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Ed Mylett · YouTube

Don't Ever Be Comfortable With Comfort

An 80-minute compilation of Ed Mylett interview clips on why discomfort is the only reliable path to growth — and why your worst years may be your greatest qualification.

Posted
2 years ago
Duration
Format
Interview
sincere
Views
21.3K
838 likes
Big Idea

The argument in one line.

Comfort is not a reward to pursue but a signal that your capacity has stopped growing, and the deliberate pursuit of inconvenience is the mechanism by which ordinary people build extraordinary lives.

Who This Is For

Read if. Skip if.

READ IF YOU ARE…
  • An entrepreneur who works hard but suspects you have built a ceiling by avoiding the uncomfortable things in your business or personal life.
  • Someone who grew up in a difficult or unstable household and carries emotional patterns — worry, chaos, anger — that still run your behavior despite changed circumstances.
  • A person who wants a repeatable framework for building genuine self-confidence grounded in kept commitments, not affirmations or achievements.
  • Anyone who believes their mistakes, failures, or messy history disqualify them from doing something meaningful.
SKIP IF…
  • You are looking for tactical business frameworks — this is a mindset and identity conversation, not a step-by-step how-to.
  • You have already absorbed the core One More material from the book; this compilation covers substantially the same ground.
TL;DR

The full version, fast.

Ed Mylett core argument is that comfort is a trap, not a destination, and the only way to expand what you are capable of is to consistently pursue the inconvenient thing. Drawn from multiple podcast interviews, the conversation covers the One More standard — doing one extra rep, contact, or act of love beyond your stated goal until it becomes your baseline — the 3-day method of treating 6-hour blocks as full days to triple weekly output, and emotional imprinting, the mechanism by which childhood emotional patterns continue to drive adult behavior until named. The most striking thread: the things you are most ashamed of are precisely what qualify you to change someone else life.

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Voices

Who's talking.

00:00guestEd Mylett
00:00hostLewis Howes
Chapters

Where the time goes.

00:00 – 04:12

01 · Living on vacation — building homes you want to be in

Ed on inheritance, not over-giving to kids, and the philosophy of building a life you never need to escape from

04:12 – 11:09

02 · Making dreams come true for people not yet born

The hidden gift of sacrifice — your hard work today compounds for children and grandchildren who do not exist yet

11:09 – 16:13

03 · Emotional imprinting and conscious living

How childhood emotional patterns get installed by loving people, and why awareness is the first and biggest lever to break them

16:13 – 22:00

04 · The One More standard

Keeping promises to yourself and adding one more rep, contact, or expression of love as the foundation of superhuman self-confidence

22:00 – 29:22

05 · Extremity expands capacity

Why you have to push past what you think you are capable of, and the body as the most reliable catalyst for broader life change

29:22 – 39:14

06 · The cost of self-neglect

Ed emotional reckoning — decades of achieving for others at his own expense, and the distinction between succeeding because of intensity vs. in spite of it

39:14 – 49:44

07 · The confidence trilogy and emotional inventory

Faith, intention, and associations as the three pillars of confidence — plus how to identify your gateway emotion and interrupt it

49:44 – 58:22

08 · Your mess qualifies you

The 3AM revelation about his father sobriety: an anonymous alcoholic changed an entire generational line, which means your failures are your greatest qualification

58:22 – 1:07:02

09 · The 3-day method

Treating 6AM-noon, noon-6PM, and 6PM-midnight as three separate days to get 21 productive days per week instead of 7

1:07:02 – 1:20:33

10 · Mentors, faith, and not being by yourself

How great mentors see you as you could be and warn you off dead-end roads, and why a specific community beats a broad one every time

Atomic Insights

Lines worth screenshotting.

  • Comfort is not a neutral state — it is active stagnation. When nothing feels hard, nothing is growing.
  • In life you do not get your goals long term — you get your standards. Raise the standard to one more and goals become a floor, not a ceiling.
  • Not pursuing your potential is a form of neglect of your children. They catch your limitations; they do not just inherit your assets.
  • Emotional patterns installed in childhood — worry, chaos, fear — do not disappear when circumstances improve. They need to be named before they can be overridden.
  • The things you are most ashamed of are what qualify you to help others. An anonymous alcoholic changed a generational line without knowing it.
  • Superhuman confidence comes from keeping promises to yourself plus one more — not from affirmations, achievements, or possessions.
  • Linking your confidence to your intention rather than your results gives you a source of confidence that can never be taken away.
  • Most people have the same emotional home as their parents. You live the same emotional life with a different cast of characters until you consciously redesign it.
  • The body is the most reliable catalyst for broader life change because it is the domain where you have the closest thing to complete control.
  • The 3-day method is not about working more hours — it is about treating time as a diamond instead of paper, which changes how everyone around you values your time too.
  • A mentor who becomes a friend has more influence than one who stays a teacher. Peers change behavior; teachers change knowledge.
  • Your mentor wrong turns are more valuable than their success playbooks — a warning off a dead end saves more years than copying a win.
  • Building a business without mentorship does not preserve your independence — it builds a bigger cage. The first decade alone leaves marks.
  • Specificity in a community beats breadth. A mastermind built for one industry gives higher-precision guidance than any broad coaching program.
Takeaway

What comfort costs you — and how to stop paying it

WHAT TO LEARN

The gap between where you are and where you could be is not talent, luck, or resources — it is the number of inconvenient things you have been willing to do consistently.

  • Comfort is not a neutral resting state — it is active stagnation. When nothing in your day feels hard, nothing about you is growing.
  • Emotional patterns from childhood do not disappear when your bank account or address changes. Naming the pattern — really seeing it in the moment — removes most of its power before any other intervention.
  • Not pursuing your potential affects the people watching you, especially children. They absorb your behavior, not your intentions, and your willingness to settle becomes the software installed in them.
  • The One More standard works because long-term results match standards, not goals. Committing to one extra rep, contact, or act of love every day gradually raises your floor until what used to be exceptional becomes automatic.
  • Physical transformation is one of the most reliable levers for broader life change because the body is one of the few domains where effort and outcome track closely — proving you can change one thing makes every other domain feel changeable.
  • The things you are most ashamed of — failures, a messy history, wasted years — are not disqualifiers. They are often the precise credential that allows you to reach someone in that same position.
  • Linking confidence to the quality of your intention (wanting to help) is more durable than linking it to results or possessions, because intention is always within reach even when results are not.
  • The 3-day method reframes time as a scarce resource rather than an infinite backdrop. When you treat a 6-hour block as a complete day, precision replaces sprawl and other people begin to treat your time as valuable too.
  • The most useful thing a mentor offers is usually a warning off a dead-end road they already traveled — not their success formula. Their wrong turns save you more years than copying their wins.
  • Belonging to a specific, narrowly defined community (same industry, same problem) produces higher-quality guidance than any broad mastermind because the advice can be precise rather than generic.
Glossary

Terms worth knowing.

One More standard
The practice of doing one additional rep, contact, or act of love beyond whatever goal you set for the day — not as a one-time effort but as the permanent baseline behavior that recalibrates your standards upward.
Emotional imprinting
The process by which repeated emotional experiences in early childhood create neural patterns that cause adults to unconsciously seek out the same emotional states — positive or negative — even when their external circumstances have changed.
RAS (Reticular Activating System)
The brain filter that determines what information gets through to conscious awareness. Whatever you program into it — through repetition or strong emotional focus — becomes what you see and hear in your environment.
3-day method
Ed Mylett time framework that treats 6AM-noon, noon-6PM, and 6PM-midnight as three separate days, producing 21 effective days per week instead of 7 by forcing more precise attention within each block.
Confidence trilogy
Ed Mylett three-part model for building self-confidence: (1) faith — believing you are not alone in any situation; (2) intention — grounding confidence in the desire to help rather than in achievements; (3) associations — choosing relationships that pull you toward your highest standard.
Gateway emotion
A primary emotional state (such as chaos or anxiety) that reliably triggers a cascade of secondary negative emotions (anger, fear, depression). Identifying your gateway emotion lets you interrupt the chain early.
Resources

Things they pointed at.

37:18bookThink and Grow Rich
37:43bookThe Power of Intention
16:15bookThe Power of One More
18:07productWealthCon ↗
1:16:02productTop Contractor School
Quotables

Lines you could clip.

00:44
“I'm not comfortable in comfort to this day. I'm comfortable in discomfort.”
Tight paradox, no setup needed, instantly quotable→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
09:28
“What no one tells you about busting your ass and making your dreams come true is all of the dreams of the people you love that you will make come true that you don't even know they have.”
Reframes sacrifice — hits parents hard→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
20:57
“In life, we don't get our goals. We get our standards long term.”
Tight punchline, no setup needed, quotable on its own→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
24:40
“Not pursuing your potential in your dreams — that is a form of neglect of your children. You're installing the software in them that it's okay to settle.”
Provocative reframe — challenges comfortable parents→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
29:22
“I've spent a lot of years of my life at my own expense in the service of other people.”
Rare vulnerability from a high-confidence figure — high emotional resonance→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
54:28
“All of us run around carrying these bags — I'm not qualified because I made this mistake. That's why you're qualified.”
Permission-giving, contrarian reframe of failure→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
1:03:34
“Most people treat their days like paper instead of diamonds.”
Tight metaphor, standalone, no context needed→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
Topic Map

Where the conversation goes.

