Don't miss.
39:52Over and over and over again. So talk about this. What do you do to stay consistent now?
39:59Because you don't have to anymore. No. And what do you do to do it long enough?
40:02Like, even this now, you're trying to become and are becoming a major influence in the world now. Beyond your community and your companies, now you wanna impact the world.
40:13That doesn't happen in two weeks. So how do you do it?
40:17Such a good question.
40:21When I think about the motivation, I so it's such a great question.
40:29And and maybe people resonate with this or maybe they won't. It just is what it is.
40:35My purpose sat right next to the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life. My purpose initially was like this dark energy of drive to prove all these people wrong.
40:49The my buddy Mike's mom who said there's no way Dan the drug dealer's gonna be in my house to everybody that didn't believe me in school.
40:58So like when I started, it was that that dark energy. And what shifted was the bigger purpose of why I'm doing this.
41:06And it's tough, and that's why I think faith is so important. Because if I was just doing it for me, it wouldn't be big enough.
41:15And I'll be honest, even if I was just doing it for my family, don't think it'd be big enough. Not this level.
41:20As you know, at this, like, man, it's gonna ask the world. If you wanna do stuff at the highest level, it's gonna ask everything.
41:30Like every cell. And not only that, it's gonna ask of things that you don't even have yet that you better go figure out as fast as you can because you're gonna need it next week.
41:40Yes. Like the capacity I have, and you say this all the time, your capacity has expanded at your extremities. That's right.
41:47And the reason for me why it's so important is I know my desire to serve other people is my my true north, that energy, that focus. And I don't have today what I'm gonna need to do tomorrow. Yeah.
41:59I know I just know I don't have it. Mhmm. So not only do I have to be consistent on the daily today, hitting the gym, eating clean, doing all that stuff to have the energy, but I gotta be feet of my mind.
42:10I gotta be around people. I gotta continue to audit my words and try to figure out, like, where's my next opportunity? Because I just don't wanna man, could you imagine you have an opportunity to be on, like, the biggest show in the world back in the day, Oprah?
42:23Mhmm. Let's say you write a book. Magically, it becomes a best selling book, and Oprah chooses you to gift it Christmas time to all her friends, and you're not ready.
42:32Mhmm. And I just think people I I honestly believe, because I see it around me.
42:38Some people are actually presented the opportunities
42:40Yeah. As black and white. It's right there.
42:43Mhmm. And they weren't ready to capitalize on it. I think so too.
42:46I think all people are presented an opportunity or two in their lifetime. And either a, they're not ready or they have not worked on themselves to the point where they even acknowledge and recognize it when he shows up. They didn't recognize Brian when he showed up like you did.
42:58They didn't recognize it. They didn't recognize they needed a coach at the time that you decided to work with me. They don't recognize that business idea when it comes their way because they are not self aware enough at the time.
43:09They have not worked on themselves with their filter. That question that you ask yourself about God's grace, what that does is earlier when you were covering that, I thought it just changes your whole filter of the world, and you begin to see things that were always there that you were oblivious to before.
43:23And when you really work on yourself, what ends up happening is your filter of the world changes, and you begin to see the people, the places, the things, the questions, the opportunities, the tactics that were there probably before that you were oblivious to.
43:40And so that's why the work on yourself matters so much because it changes the filter. So good. Someone listening to this goes, it's not true.
43:46They've never come my way. That's your reality. That's your reality.
43:51And it's actually true. You're right because you are creating that reality. But if you would work on yourself and change things in your associations, your identity, get a coach, do whatever it is, the filter changes.
44:04And what you'll think when it happens is, oh my gosh. It just magically happened. It just happened.
44:08Or that you've attracted it. Yes. You've attracted it, but I promise you, there were other people that had come along before that were there to serve you to change your life, and you missed it.
44:19And if you become open to it, it'll change. So let me ask you this. Let's do business tactics because we can go everywhere with you.
44:24Other than hiring the right people to buy your time back, if you could wish upon your children or someone listening to this one or two business skills that you think sets them up for the next twenty years in the modern economy? Yeah. And I know this would transcend lots of businesses, so it's a hard question because Yeah.