00:00 – 11:09steadyWealth, legacy, and inheritance philosophy
11:09 – 22:00denseEmotional imprinting and childhood patterns
22:00 – 29:22denseOne More framework and self-confidence
29:22 – 39:14denseBody transformation as catalyst for life change
39:14 – 49:44denseEmotional inventory and the confidence trilogy
49:44 – 58:22denseMess as qualification and generational compounding
58:22 – 1:07:02dense3-day time method and time as a scarce resource
1:07:02 – 1:20:33steadyMentors, faith, and community specificity
The Script

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00:00One thing I do want them to have in their life that I've worked hard for is I want both of my children to a safe, stable home Mhmm. That they can raise my grandbabies in someday when they have them. So I am gonna make sure they have that.
00:10Yeah. Beyond that, it's gonna trickle out over time. They're not gonna get a bunch of it.
00:15The worst thing I could ever do is give them each a $100,000,000. Just give them this massive weight fall. No way, man.
00:19No way will I do that to my kids. And I don't think they want it at this stage based on the way they were raised. So there's a way that you can write your trust that dictates when and how and where they get money and also things they have to achieve in order to get the money.
00:31And so mine is beginning to be rewritten that way. I like that. Yeah.
00:35Yeah. It's cool. No.
00:36That's awesome. So, you know, speaking of of grinding and, like, all the adversity, while while you were talking, it was making me think, like, for me,
00:44you know, we're both baseball guys. Yeah. And so I just remember I played eight years in the minors and Long time.
00:50You know, independent baseball and everything. And I remember literally taking hundreds of bus rides, staying in motels, and Yep.
00:57Making literally $1,200 a month Yep. Doing that.
01:02And I'm like, that made me who I am today. Yep. Where I'm like, dude, I'll go sit and coach.
01:06I don't really care. Who cares? Coach is great Yep.
01:08Compared to what I was doing. Yep. And so it's just like
01:13when you're built in comfort Yeah. You don't really flex your muscles and grow and all that. I'm a tell you something.
01:18This sounds weird. I'm not comfortable in comfort to this day. Yeah.
01:22I'm comfortable in discomfort. I'm I still have a hard time being comfortable. Like, if we go on vacation, man, I'm it take me three or four days before I even unwind, and then maybe I got one or two good days.
01:32And then I feel like, shit. I need get back to work. And then so I'm not I'm just sort of on I'm 52.
01:38I get me now. Yeah. I had this illusion or delusion that I'd be a dude who could sit on a beach all day.
01:44No. And that's what I would do. I just can't.
01:45Like, I just I love work. I love my work is my sport.
01:49It's my hobby. I wasn't as good as you, so I didn't have eight years of minor league ball. I got a little brief taste.
01:54I was I got relieved of my duties early on. But I I love how I feel when I end the day that I busted my ass and good stuff happened.
02:05Yeah. I don't like how I feel. That doesn't mean man, look.
02:08I've had plenty of trips to Cabo Yeah. Where I've had a lot of tequila and a lot of golf, and I didn't do a lot of work. I have done that, but I find my tolerance level for doing it is much shorter.
02:18Like, I'll go two, three days. I'm ready to get back. I'm a tell you something crazy.
02:22I'm 52. I can go anywhere in the world I want to. I have never been on a vacation longer than a week.
02:27And on that one week vacation, I have never not worked some of the days. Right. So, like, k.
02:34This is gonna trip people out. Like, I've never been to Europe.
02:37I haven't either. Haven't been.
02:39And to be honest with you, I had a bunch of trips scheduled, and I canceled them when I was younger because stuff at work came up. And I don't really feel like I missed anything, to be really honest with you. We have a lot of commonality because
02:49we go to Cabo all the time. Mhmm. So I love going there.
02:52Why do you love to go? Because you can get there in a couple hours from where we live. It's the easiest freaking trip ever.
02:56It was the only place open during COVID. It was great. Yep.
02:59So I went to Cabo. I go to Cabo a few times a year. Me too.
03:02And, you know,
03:04I'm going there because I like sitting on the beach for a few days. I like the service, the food Me too. The weather.
03:10Everything's great. But I've never been to Europe for your because, like, I don't wanna walk the streets and, like, I don't know, see history. I don't care.
03:16Yeah. To be honest with you, I'm not a sightseer. Yeah.
03:19I'm not I I god. I'm gonna get a lot of hate on it. I just don't care.
03:22Like, I I don't wanna fly twelve or fifteen hours when I can just fly. Like, I got I'm doing a speaking tour in I think it's Dubai in October. Number one thing.
03:30I'm like, oh, flight over. Yeah. You know?
03:32And then I'm going there for it's a good example. My team's playing on the tub. They're like, well, you talk on this day.
03:37And I'm like, okay. So it's a day change. I go, get me in there.
03:40Get me to do the talk. I'm like, no. It's like twenty hours of flying.
03:42I go, I don't care. I don't I'm not I don't wanna see it. I wanna get back.
03:45I live on vacation. Yeah. So the biggest thing I would say to someone who's relating to what I'm saying or wonders, I've built homes where I want to actually vacation and live.
03:55Yeah. So my vacation is 05:00 tonight. When you're gone, I'll be smoking a cigar out there on my balcony with a nice $19.42 in the glass, and I'm on damn vacation.
04:05Yeah. I live oceanfront, man. I got an island.
04:07I I I don't need to go to your version of vacation. And sometimes I go to Cabo. Even Cabo, I'm like, I just left there.
04:14It's right there. Yeah. That's Cabo.
04:16It's a little warmer. Like, what's better there is, like, the food's better. Like, the service is better.
04:21That's it. Change your place Yeah. So it recharges you to get back.
04:24And I don't wanna steal the dream from people that wanna be like, travel the world. That's a I don't even like packing when I travel. Like, just my stuff's in my closet, man.
04:31I just go grab my shorts and go down to the beach. Like Yeah. So I actually did this early on.
04:35I went to a seminar. A guy spoke. I'll never forget this.
04:39And he's like, I live on vacation. I go, that's the version I want. I don't need packing bags.
04:44Here's the other thing. Like, no one's gonna relate to this, but, like, I'm introverted. I like it quiet.
04:48I don't even like hotels. Yeah. To be honest with you, I don't like the noise other people make.
04:52I'm like, I like being in my damn I worked real hard to get this house here and to get the other houses. So, like, I and I just something in my body goes, let's get back and accomplish something. Let's expand.
05:03Let's do something. Almost feel like I'm wasting away when I'm on vacation. Maybe that'll change when I'm 70.
05:08I don't know. But, like, if I thought by the time I was 50 Yeah. I'll be like, this will be out of my system.
05:13It's just not. I love I don't love all the work.
05:16Yeah. I love meeting the next version of me. I love more self discovery.
05:21I love expanding my being. Like, I I'm addicted to that. My I'm not a big drinker.
05:26I probably smoke too many cigars, but, like, I'm addicted to the expansion of me Yeah. Of my soul, of my spirit, of my being, of trying to understand myself and god and life and human beings better and make a bigger impact.
05:40And, you know, like, that's my addiction. Yeah. No.
05:43I love I've never heard that. I I like to live on vacation. Like, that's I do.
05:47I live on vacation. And you see that, like,
05:49I I don't have, you know, $30,000,000
05:51plus household reach. Well on your way. You're ahead of where I was.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Well, with me even at the current stage, you know, a house that's, uh, 10% of this. Right?
06:00I'm sure it's more than that. I
06:02I don't like to go leave that because we have everything. Like, it's a great house. Yes.
06:07And so if I'm gonna go stay at a hotel, I'm like, this has to be an upgrade Correct. Over what I have over here because why would I go? Yes.
06:14So it's that's that's basically your point. One thing that's changed me the last five years, I have become a little bit snooty in, like, when I travel, where I stay. So it used to be, like, I tell myself, get me a good deal on something.
06:24Yeah. Even when I was rich, I was like, get me a good deal. Yeah.
06:26And then a couple of those deals weren't really good deals, you know, once I got there. So now when I do travel, I go, what's the best place? Yeah.
06:33And I wanna stay at the best place with the best service. Yeah. No.
06:36I'm with you. And I've I've learned to value service as, like,
06:40my experiences have grown. Because before I mean, look.
06:44I grew up poor as a minor league baseball player. So, like, even eating Chipotle was like a sacrifice. Yes.
06:50Like, dude, man, either make rice and chicken and it cost me $2, or I eat Chipotle.
06:55It's five times. That was the decision. Top ramen days too.
06:58Yeah. Yep. And, you know, I remember the moment I didn't have to worry about paying for Chipotle anymore.
07:03It was like, wow. This is crazy. And then you start to, you know, try new things, and then we started going out to dinner for a $100.
07:10And then you're like, wow. This is crazy. Yes.
07:12Then then you go to a $500 dinner with your wife, and you're like, dude, this is I understand why people pay so much for the this. It's not that the food is just so much crate. It's the service.
07:23It's the ambiance. It's all of those things. Bro, you're it's so funny that you say this.
07:28I've never said this in any interview. You're a good interviewer.
07:31I still have these moments like, well, I bought the island or whatever. Right? You go, did that wow you?
07:36Yeah. It did. But let me tell you, like, I still have these flashes where, like, I'll be at dinner with my family.
07:42The bill's $280 or whatever. And I'm like, I'm paying for this, and I'm not worrying about it.
07:48Like, those things I used to worry about so much were, like it's amazing to me how not simple. That's more than simple.
07:55But, like, those things still give me great pride and joy compared to, like, even the big things because I had I went so long as an entrepreneur.
08:05I can tell you how I lived, man. I I had to rent an office, and I was looking for a new office.