44:41You know, if you were gonna be a programmer, maybe this is a different skill set. But by and large, what are one or two of the skills across the board you would tell somebody?
44:49You better develop these skills. The the first one is learning how to sell.
44:53Yeah. And some people are gonna call it persuasion, but I was so bad. I was a programmer.
44:58I saw I mean, learning to write code saved my life. I'm in rehab.
45:03I find this computer book, and it just became my new obsession, my new addiction. So I just I'd write code. And it and I liked it because I didn't have to talk to anybody.
45:11Had a lot of anger issues. I you know, just like, I just wanna code. The challenges.
45:16That's not how you build a business. And and learning to convince somebody else that your solution's the right solution, that is a skill.
45:25I was so bad at it. I remember, Ed, I was trying to get somebody to buy from me and it just got no, no, no Mhmm. To the point where I was like, alright.
45:32I'm gonna start reading sales books. Mhmm. I think the first book might have been a Brian Tracy book Mhmm.
45:37And then Tom Hopkins and then Zig Ziglar. And then and and I couldn't even read them because it was so foreign to me at the time as a introverted ish programmer that I would just drive around in my car with the audio CD as a forcing function to listen for hours, five, six hours at a time.
45:54Nope. No place to go. I would just drive weekends just listening to these books to try to learn the skills, the to, like, how to pattern match and how to talk.
46:03Like, I was so socially awkward that it was the skill that then became the leading skill for everything else.
46:11Hiring people, getting investors, you know, convince I mean, finding my wife. Like, I mean, you can't I'm I'm I'm a single guy if I don't learn how to talk.
46:20Selling is like the foundational skill for people.
46:24If they can just understand that it is about communicating a desire to help.
46:30And the person who has the most certainty is usually the person who's gonna walk away with the opportunity. And it's just a beautiful place to get to, I think. So I would say number one skill that I had to work really hard with is sales.
46:40And then the second one is people. And, Ed, I it took me a while, man. I was I was such a my first company, I ran so hot.
46:49Yeah. I would I would I'm not proud of there's meetings where because I didn't know any better. Same here.
46:55It's just when things weren't going the way I wanted them to, I I only had one thing to grab for. And and Which was anger. Oh.
47:03Yeah. And and as long and until it worked out, that was the only thing. And then I realized that that is such a hard way to build a big business because you're always burning through people.
47:14And continuity is a competitive advantage. Having people in your life for decades will shift everything.
47:22So I had to learn how to work on my emotional shrapnel that I was u like, it was I was creating emotional shrapnel around me. How to oh, yeah. It was it was a point where I I spent time with therapists, coaches, reading every leadership book.
47:37Right? That's how I got turned on to John Maxwell's work. It was just I needed to be a better leader.
47:42Turned out I had to learn how to lead myself, how to separate the meaning I was associating to these scenarios because I would just see red wasn't required. If I could actually, in a situation, not be emotionally triggered, oh, the upper hand I would have.
47:58So for me, I think most people, and I see this today, people self sabotage themselves because of their emotions. Not because the opportunity is not there, not because the market's not there. It's because they overreact, and they just showed their hand.
48:11I'm not gonna get into business with a person that on a little thing, they go nuclear. I mean, this is little. We're we're talking 10,000,000 when this thing gets big, like, you're you're you're you're uncertain.
48:23So I just think those two skills of, like, being a world class salesperson understands how to to show up with conviction. Because that's really what it is, is certainty and just believe in it when you have no proof. And then understanding how to communicate with people.
48:35But do it in a way where you can attract the best of the best. Most people meet my team who's here and they go, where do you find an an or a sand? And I'm like, the problem is is they wouldn't work for you because you aren't leading yourself.
48:51So a lot of people think it's a pool. I have this magical pool I go fishing in or this lake and I go find this top talent. No.
48:57Top talent wants to work for a leader. First
49:00off, they need to be able to lead themselves. Second, they need to be able to communicate clear vision and show up. A great leader knows how to agitate, but he also knows how to create a sense of calm in the storm.
49:12And it took me a long time to figure that out. I'm still this is still an area because that's the only thing that caps what I can create is talent. You know how when you're doing interviews because you do them too, you go, that's one of the best clips for Instagram.