08:10I had my financial company, and I found this office building that was on the roof above a Taco Bell. And the reason I rented this building, I signed a three year lease, is I figured out I'd go down there and eat Taco Bell every day, and I can and I can refill this Mountain Dew cup here every day enough That's a new literally how my stupid brain thinks.
08:27So I tell you I'm risk adverse, but, like, I literally kept my office for three years because I could go get 59¢ bean burritos every single day. It wasn't good for my fitness back in the day. Yeah.
08:35But anything I could do to conserve or save money or pump more back into my business. And so now when I do go to Mastro's for dinner Yeah. It's not the best place in the world, but it's good.
08:43I'm like, I'm taking my family to dinner. Yep. And I'm not worried about this bill.
08:47This is a great feeling. That that stuff is what made all the long nights, all the rejection, all the drives, all the dark houses where people no showed, all the clients who changed their mind, all the critics.
09:00You'd be surprised at what made it worth it. This makes it worth it, but this more stuff like that makes it worth it to me.
09:07Like, my kids went to private school, man. I was able to educate my kids the way I wanted to. Yep.
09:12That made it worth it. I took those arrows so my kids could go to a safe school where there's a security guard in the front, and they don't have to worry of like, that stuff is here's the biggest thing about making your dreams come true. And I've just stumbled into this lately.
09:24I've been talking about it more because I've had the blessing of this happening. You have these dreams you wanna make happen. Live on the ocean or pay off your mom's house or whatever it might be that's your dream or start your foundation.
09:35Buy your Lambo, whatever your thing is. That is cool. And when you make your dreams come true, it blows your mind.
09:41What you what no one tells you about busting your ass and making your dreams come true is all of the dreams of the people you love that you will make come true that you don't even know they have and that they don't even know they have. I'll give you a perfect example.
09:56I worked really hard many years when I didn't have kids. Little did I know when I was working till midnight, get up at four the next morning, or whatever I had to go through. I was actually someday making the dreams come true of children that weren't even born yet.
10:08Same with you, man. When you've been bust some of these most of your sacrifice, a lot of it happened before these babies were even born. Yep.
10:14Yep. The coolest thing about getting wealthy and making your dreams come true isn't what you think it is. It's the dreams you will make a reality for the people that you love in your life, some of which aren't even born yet that you don't even know they have.
10:26That's the secret part of becoming somebody in your life that no one tells you. Can go to any summer and go, man, it's so good to buy a Lambo. It's so cool to have a jet.
10:35It's great to do. What they never tell you is there'll be literally millions of micro dreams of the people that you love. Some of them some of you right now that are watching this or listening to this are working your ass off to make the dreams come true of somebody you have not even met yet in your life and may not meet for another decade.
10:52Yet you will do things for them because of what you're doing right now that you can't even imagine. That's the biggest part. Yeah.
10:57For me, I was never a big material guy. Like, I just Me either. Started buying watches two years ago.
11:02You know? Like, I never I I flew first class for the first time two years ago. K.
11:07And so I never cared about it. Yep. And
11:10the more that I've just gone through life and, you know, bought nice things, you're like, I mean, the watch was cool, but Mhmm. It's gone.
11:17After you buy it, you're like, alright. Whatever. Experience is nailed it.
11:21Is really what matters. And so, you know, I was talking to actually my team on the the drive up here. It's like, man, this drive up here is an experience, like, what we're doing.
11:31You know, we were talking about my my daughter had two crazy parties, you know, just, like, over the top that you know, she's two, three years old. She's not ever gonna remember this. Mhmm.
11:40And I was like, it's not even about her or that. It's about the other kids who will never get to experience something that crazy. Can I tell you one thing about your kids, though?
11:48Let me give you some insight on this. Her soul remembers it,
11:52and her emotional imprinting remembers it. So when you're giving your kids when they're really young like this, these blessings of these incredible experiences, although they won't remember the actual experience when they're 25 years old, there's an emotional imprinting that creates patterns where she'll go back and pursue those same emotions of joy and beauty and bliss in her life unknowingly.
12:12When you a child is raised without those experiences and without those things with trauma or stress, they seek those out as they get older. So these things you do for your kids, they don't have to be pool parties or money, but these emotional things that our children feel when they're young, they go seek those as patterns when they get older.
12:28So for me, when I was young, because my dad was a drinker, my emotional pattern was to worry, was to be afraid, was to be scared, was to even be angry. And so as I became an older man, even though conditions of my life changed, my emotional imprinting didn't change.
12:43I still was worried. I was still scared. I was still angry.
12:47So these things you do, those of you listening to this for your children now that they're young, they may not remember them, but you're creating emotional imprinting where they will pursue those patterns and those experience and those people in their lives that deliver them for them as opposed to the ones that harm them and hurt them.
13:01How does somebody break free of that? Because so many people are listening. Mhmm.
13:05They had no control over that. Yes. It's how they're raised.
13:07Yep. And,
13:09you know, you got the majority of the world who's like, well, my circumstance sucked. Yes. There's nothing I can do.
13:14Yep. And then you have people who overcome it. How do they do it?
13:17First is being aware of it. That's why it's so important they listen to what I just said. You just go, that explains me.
13:22Yeah. That explains me. I got it.
13:24Okay. So there's some imprinting that was done. So the first is when you when there's an emotion or a thought and you become aware of it, it loses most of its power over you.
13:32Mhmm. So, like, for me, like, I love to create chaos in my life. No matter what's going on, I gotta mix in some chaos.
13:38And I used to say to people, man, I'm so good under stress and chaos. But what started to happen was I produce it unnecessarily.
13:46And I'm like, why the hell do I do this? Because I grew up in so much of it. And so once I was aware of it, now when I start to do it, I go, I'm doing this stupid shit again.
13:54You're just not you're aware every time. Go. So the one is the awareness, and then two is, like, beginning to live consciously.
14:00Don't be someone who just lives unconsciously where you just respond and react all your life. Live as a conscious human being. Mhmm.
14:07Choose. How would I like to live? What emotions do I want to experience?
14:11Begin to pursue them intentionally. There's a massive power in your life of just intentional pursuit of something, intentional pursuit of a goal, intentional pursuit of an outcome, intentional pursuit of a business, and also intentional pursuit of our emotions.
14:26What do we do? We set up goals every year. You teach it.
14:28I teach it. What are the things you wanna get done? I want the jet.
14:31I want a $100 saved. I wanna make 2,000,000. I wanna scale my business by 20%.
14:35I wanna get to 8% body fat. Whatever these things are, we write up down every year. Do you really want those things, or do you want how they will make you feel?
14:438% body fat. I'd be shredded. How would I feel?
14:45Right? Dream relationship. How would I feel?
14:47$100 in the bank. Million bucks in the bank, whatever it How would I feel? So although those are important things, how come we never get intentional about the actual feeling?
14:55Mhmm. What if you worked on both at the same time? Because what I found out is I've pursued the feelings and the emotions.
15:01It's been easier to produce the material things Instead of I did it the hard way before. I'm gonna get all this stuff, and then I'll feel better. Mhmm.
15:08What I started to do as I get a little bit older is I want all the stuff and the things and the accomplishments and the accumulations, but I also want the feeling. So I'm gonna intentionally pursue both of them.
15:18Now you're a pretty powerful human being. Right. You're aware over your crap.
15:21You pursue the emotions you want on a daily basis because we get what we most obsess over in our lives. So if they become your obsessive thoughts, you begin to get them. And I found this, man.
15:31I'm going through a relatively stressful time right now. It's sort of tripping me out a little bit. I'm actually pretty blissful right now.
15:38I've actually had a great deal of peace through this season of my life, kinda surprising myself right now. Normally, the normal me, I don't even find peace when it's good.
15:47Yeah. I don't even find peace when I'm making millions and millions and hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah.
15:51And I'm finding peace during a trying time. Oh, this is pretty maybe I've grown a little bit here.
15:57Maybe this stuff I teach actually works. Right? Maybe it works.
16:00And so I would just tell you to become more intentional about what you feel and not just what you wanna accumulate. Do both. Yeah.
16:07And this is also, you know, for me, one of the big reasons why I wanted to have you come speak at WealthCon. Thank you. Because
16:13you bring to the table this emotional, psychological, all these things that a lot of people don't talk about.
16:20Mhmm. Right? Like, I'll I'll come up on stage, and I'll teach tactical things that I think people could do because I think very logically.
16:26Yeah. You do. And to see guys like you explain
16:30why we do what we do, I'm like, dude, we gotta get Ed. So Thank you. You know, first off, I just wanna say I'm I'm appreciative that you're you're coming to speak.
16:38And Can I tell you why I'm coming? Yeah. It's it's you.
16:41So I've been blessed, man. The last ten years, I have an agent, but they don't book my speaking. I'm word-of-mouth speaking.
16:47And I'm fortunate. I've I get hundreds of requests a year, and I do about 80.
16:52And now I'm pretty scrutinizing about who I vet. And one of the things I try to do is I wanna show up in places where I think here's how I term it to my team.
17:02Find me people who's a stock I would buy if they were a stock. So and in your case, I've watched your stuff over time.
17:08I've watched how you've handled I've actually watched how you've grown on camera too. And if you were a stock, I'd buy you because I think you're rising. And so if I can come and sprinkle a little whatever on that and what you're doing in your community, what you're doing here on the show, I wanna be able to do that because I didn't get into the space.
17:25It's happened, but I didn't mean it to. I I I'm not the king. I don't mean it that way.
17:29But, like, I didn't get in this space to be the king. Yeah. Or the I wanted to be the king and queen maker.
17:33I wanted to build a platform big enough that I could say this person's awesome too. This person listen to this person. Almost create a space where I could elevate other people.
17:41And that's what I do on my podcast is I'm real careful of who sits in that seat because I know they're gonna get millions of eyeballs and ears on them. And so when I come to speak somewhere, man, like, you were the main reason that I decided to do it.
17:52And I've also just heard such good things about you from our friends. And then today off camera, some personal stuff you shared with me. Mhmm.
17:58I'm like, this is one of my dudes now. I appreciate that. It's true.
18:01Yeah. No. I really do.
18:02Forgot for anyone who wants to come, it's, uh, October third to the sixth in Vegas. You can go to wealthcon.org
18:07and get your tickets. Actually, too, one thing that I'm also really appreciative of you're doing is the dinner Yep. That we're gonna have with, uh, I think, 10 people only.
18:15I'm excited about that. Yeah. Yeah.
18:16That's cool because
18:18when you go speak to these big crowds, you know, you always leave there wishing you could have connected more personally and intimately with a small group where they can ask you things and feel your spirit, and you don't just get sound bites, but you're in this. Yep. And so that'll be what that dinner will be, you know, affording certain people to have and for me to have.
18:34I learn a lot of these things too, man. When I go, I get fed as much as I feed people at these events. There's always an experience I have that I cherish or I get a letter afterwards or a conversation I have.
18:44So I'm I'm selfish doing it for me too. No. I'm I'm excited for that.
18:48So anybody, um, you know, we have a a new level of ticket that was specifically because Ed was willing to do that. So, uh, I think it's 10 people only. We've already sold a bunch of them, so check it out.
18:59Come join us. Yeah. We'd love it.
19:00Hey, guys. I am so excited to tell you this right now. Here's the deal.
19:03There's a chance now for you to be on this show with me, and I'm gonna do it every single month. Let me tell you how you qualify to get on the show. Every single day on my social media, I run something called a two minute drill.
19:13So if that's Instagram or Facebook or TikTok, if you follow me on those platforms, when I make a post within the first two minutes, so have your notifications turned on. If you just make a comment on my post, every day, we take everybody who's made a comment, and we pick a winner every single day, and that person's gonna have an opportunity to be on this show with me and get coached.
19:29So if you're interested, follow me on social media. When I make a post, make a comment, and eventually, hopefully, you can get selected to win. We're picking somebody every single day, and I'll have those folks on the program.
19:38If you wanna get a text reminder about my post or this program, (714) 916-9144. You can text me at that number, and you'll get daily reminders.
19:47I would love to have you on this show. Follow me on social media and engage in the two minute drill. Max out.
19:53For people that feel like they're wasting their time, they're not getting the results they want, what is one thing that they could be doing right now that would turn things around for them? Well, actually doing one more. So, you know, we we we always talk, you and I both, about self confidence and the fact that building self confidence is the process of keeping the promises you make to yourself.
20:09And if you lack self confidence, you've got a relationship and reputation with yourself that's not very favorable. And so the baseline way to get self confidence is you keep the promises you make to yourself.
20:18But in life, as you know, we don't get like our goal. We get probably 25% of our goals. But we ultimately always get our standards.
20:24Long term, you will get your standards. So the question becomes, what's the standard need to be then? That standard needs to be, you keep the promises you make to yourself and one more.
20:32So if you're gonna do thirty minutes on the treadmill every day, you don't do thirty minutes. You do the thirty minutes, you do one more. You're gonna make 10 contacts in a day.
20:38You don't make 10 contacts in a day. You do the 10 contacts and you make one more. Now what happens is you start stacking up those one more's.
20:44You're gonna tell your tell Lisa you love her every day. You don't just tell her that. You tell her one more time every single day.
20:50So you start stacking up mathematically all of these one more's. You've just done more so you're better, but you've changed the standard of your life. And you've built this superhuman
20:58type self confidence that I not only do what I say I'm gonna do, I do one more than I'm saying I'm gonna do, and that's something almost nobody's willing to do, so I'm gonna get things almost nobody's gonna get. So that's one thing initially everybody can do. Yeah.
21:09So you are one of the sweetest guys on planet Earth, like in real life. Thank you. But also in real life, you're one of the most intense guys, which I really respond to.
21:17So my journey as an entrepreneur was toughening up. I was super weak as a kid, way whiny, like definitely did not push myself and my parents love them to death, but they didn't know how to push me either.
21:30Mhmm. And so I really when I went to college, my mom assumed I was going to fail because I was so profoundly lazy. And so hearing you in the book talk about, like, pushing to the extreme, like, actually use the word extreme multiple times I do.
21:43And that to to expand your capabilities, you have to go into the extreme. Mhmm. Talk to me about that because right now, feel like that's an incredibly unpopular message.
21:51It is. And at the same time, it is true. Thank you.
21:56And by the way, talk about it on my show. So there's a part of the book where I talk about extremity expands capacity.
22:00Until you push something to the extreme, you don't really stretch your capacity to do it. And so for me, I already know you know, at this point in my life, we know what we're we're capable of at one point. So how do we change what we're capable of?
22:12And that's with extremity. That's with pushing it to the extreme. I have another chapter in the book where I call it do one more inconvenience.
22:19This is something that if we could train ourselves to do, our entire lives would change, which is that do the inconvenient or difficult thing in your day or in your life. Human nature is to avoid that.
22:29You talk you call it being lazy, but it's just to avoid the inconvenient. Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich, which I love, he says, on the other type of temporary pain, you are introduced to your other self, and that other self produces another life.
22:43So what we have to change, I think, to some extent is our relationship with pain. I'm willing to pursue pain. I'm willing to pursue discomfort and do the inconvenient thing because on the other side of that, I have extended my capacity.
22:56I've literally changed who I am by getting on the other side of that. And so for me, I am always trying to find the inconvenient thing to do because it's not my nature either. I have to build all these habits like you do because left to my own devices, man, I'm Netflix and pizza and Cheetos.
23:13I really would be. Like, people say to me, man, you just seem so hardcore. People think this about you as well.
23:17No. Actually, I'm not. And so I've had to develop these mindsets, the strategies in the book, the the ways I think, my habits.
23:25There's a whole chapter on how to build habits in the book because I'm not that way. I'm not overly disciplined. But I've learned to sort of change my relationship with pain, even in the gym, but even in a given day.
23:36You know, for me, I chase the thing that's inconvenient because I know on the other side of that is where all the stuff lies that I want. And so that's, you know, this old notion of, well, you know, do get out of your comfort zone. I'm not talking about that.
23:46I'm talking about pursuing the inconvenient in a given day because that's the pathway to your bliss. That's the pathway to your happiness.
23:54Why is that? That's super counterintuitive.
23:57Mhmm. Well, it's the pathway to your bliss and your happiness because when we're doing things that aren't convenient on a very regular basis, there's a part of our spirit, I believe, in our soul that knows we were born to do something great, that knows we were born to grow.
24:10And when we begin to settle in our lives it's like I had a conversation this morning with a friend of mine who's a parent. They're having some parenting issues, and they're like, well, yeah, you grew up with an alcoholic dad, so that was child neglect. And my parents got divorced.
24:22That was child neglect, But I'm not neglecting my kids. This is just this morning, really good friend of mine.
24:26I said, think you should rethink that. And I said, there's an insidious form of neglecting your children. And she goes, well, what is it?
24:33And I said, it's not pursuing your potential in your dreams. That's a form of neglect of your children. You're installing the software in them that it's okay to settle.
24:40Because they're watching you. Because they're watching you. And almost everything in life is caught, not taught.
24:46Mhmm. You don't teach lessons to people, they catch lessons from you. And so you're neglecting that child when you're not pursuing your potential, your bliss, or and or your dreams in your life.