49:25Like, I'm listening to that answer right there, and I'm like, hey. That was like because I I wouldn't have answered it as well as you more than likely, but that would have been my answer as well. Your ability to persuade, sell, and communicate, and your ability to emotionally regulate yourself.
49:37Yeah. And I also relate to the anger stuff when I was young. Actually, not even that long ago.
49:42So I really relate to both of those things. I completely, totally agree with you. If I added a third, it would be I don't think you can attract abundance and money in your life if you don't understand it.
49:54And so I want you to tell them about your barber. And, yes, I do my research. Right?
49:57Because I think this is a huge lesson right here for everybody, and I if I could give you the list, it would be you better be able to persuade. So I don't care what the career is.
50:06Even to get the job, you need to have that. I agree. Be completely with emotional regulation, being able to control that and love and deal with people.
50:14And third, I think no one talks about this anymore, but most people never learned about money in their entire educational system. And I know very successful people that are not wealthy still that people on social media think are wealthy because they still don't understand money.
50:30The money suck. About your barber. This is a really good kinda just metaphor for the whole It it was such a beautiful lesson.
50:36I think I was, like, 24,
50:3723, and I had heard that my barber had won the lottery, but, like, real money, like, a million plus dollars.
50:46But he was still cutting my hair. And I I didn't you know, I I I felt it wasn't my place to ask, but, you know, after, like, four or five months of going and hearing, you know, rumors that he, like, won a million bucks in the lottery, and I'm like, why is he still cutting my hair for $12?
51:02And I remember his name was Phil. He's cutting my hair. I said, Phil, can I ask you a question?
51:06He said, yeah. I said, did you win the lottery? Yep.
51:10Yep. Dan, I won the lottery. I said, is it I don't wanna be rude.
51:15Is it rude for me to ask you, like, then why, like, why are you cutting my hair? Like, uh, like, we don't I don't think you like me that much. And he's like he goes, you know, Dan, if I would've known better, I would've done something different.
51:28I said, what'd you do? He said, well, I got the money. Bought bought myself, my wife, my kids, new cars.
51:36I paid off the mortgage. I brought the whole extended family on this big cruise. I bought a bunch of stuff I probably didn't need to impress people I didn't like.
51:47And when it was all said and done, a million bucks doesn't go that far. And, um, I'm still cutting hair.
51:54He said if I if I would've known better, I would've just bought an apartment building and called it a day. And I remember hearing that and realizing that it wasn't even the money.
52:05It was his mindset around the money. How so? So most people he didn't believe he deserved that million dollars.
52:14Mhmm. And when you don't believe you deserve something, you work really hard to get rid of it. And that's what happened.
52:20He he had a belief that, you know, I gotta take care of everybody else and put himself second. He didn't understand how to manage it.
52:29He didn't he was he was scary of everybody because people was like, oh, somebody's gonna steal it from you. So he didn't wanna talk to a financial. It's it's just and I get it because if you've never grown up in it I mean, my my I grew up and I learned things from my parents that made it really hard to even write that book.
52:44The idea that if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. And that, you know, don't every dollar you spend, you know, it's not what you make, it's what you earn. Or what it's not what you make, it's what you keep.
52:54That one kept me, like, really struggling for a long time because I wouldn't spend any money to get any leverage, which meant I was doing everything. Yeah.
53:03Because a dollar spent is a dollar that I didn't get to keep. Mhmm. But the whole point of life is to to experience it.
53:10Mhmm. To, like, to, like, buy time back so that you can have the time to be with your family and be present. And I just think that I got lucky that not only did Phil open up that, what what did he miss that I don't wanna miss when I become wealthy?
53:25And I just started again. I just went back to books. I started reading books about money mindset and how to manage my wealth.
53:32And I had some mentors. I had a early mentor. This guy was incredibly wealthy in the technology space.
53:37And I remember after I sold my first company. And I was like, you know, I hired a banker and wealth management team. And he goes, my rule is is you take half of it, that goes away.
53:47Mhmm. The other half's for the other stuff. Mhmm.
53:50The other stuff is your next company. Because he said, Dan, it's really easy to make money. It's hard to keep it.
53:55True. He said that. He goes, I can tell you all my friends that have sold their technology companies, made a bunch of money, millions of dollars.