24:56That's a form of neglect. So if it's neglecting a child when we do it, it's a form of self neglect when we do it to ourselves. And so that's why it's counterintuitive not to do inconvenient things.
25:06But the reason it's the pathway to bliss and happiness is intuitively, we know we're neglecting our spirit. We know we're neglecting our soul.
25:12We know we're neglecting our potential when we're not chasing it. And there's no way that we can simultaneously be blissful
25:19and at the same time know that we're somehow treating ourselves less than we're worthy of. I have a growing hypothesis. I'm super curious.
25:25So when I hear people like you talk about this stuff, I'm gonna say 99 times out of a 100, there's been a physical transformation that they've gone through. Mhmm. Obviously, your physique isn't saying, I know what it would take to achieve your physique.
25:37I don't have your physique not because I don't want it, because I don't want to put that level of energy into it. Mhmm. I'm honest with myself about that.
25:43Mhmm. But I have transformed my physique Sure have. And so I know what that takes.
25:49And that, I didn't think a lot about it at the time, but that coincided with me getting better at being an entrepreneur because I realized I saw what you were saying.
26:00That as I did one more, as I pushed myself, as I did the things that were inconvenient, as I reached for the extreme, as I began to model myself after something other people said was crazy. Right?
26:11Oh, that guy's too big. Oh, what are you doing? That's crazy.
26:13Mhmm. But I really got obsessed with it. Yes.
26:17And in doing that and going to the gym and pushing myself and being uncomfortable, remember one time getting trapped under a weight and I was like, fuck, I don't how am I gonna get out of this? And by I've been there. Being in those situations over and over and over Mhmm.
26:29You begin to realize, oh my god, like I actually change as a result of this. Which then lets you believe that you can change your mind in the same way.
26:37Yes. How important do you think it is for people to deal with the body, to to push themselves out of a transformation there?
26:44Well, brother, I love you because we think so similarly.
26:47I Catalyst for change for me all my life has been in my body. And the reason for that is it's something that I actually have some measure of control over. I can't control the external result.
26:56I can't control every time how someone's gonna respond to me, what the market's doing, whatever it might be. I can control, like you and I were talking off camera, what I'm putting in here, what I'm putting in this pie hole every day. I can control my amount of hydration.
27:08I can control the training in my life. And so for me, the catalyst for change, frankly, I was two hundred and twenty one pounds, big, and not fat.
27:16And but I knew the book was coming out, and I was writing the book. And the catalyst for me to get in the most peak state I could do is to do something extreme. And so the extreme thing I did is I said, gonna weigh a hundred and eighty pounds in ninety days.
27:26Woah. And I I got down to one seventy seven. And I did that through, you know, intermittent caloric restriction, changing my cardio, but it was an extreme You were working on the book?
27:35Well, I wasn't. The reason I did it is I knew that if I could transform the internal parts of me that the external results I was gonna produce would be that much more extraordinary. And so I'm It's kind getting the chills.
27:45Yeah. Well, by the way, and you've done it as well. It's not like I'm gonna do this every single, you know, month of my life or even every single year of my life.
27:51But to your point, if you're sitting there and you're thinking, I can't change things. It's like, I don't have the capital. I don't have the relationships.
27:57I don't have the this or the that. You do have a body, and you can change that.
28:01There's things you could do to move it differently, treat it differently, potentially be more kind to it. One thing I'm doing, I'm 51 years old, man. I've never stretched in my life.
28:09I've never done yoga in my life. These joints and tendons are sick of me beating them up. And so one of the reasons I got a little lighter, a little smaller, a little bit less taxing on it, and I'm giving myself the gift of great stretching, you know, great yoga.
28:22I'm doing massage now. I'm doing things to be kinder to my body as well. And this may sound really hokey and cheesy.
28:28I find myself this is a strange thing to word it, but I find myself being a little more gentle with myself. When I'm so aggressive in the gym all the time, you know, there's a there's a transfer of that even in my life where I'm so aggressive and intense on myself, which I love that part of me.
28:44But like, I've had fifty one years of that. And so now I'm like, you know what? I'm a little more kind to my body, a little bit more gentle with it.
28:50And I find myself, you know, when I give a speech, usually I'll beat myself up. I could have done you do the same thing. I should have done this.
28:55I should have done that. Leave a meeting. Leave a podcast.
28:57Why didn't you say this? And I've just beat myself up all my life, just like I do in the gym. Recently, I find as I treat my body differently, I'm treating me differently.
29:06I'm like, that's okay, bro. You got the next one. That wasn't so bad.
29:09I'm sure you still made a difference. I've never said those words to myself in my life because I've always thought, if I let go of this beating myself up, that's part of my recipe, part of my formula. The truth is I've probably been successful in spite of the way I've treated myself, not because of it.
29:23That's interesting. I don't know that I agree. And as you're describing that, I'm so intrigued how you're gonna answer this question.
29:30Do you think that you can do that now
29:33because you have pushed yourself so far so hard, or do you wish that you had gone back and done things the way you're doing them now back then? I wish I had done both. I wish I've had the extremity part of my life where I'm pushing myself to that point of past what I think I'm capable of.
29:50But then I also wish that I wasn't so hard on myself, man. Like, I've spent a lot of years of my life I've never really said this before. I've spent a lot of years of my life, I think, at my own expense.
30:02It makes me emotional to say it. I don't even know why where that's coming from. At my own expense in the service of other people.
30:09And I think I had this delusion that I had to be almost suffering in order to produce bliss for other people.
30:18And some of that software was probably installed to me when I was young with my dad being an alcoholic when I was young. And so, no, brother.
30:25I know I could have pushed myself and been one intense beast and still been a little bit more kind to myself. There's a more beautiful and elegant way to get to the results that I wanted. I totally know what you're saying, that there's different seasons of your life and it's easy to say when you got a couple 100 mil in the bank and all that other stuff like, you know what, I'm gonna stretch now.
30:43I'm gonna get a massage. It's a little bit different than that. So one, I think your insight about
30:48what you learned to do to be the peacemaker in your family, to read your dad, to figure out where he was, and that you were still so generous to him as well as to the rest of your family Mhmm. To take his hand to Mhmm.
31:00And you talk about this in the book, so I highly encourage people to read it. Yeah. But you would take his hand and try to shift his mood and that really trained you to to be somebody that could read people and help change their state, which I think is incredible.
31:12But where the way that I see it is that you've earned you've earned the right, and I'm gonna back up in a second, but you've earned the right to get to that position because you know you can fall back on discipline, the habits, all that stuff.
31:27Where because what I'm thinking is, okay, if I'm 24 and I'm encountering Ed Mylett for the first time Mhmm.
31:35And I I have this glimmer of like, oh, maybe I can do something more with my life Mhmm. That guy really does, and this is projecting because this is where I was, but that guy probably really does need to go hard first. Yep.
31:47And he needs first to learn to be tough, to be a badass. Like for me to transform my physique, I had to imagine my wife being physically assaulted. It was the only way I could show up and put in the work.
31:58You got leverage on yourself. Exactly. Yep.
32:00And if somebody had been at that moment telling me, no no no, you need to be kinder, gentler. It's like, on balance you're right.
32:06And if you're talking to me when I'm in my fifties Mhmm. A 100%. But in the beginning, I wouldn't have been able to be so nuanced.
32:14Mhmm. And so, I guess what I'm saying is,
32:17with what you've done and accomplished, you understand the nuance. You understand how important it is. Yep.
32:22To do all of that and to sacrifice yourself doesn't make sense. I think you're right. I I think we agree.
32:27So I think you I think know yourself. What's your default place? My default position has been all my life to try to earn things.
32:35I I conflated when I was young. The only time I got love from my dad is if I achieved something. If I did something, if I dad, I got an a.
32:42Dad, I hit a home run. You know? Dad, I won the spelling bee.
32:45You know? So I conflated achievement and pushing myself with love. So I know me.
32:50I know that part of me is sort of my default place to go. My default place is to do this. I think you have to know yourself.
32:56I think if your default is to not do those things, then yeah, giving yourself a break and being kinder and gentler is the absolute worst thing that you could do to yourself. In my case, man, it's been a lifetime. I was never a child.
33:07I was never a little boy. That five year old I was literally not a child. My dad would you know this from the book.
33:13Five years old, I got two skills in life, man. One is I can communicate, other one is I can be present and read people.
33:19The present and read people is really simple. I had three sisters and a mom. And when my dad would walk through that front door, at five years old, this beautiful little boy that I was, I would have to look up at this man and quickly figure out, was he drunk or sober?
33:32What was his body language? Like, how was he walking? Was his tie tie?
33:35Was he slurring his words? And if it was drunk, dad, sisters need to get upstairs. Mom, go take a shower.
33:39And then the man of the house, me at that time, would take over and, like you said, grab my dad's hand and change his state. Dad, I hit a home run today. Dad, I got a 96 on my spelling test.
33:48And so I never afforded myself or was afforded to be a boy in my life, to ever really have a bunch of peace or bliss in that life. And my dad got sober, and you know that, and he was my best friend.
33:59But that part of my life was taken from me. I never had it. So I don't have to be I don't have to worry about Ed Mylett's, you know, drive or ambition or any of those other things.
34:09I was I gotta worry about this dude hurting himself, you know, metaphorically, but actually theoretically too in any possible way.
34:17And so you just gotta know yourself. If your default is you'll cool it, then you know what? The worst thing you could do is give yourself a break.
34:23You're wired like me, and you beat yourself to a pulp all the time, and you think you can do that, and that there's some point in your life you'll fray. And there's just a part of your brain, man. There's just there's there's the neural parts of our brain are telling us, man, can you give me a little dopamine?
34:36Can you give me a little hit of something blissful? Can I celebrate this a little bit? Can I be a little bit more kind to myself?
34:41Because if you don't do that, eventually you've trained your brain that you don't wanna do those things.
34:46Yeah. I think learning to love yourself is critical.
34:49I always tell people, in my back pocket, I have ment at all times. Mhmm. Like a Buddhist style detachment.
34:55Yeah. Because at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself when you're by yourself. Success, money, all those things ultimately are irrelevant.
35:03Mhmm. If you hate yourself and you're rich, you're still gonna have a terrible life. You got it.
35:08So I think that's really important. I love people that have that combo. Like, I love people with lot of self confidence, a lot of humility.
35:14Because if people with lot of humility that have no self confidence, you're kinda dragging them through life as a friend. Someone with all their self confidence and no humility, they're gonna burn out. They're gonna make a mistake.
35:21They're not curious. They don't grow. I think that I think even the reason I'm in the personal development space, why why do I believe so much that people can change?
35:29I watched my dad do it. Then Yeah. In my case, I had to learn these things, man, to be like a baseline functioning person.
35:36So my default personality is insecure.
35:41Even today? Even today. Come on.
35:43Very much. Really? Very much.
35:45How is that default? You wake up and you say, I'm a nobody or what? What's the this.
35:50I'm fooling everybody. Really? They they really knew, you know, Pretty some impostor syndrome mixed with just like tremendous I was bullied as a kid.
35:59My dad was an alcoholic. I wasn't a real big guy. The only thing I wasn't good in school the only thing I was good at was sports.
36:06Mhmm. A lot like with you, you were So a great my default is tons of insecurity.
36:13So that's probably never gonna go away, the humility part. So the part that I've worked on really hard is the self confidence part. And so I've got all the stuff in the book on those tips and what have I done to build it.
36:24Because I had to get there just to get to baseline. Mhmm. And then I'm like, this stuff works.
36:28What if I refined it and made it my own and started to build these other strategies and stuff. So the confidence part is a thing I'm always gonna have to work on. Even today, even with all the success and the, you know, the massive show and the big businesses and all the homes and everything that people see.
36:43Yeah. The truth is what else do you need though to feel more confident? I don't need other things.
36:47It's an internal game. I don't need other stuff. In other words, the the stuff is really fleeting and temporary.
36:53So I don't need another, you know I bought an island lately. You know that. Right?
36:57Like, when I bought this island, they didn't give they me didn't make me more confident. It just was something that I've always wanted to be able to do. Uh-huh.
37:03But I I it's not stuff. What needs to happen for me is that I'm most confident when I'm living in my intention, which is to serve, which is to, like, help other people.
37:14When I'm not doing that, Wayne Dyer, when I met him really, really young, told me, you're gonna change the world, Ed Mylett. And I'm like and he then he I'm sure he said this to a lot of people, but he complimented me.
37:24I met him on a beach. We watched the sun come up in Maui.
37:27Yeah. Was running on the lived. Yeah.
37:29I was running on the beach. We were I never met him.
37:32Incredible. So we became a dear friend of mine. But I'm running, you know, you get up before the sun comes up.
37:37I'm running on this. I'd won this incentive trip, and there's this bald dude running towards me with this hairy back. I'll never forget this sweaty hairy back.
37:43And it was so long ago because I had a Sony Walkman on. Wow. And he had one.
37:48And he ran by me. Go, that was Wayne Dyer. And I said, doctor Dyer, you changed my life.
37:53And he had this deep voice like mine and he pulls it and he goes, well, I doubt that. Wow. And he goes, I bet you changed your life.
37:59But he goes, how did I help you? And then he walked towards me and we'd lit I get emotional. Like, God's been so good to me.
38:05We sat on this beach together and watched the Sankma for about an hour and a half. And about an hour into it, he goes, you're gonna change the world. And I'm sure he said this to a lot of people.
38:15And he's like, and it's you're very talented. You're brilliant. You're a good communicator, you know.
38:20And he goes, and that's not the reason why. And he was writing a book at that time called The Power of Intention. That's a great book.
38:26Great book. Incredible book. And he goes, you really intend to help people.
38:30And he goes, all these things with your father and your upbringing and all that, Eddie goes, that's all made you. And he goes, you have such a heart to wanna help people. And he goes, would you do me a favor if we never meet again?
38:41And we ended up meeting many times. I said, yeah. And he said, never link your confidence to your ability, because I know you struggle with your confidence.
38:48If it's predicated on your abilities or your achievements, you're always gonna be chasing it. He goes, but if you link your confidence to your intentions, man, do you have beautiful intentions.
38:59And that is something I knew about me. I know I have a good heart, and I've never forgotten that.
39:04So when I do a podcast or a speech, I just connect to my intent, you know, and it's it's been the one thing that's brought me confidence. Cause if you said, hey, Ed, you gotta be confident because you're great, or you got a house, or you have a plane, I go, yeah, but, yeah, but.
39:16But if you go, you gotta be confident because you have beautiful intentions to help you, but I go,
39:21I might have to list you. You might be right. Yeah.
39:23Yeah. And that's where my confidence comes from. So as an athlete, I gained confidence from results.
39:29Mhmm. From actually getting the result of becoming better. Yeah.
39:33Right. Was That's one way to get it. Where I was not good, and then I put in the effort Yep.
39:37And all the mistakes or the failures of the feedback, what I like to call it, gave me the lessons and taught me how to get better to accomplish the result that I was looking for. Achieve the goal, win the game, or just improve my abilities.
39:48Mhmm. So what I'm hearing you say is link also link confidence to intention.
39:54Mhmm. Some people say link it to the effort. Mhmm.
39:57Right? Like the effort that you show up Mhmm. That you just keep showing up, and others talk about the results.
40:02Yep. Should we be thinking about it? There's two I have a whole have the I call it the holy trilogy in the book of of self confidence.
40:07What is this? But the the confidence trilogy is faith, have confidence. So if you're a person of faith, no matter what you believe in.
40:14It's amazing to me how people that believe in energy, quantum energy, or they believe in they're a Christian like me, and I believe in both by the way. Yeah. But whatever their faith is, that they have it on Sunday, they have it in Bible study, or they have it when they get together with their friends or when they meditate, but somehow when they walk into a business meeting, they they're alone.
40:30So why are you alone then, but you're not alone these other times? So I'm never alone.
40:34So that's number one. Number two is my intention. And third is my associations change my confidence.
40:40But here's the biggie. If you don't have self confidence, here's what you have. You have a really bad reputation with yourself.
40:46Yes. You have built a habit of not keeping the promises you make to yourself. We've all heard this before.
40:50But there's a level. I have a book chapter in the book called one more standard. Here's how I built what I would call almost superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity.
40:59Think about that. Superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity. And it's exactly what you just said.
41:03It's an effort play. If you don't have self confidence, you've never kept the promises you make to yourself. Check that box.
41:09If you have self confidence, you've started to keep the promises you make to yourself. If you wanna have superhuman self confidence, you keep the promises you make to yourself and one more.
41:19So if I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna do 10 reps in the gym, I do one more. Wow. If I'm gonna do forty five minutes on the treadmill, I do one more.
41:25If I wanna make 10 contacts in a day, I do that and one more. If I'm gonna tell my daughter I love her every day, I'm gonna do that and one more. And so that higher standard because in life, we don't get our goals.
41:37We get our standards long term. And so if your standard is one more, starts what starts to happen is you go, I'm willing to do things other people aren't willing to do. And I combine that that I have great faith, great associations, and I intend to help people.
41:51This is a formula to build wonderful self confidence and never lack humility when you have it. So when did you learn this one more mindset?
41:58Was this from your dad early on? Or was this It's from my dad. So we talked about this.