54:02Mhmm. And five, six years later Yep. They gotta go do another one because or they gotta get a job.
54:07They gotta go work for Microsoft because they didn't know how to manage it. He's right. So he his whole philosophy was like, for every dollar you make, 50%, you lock and load.
54:14No risk, low risk stuff, and then use the rest to kinda build your your vision for your life. That's a great story. Had Phil told you, hey.
54:20I'm still cutting hair because it's what I love and it's my passion, that would be cool. I wouldn't learn lesson. Because of necessity.
54:25Right? And you learned a different lesson. Okay.
54:27Two questions left. You've hired a lot of coaches. How important is it do you think if that someone find a mentor?
54:36Whether they actually hire them or they follow them or whatever it is. And then inside of that, particularly, take a look at social media even though I'm not posting on there right now.
54:48There's so many people to pick from. Do you recommend someone pick one or two mentors and kinda follow them? What would your recommendation be to somebody who right now says, look.
54:57I you know, should they get a coach? Should they pay for a mentor? If they can't, how would you recommend they delineate and distinguish between who they listen to via
55:07the digital space? Yeah. I think there are people that just don't have the means right now.
55:12Mhmm. And I would say they're really lucky that they're born and live in this era. Mhmm.
55:18Because, Ed, when I grew up, there wasn't an ability for me to pull out this machine that was on me all the time where I could curate a feed of people that are legit business folks teaching. Like, that that wasn't a thing.
55:32The best I had was a book Mhmm. That I still had to buy. Right?
55:35Maybe I had a library card. And I just think most people are using social media the wrong way.
55:40Period. Full stop. They're using it the wrong way.
55:43Like, they're I don't follow my high school friends. My rule is if I would see you in a mall today and I would pretend like I don't know you, we're not friends. Like, it makes no sense that I'm gonna, like, have this pretend friendship with somebody I haven't seen in seventeen So so I use my feed to self educate, to get mentorship, to be coached virtually from people that I admire, that inspire me, and that costs nothing.
56:10Yep. Costs you a follow or an unfollow. Get the bad stuff out of your feed.
56:14That being said, until you pay, most people will not pay attention. And I believe this. I remember when I, you know, wired the money over to work with you.
56:24I knew the transformation happened at the transaction. And the reason why is because when we invest in ourselves, we tell ourselves a story.
56:33I'm worth it. Even though I was scared.
56:36I was scared. I wasn't sure what you're gonna tell me to do. I was just like, oh my gosh.
56:40But it told me that I'm worth it. And I remember my first coach, I was 23. Before I started my first business, his name was Bob.
56:48I write a book. I got inspired. I need a coach.
56:50I've been trying everything else. I failed two failed companies. And I had $3,000 in my bank account at the time.
56:56Bob was $1,500 a month. I signed a one year contract.
57:00I figured if Bob's good, he's gonna help me figure it out because I'm not gonna be able to pay him for the third month. And Bob just gave me the blueprint like a good coach does.
57:11That first year, we did almost 1,000,000 in revenue. Oh, that's awesome. But that's that's that's the way it works if you can do it.
57:16Mhmm. I think it's so important. And it's not even just the information, because if it was information, every, you know, PhD professor be rich.
57:24It's about the energy. It's about the belief. It's about the confidence.
57:29I mean, you know, several things that you've shared with me were life changing, but one of the the things that I value the most was your belief in me. Yeah.
57:38Mhmm. Like, when you would say something to me and you'd say, no, Dan. I need you to hear this, and you get quiet and you you tell me.
57:44I was just like, well and and you don't wanna let somebody down. Yeah.
57:49I mean, that's what Brian did for me. When Brian sits me down, he says, I believe in you and you don't belong here. I just didn't wanna I didn't wanna let him down.
57:57And he was right.
57:59And by the way, I was right. You're very easy to believe in at this stage. Brian I don't was a special dude.
58:05Me, you're pretty easy to believe in at this stage. Brian's the one who deserves the credit for sure. It it's apparent to everybody listening to you that's if every if there are people today, which there will be a lot that are being exposed to you for the first time, they're like, woah.