42:02Yeah. You know, a little bit earlier, but my dad had these couple theories he would always say to me. And so one was when he got sober, he gave it one more try.
42:09He was gonna stay sober one day at a time. And then my dad, I'd there's no dreaming in my house. So there's no like my jet you know, I've had I've been blessed.
42:16I have, like, multiple airplanes, right, in my life. My jet was in almost walking distance of my dad's house. He's never been on any of them.
42:23Wow. And I would say to my dad, would say, hey. Let's go go play golf in Maui.
42:27Let's go. There's these great golf courses in the ocean. And my dad would say, well, why would I go all the way to Maui
42:32to play golf with my favorite person, my son, when we can play here in Chino? It's not about there I wanna be with my son. So this my family had none of that stuff.
42:41But my dad knew I was a dreamer.
42:44And my dad would always say, you know, I was one decision away from changing my life the whole time. One choice.
42:51And he'd say, Eddie, you're not as far away from these dreams as you think you are. And I'd say, really, dad? And he goes, no.
42:56You're actually a lot closer than you think. But because you think it's so far away, you behave in accordance with that belief system, and it always keeps it that far away from you. So How do we bring our dreams closer to us?
43:07The first thing is that's a great question. The first thing is you need to believe and know that you're one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one book, one thought, one something away from a completely different life.
43:18And when you know that, when you then you begin to look for them. And so in the second chapter of the book, I have a thing in the book called the matrix. And your matrix is your reticular activating system in your brain.
43:28It's the filter for your entire life. Okay. And this filter reveals to you the world that's in front of you.
43:34Again, example of it is, I just I like what Musk is doing. Mhmm. So I just bought a Tesla.
43:38I drove it here today. I got a Tesla too. Model x or what do got there?
43:41I got a Plaid. Okay. Wow.
43:42I got a Plaid. It's a good one. Nice.
43:44And so I bought this Plaid and all of a sudden, man, everywhere I go, there's Teslas. I'm like, woah.
43:49See it everywhere. In other words, three lanes over other side. Freaking Tesla.
43:53This is crazy. They were always there. Yeah.
43:55Why didn't I see them before? Because they weren't part of my RAS. So the key thing I teach you in the book, how to slow down time and create the matrix of your life when you make the Teslas of your life, those relationships, those meetings, those thoughts, those encounters.
44:08You can very easily do this, but there's a process of repeated visualization you do that's not complicated. It's chapter two of the book, and it will shift you. The other component too, I have a chapter in the book called become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever.
44:21Here's how most people's frameworks. They don't have an RAS program. They're not intentional.
44:25So they keep getting if the things most important to you are your worries, fears, anxieties, problems, bills, you will continue to have people, places, and things revealed to you that confirm it. And if you operate out of your memory and your history, if this is your pattern, your framework, you will continue to find those things.
44:42You need to learn to operate out of your imagination and your dreams. This is a different framework for life. Imagination is different than dreaming.
44:49Imagination causes you to create dreams and thoughts that never happen. When you imagine something, you create a space.
44:56Once you have a thought, this is powerful. When you have a thought, you create a space that did not exist in the world before you had that thought. Wow.
45:03And that space is now exists. And the way your brain works and your life works and the universe works is it tries to furnish that space, whether it's a negative or a positive thought. It starts to hear things it wouldn't hear.
45:13That's why, like, when you're in a crowded room and they say, Lewis. You can hear Lewis auditorily over all the noise. Why?
45:19It's in your RAS. It's why you see the Tesla. Okay?
45:22So if the key thing is being able to operate on this imagination. Why is imagination so important? When you were a child, three, four, five years old, you were probably happier than you are right now.
45:31Why? Two reasons. A, you were closer to God.
45:35You had just been with God more recently. And two, you operated out of your imagination. You didn't operate out of a history and a memory because you didn't have one.
45:43And slowly over time, by the time you were 10, 11, 12 years old, loving people installed their limiting thoughts and beliefs, their software into you. Because most things in life are caught, not taught.
45:54You catch them. Wow. And so now you're starting to operate of history and memory, and you repeat it.
46:00And your RES begins to see the things that reinforce that history and memory. And so you basically have the same life over and over again with a different cast of characters in a different environment with the same emotions.
46:10You have the same emotional home. My dad used to say to me, every call broke till the day I he died and I'm 50 years old.
46:18He could blah blah blah, whatever we're talking about. Last thing he would always say to me, be careful. Be careful.
46:24What the heck? And I go Careful with what? I don't know.
46:27I never knew. But what is that programming from the time you're eight years old? Be careful.
46:30Hey. Go to school. Watch out.
46:31Be careful. So with that, it operated on this fear thing. Right?
46:34Oh, and you be careful. You be careful. But don't make this risk.
46:37Don't take that business decision. Don't start a podcast. Don't get on that stage and speak.
46:40Don't do this. Don't do that. You say that to an already unconfident, insecure person.
46:44He meant it lovingly. By the time I'm 50 worth hundreds of millions of dollars, be careful. He didn't even know he was saying it to me.
46:50But what was he doing? He was installing, god bless him, his limiting beliefs into me as a little boy. So a lot of these things that you believe, you were defenseless when you started to believe them.
47:01They were installed in you by loving people who were around you. Right. And even though your life may look differently, your emotional home, the four, five, six emotions you experience pretty regularly, might be very familiar from your parents, one or two of them.
47:13Mhmm. Right? And so you need to look at your emotional home.
47:15What's your most powerful emotion and the emotion that you wish you could let go of? Love is the most powerful emotion in the world. We will all do everything for love.
47:24If there were more love in the world, the way we treat one another, the way we express our thoughts, you know, you'll do anything for love.
47:32Right? So love is by far my most powerful emotion. It's like like I love you.
47:37Then like when I just saw you, we didn't just like people we didn't just hug for like one second. Yeah. And you do this better than I do.
47:42I hold people. I make it uncomfortable because I just want to hug and love on people. But it's not uncomfortable, bro.
47:47Right. Right. Because the reason you're so successful is you truly do love people.
47:51Yeah. And you come from that place. Mhmm.
47:53And I know we're bigger dudes and like like that's a beautiful expression of a man. A real man is capable of real love. Yeah.
48:01That's a sign of real strength. So that's the most powerful one. And then for me, I know the emotion that I wish I didn't have.
48:07It's chaos.
48:08Really? I How often do you experience chaos?
48:11Because I'm aware of it. But I'm gonna tell you all the time till about five years ago, even when we first met. Why?
48:16I used to I used to even say this, man, operate great under chaos. Man, you should see me operate under chaos. Most people can't handle chaos.
48:22Right. I'm calm under pressure. Well, the reason for that was I grew up in an alcoholic home.
48:28So I'm very familiar with chaos. It became a very familiar emotion. And what we do is we gravitate towards the familiar emotions in our life even if they're not ones that serve us.
48:37And I don't think there's negative or positive emotions. I say this in the book. There just are.
48:41Yes. Fear isn't negative. It fear in abundance is negative.
48:45But some fear, being afraid to do this podcast, to some extent, causes us to prepare. Mhmm. So a dose of it, it it was given to us in the caveman days, so T Rex didn't need us.
48:55Right? Sure. Some fear is good.
48:56Some anxiety is okay. Some frustration, some anger is appropriate. It's to the dosage level.
49:02And we get these four or five of them. For me, some chaos is okay. It's fun.
49:06It's exciting. It's exhilarating. Right?
49:08But getting it every day, every week, every month, all the time. And so how do you get rid of it? Well, one way you get rid of it is just be awareness.
49:15When you have an awareness of a thought, it loses its impact and power over you. It almost becomes like this. I'll do it like, I'm doing it again, I?
49:22I'm doing the chaos thing. Everything's great right now. Yeah.
49:25Yeah. All the houses are paid off. My kids are happy.
49:27Married to a great woman. Got great friends. I'm doing the chaos thing again, aren't I?
49:32You dummy. You're doing it again. And it kinda loses its power over you.
49:35So I have a chapter in the book called One More Emotion and how to take an inventory of the emotions you have. And so, yeah, man.
49:42Mine's definitely love, and the one I don't want is chaos. Because chaos causes me to act out of anger and frustration. It can depress me.
49:48And your intentions are not gonna be as, I guess It's pure. It's a gateway emotion. Mhmm.
49:53Chaos is my gateway emotion to the ones I don't want. Chaos gives me stress. Chaos gives me anger.
49:58Chaos gives me frustration. Chaos gives me fear. So it's a gateway emotion.
50:02What is the result when you create from that space of chaos? It's funny. I have been I have found the ability to externally create something pretty productive.
50:12Right. But stay with me on this. But the process in getting there is destructive.
50:17The process in getting there is not beautiful. And I used to think, in a lot of successful people forcing your way to get the results.
50:24Almost through force. Yeah. You know?
50:26And the and I still do it sometimes. I'm thinking of a situation this week where I did it. And I used to think, well, that's a superpower though, because I've created all these external Look what I made.