58:17Now I know why I introduced this guy this way. I'm very proud of you. I wanna tell you that first.
58:22I do believe in you, and I really believe that this is still the beginning, yet you're already so immensely successful. It's just I really admire because I had that and have that.
58:35You're wanting to pay it forward because you truly are grateful for the people that have helped you, and you truly wanna be that person in so many other people's lives, and I believe you're doing this for the right reasons. And that combined with your brilliance and your content means you need more exposure, which is why you're here today, and which why I hope that more people follow you.
58:57I hope people get buy back your time. They follow you on social media. So I wanna make sure everybody hears that.
59:01I'm a big fan of this dude. Last question. Hard one, but I wanna just see what you say.
59:08I'm just curious. So someone said to me yesterday, I'm a little older than you, but not much. Hey, man.
59:14Are you enjoying your summer? And and I said, yeah. Yeah.
59:19I got some stuff going, and they know about my health issues. He goes, well, bro, you have between one and thirty good summers left. I recommend you enjoy them.
59:28And it hit me. One would be something happened with my heart or whatever. Yeah.
59:31And if it all works out, maybe you got 30 great summers left, but it certainly is scarce and finite. And I don't know.
59:39I've been thinking about it since he said it all the way to right now asking you this question. This isn't in my notes, but let's just say that you have between ten and forty summers left.
59:48Let's just say. Maybe you get 50 because you're in such great shape, but it's finite. There's not that many left.
59:53Yeah. You have let's say you have 30 more Augusts.
59:58At the end of those Augusts or at the end for that last summer you experienced someday, when you're in the last summer of your life, what do you want to look back and have experienced and felt?
1:00:13What would have made it a great life for you?
1:00:16Let's pretend you only had two years left. What would you wanna do? What are the big things you wanna do?
1:00:21You can write those down. You know, if you only had two weeks. What if you only had two weeks but you couldn't tell anybody?
1:00:29That one's a fun one to to consider. I know for me, if you had two days and you couldn't tell anybody, what would you do?
1:00:37You'd be sending the plane around. You'd be bringing people to you. You'd be living with them.
1:00:42You'd be you'd be pouring again, you can't tell them. You know. Forty eight hours.
1:00:47And a decade ago, I I did this exercise, and I just changed my whole calendar.
1:00:54So for example, every two years, because of that exercise, my brother and I pay for the whole trip, and we fly every family member.
1:01:02We live in one house with all the kids, go skiing on a ski hill in the winter. And in the summertime, I do it with my wife and her family.
1:01:11Because I don't know if we got forty years. I don't know how many August's I got left. And I and and that's why I'm crazy grateful for really deciding to going in on documenting and creating the social media side because I don't even writing the book.
1:01:28I put off writing a book for a long time. Didn't need one, doing the business stuff, and didn't feel called. But, man, if that day would have been my that last day before the book was published, I would have wished.
1:01:41I would have had some regret. Yeah. So I just look at it as, like, regret minimization.
1:01:46I was fortunate enough to learn this a decade ago, so when my kids are about you know, they're 11 and 12. Man, when I would spend time with them, every time, I had I mean, it sounds corny, but I had it in my calendar. It said what to talk to them about.
1:01:59That's awesome. I just wanted to. I just Yep.
1:02:01I don't wanna forget. Yeah. That's a great answer because you and I, you know, John Rulen, have a really good friend who is
1:02:09a He just passed. His his funeral was this weekend. Same age.
1:02:13You know? Four kids. Yeah.
1:02:15Four kids, young man in his forties, and and gone. So like that that.
1:02:21Question. Yeah. Just like that.
1:02:22What a great answer, by the way. What a great conversation. Thank for the ages here.
1:02:26So I already told you to follow them. If you enjoyed today, everybody, just share the episode. That's all I ever ask of you.
1:02:32I know this made a difference in your life, and I'm grateful that you were here today, Dan. I'm grateful for all of you for listening or watching. God bless you.
1:02:39Max out.
The Hook

The bait, then the rug-pull.

The cold open drops you into a high-speed police chase: stolen car, handgun in a backpack, a 16-year-old who had decided to let the cops take his life. The gun jams. That is where this conversation about designing a 9-figure life actually begins.

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