50:35Look what I did. Yeah. And I'm doing it because of that.
50:38The truth is I did it in spite of it. You did. And there's a lot of things in our lives that we have linked to our formula, our recipe of success that we hold on to, that you've done in spite of those things, not because of those things.
50:50So you're 51 now, 52, 51. When you were 40 Mhmm. On a scale of one to 10 of that, the self confident happiness joy scale.
51:0010 being like you loved yourself fully. You were peaceful. You had an abundant mindset.
51:05You were had inner peace, you know, joy. One being you hated yourself. You were miserable.
51:11You're in chaos twenty four seven. Where were you on that scale at 40?
51:14Okay. The real answer is probably a three Okay. Of happiness.
51:19Uh-huh. And but if you met me, I could convince you that it was probably an eight.
51:24That you were super happy and you had it together? Probably a three. And since your father passing, where are you now?
51:30Probably a nine. Really? Yeah.
51:32And I no longer feel the need to convince you. Uh-huh. Because I've learned that this has already existed within me.
51:39I didn't have to go get it. I just had to allow myself to experience it. And it took me a long time to treat myself in such a way that I allowed myself to feel these things that have always been there.
51:50I had them when I was a little baby boy. I just lost them along the way in these patterns and programs that were installed in me and my experiences. And I gotta share something with you, brother.
52:01It just dawned on me. I wrote this whole book and two weeks ago, I had this I just this is just for me and you, but everybody can hear it.
52:07Sure. And it I've always tried to disqualify myself. I've always not this.
52:13Is that? It always shocks people, even people that know me really well. They're like, not you.
52:17I have that, but there's no way you have it. Right? Yeah.
52:19You're too confident, too talented, too I don't know that I'm too talented, but I think I can fake it pretty well. And I disqualify myself because, you know, the truth is that maybe for a while, everything that I got that was love when I was a child only came when I achieved something.
52:38Mhmm. So I started to conflate early on in my life recognition and significance with love.
52:43In other words, my dad would love me if I hit the home run. My dad would love me if I get straight a's. And so then when I would feel these things.
52:49But something really amaze and also, like, I'm really big at holding myself. I love to beat myself up with mistakes I've made. I did this.
52:57I did that. I should have done this. I didn't do that.
53:00And I've always thought these mistakes, these weaknesses of mine disqualify me from being happy or helping people.
53:09And this amazing breakthrough. The one decision that changed my family forever is my dad's decision to get sober.
53:15And it changed my family forever. I'm talking to you because my dad made that decision.
53:19Wow. And I've always been so proud of my dad for that. But this is just two weeks ago.
53:2303:15 in the morning, I wake up, I'm crying. And I wake Christiana up, I go, babe, someone helped dad.
53:32And she went, what, honey? I said, someone helped dad. She goes, what do you mean?
53:36I said, babe, I never thought about this. In my dad's darkest worst moment of his life Mhmm. In some coffee shop or some room somewhere,
53:44some precious soul helped my dad. Reached out to him, talked to him. Talked
53:50to him and got him sober. Wow. And I said, babe, that's not the powerful part.
53:54And I have no idea who this person is, but I wonder if they know the difference they made in Max and Bella's, my children's lives, or your life. Wow. Or the millions of people I've helped, that one decision they made.
54:04And she goes, oh my gosh, I said, I never thought about this beautiful human being. Always gave the credit to my dad, but some stranger helped him.
54:11And I said, Babe, this is the bananas part. Do you know what qualified them to help my dad? Their messed up life.
54:19Wow. They were an alcoholic. They were a drug addict.
54:22Little did that person know, the things they were the most ashamed of, the biggest mistakes of their lives, when they were using drugs and drinking and stealing Mhmm. That was qualifying them to change my dad's life.
54:33And all of us, we run around carrying these bags of, I'm not qualified because I made this mistake. I had this bankruptcy. This relationship didn't work.
54:40I did this thing you don't know about. I'm so ashamed of. And that's why you're qualified.
54:43That's the thing that qualifies you. Yeah. The humanness in you.
54:47You are the only human being with your combination of gifts that you were given, whatever they are,
54:53and your experience.
54:54Mhmm. And real human beings help real human beings by being vulnerable and Yeah. Transparent saying, I know where you are.
55:01I've messed up worse. Right. I've made greater mistakes.
55:04I've felt more I know that depression. I know that anxiety. I know that shame.
55:09I know what that feels like. That beautiful soul who was a drug addict and alcoholic, they didn't know all those mistakes they're making were leading them out of their heart.
55:18And they finally got to a point where their intention
55:21was to help my father. Mhmm. In the lowest moment of his life, they changed my dad's life.
55:27Changed mine, and maybe me and you were changing a few today Yeah. Because of that person's mess.
55:32It's crazy. Is that crazy? That's amazing.
55:35I know. I know.
55:36Love them and thank them. That's amazing, man. By the time we're done with this book, we have no excuse to not be at 99 degrees.
55:43And here's why, you'll be associating with me the whole time you read the book. Don't read this book like, ah, I'm reading the words this guy wrote. Pretend I'm talking to you.
55:51And that's one of my favorite parts about, I don't know if it's the first chapter or the foreword, but you say, I'm gonna read it word for word, were not born to be average or ordinary. You were born to do something great with your life. I know this about you.
56:04Yeah. Those are Ed's exact words. Yep.
56:06Ed, how the hell do you know that about me?
56:10How the hell do you know that about the people reading this book? Because I have faith, and my faith informs me that we're all brothers and sisters of the same loving God.
56:20And so whatever DNA I have running through me, you can have running through you. And if one man can do something, another man can do it. And you're born with your own unique skills and and giftedness, just like you described earlier, that are yours, combined with your life experience makes you one of a kind.
56:34Here's one thing I want you to think about, bro. This is gonna blow your mind. It just occurred to me after I wrote the book.
56:39My dad got sober, and that one decision changed my family forever. If my dad doesn't get sober, I'm probably not talking to you.
56:46And then it occurred to me after I wrote the book. I want everyone to hear this. This is super important.
56:50I woke up the other night, and I woke my wife up. I woke Christina. I go, babe, someone helped my dad.
56:57She goes, what, honey? I said, someone helped my dad.
57:02I never thought about it before. Someone helped my dad get sober. She goes, oh my God.
57:08I said, I don't have no idea who they were. It's like an anonymous program. And I said, babe, do you know what qualified them to help my dad?
57:15She goes, no. I go, they were a drunk. Yeah.
57:19They were a mess. They were an alcoholic. Their mess qualified them to help my dad.
57:26This average everyday human being whose life was a shambles at one point helped my dad change his entire life, which helped me, which changed his What you call that? Compounding interest. That's exactly what it is.
57:38It's exactly what it is. Because you
57:40are now the fruits You got of those single,
57:45small actions, those single, one more steps You got that people took. Yes. One drunk helped another drunk.
57:51You got That drunk cleaned up his life. Yep. He inspired you, and now you inspire millions.
57:55And that's exactly right. And what I want everyone to know that, bro, is like, your mess doesn't disqualify you from helping other people, or making your dreams come true. In fact, it's what qualifies you to make something great with your life.
58:06This thing you think that you fear about, you're you're embarrassed by, or not confident about, or ashamed of, that may be the very thing that helps you change other people's lives.
58:16It may be one of your great gifts, and it sure was for my family. So I just had to tell you that because it's not in the book, and it just occurred to me like a week ago.
58:23That's wild. Yeah. That's wild.
58:25Yeah. That's a that's a wild middle of the night thought. It is, man.
58:28Because that's a heavy one. It's a heavy one. It's a big one.
58:30It's a real one. I know we're going heavy today. Whatever.
58:32It's good. Well, Ed, that's what we're here for, man. I mean, the thing is I gotta tell you, Ed, it's an honor to be able to turn the tables on you, because you are one of the world's best interviewers.
58:43You're good too. You you you could be you could be on any broadcast network in the world, and you could just you could kick Rory King's ass. You could you could just absolutely dominate, because you have a way of reading people's body language.
58:56You don't step on people's words. You're able to feel what I'm saying, the empathy that you I feel your empathy right now, it's like your heart is like shining at me, and even when I'm texting you. And so you have that ability, and it's just incredible that you've been able to turn it into words that are easy to digest.
59:16Thank you. That anybody I'm I'm serious. This book is heavy Mhmm.
59:20But I feel like my 10 year old daughter could probably start to chew through this. I hope so.
59:25I think so. And I'm gonna teach her these things, because my 10 year old daughter is a miniature version of me. Oh, yeah.
59:29And she, if if you think I'm doing great things Yeah. Just wait till you see what Charlie does. And you feel the same way about I do.
59:35Max and Bella, right? I do. Is your daughter.
59:37Yeah. There's another thing, and I think you actually, is there a chapter on the on the twenty four hour a day? Yeah.
59:45Was that in Max Out as well? A little touch on it there details. It's one of my favorite things that you've ever talked about because I wanna dive into that Mhmm.
59:52A little bit because it it changed the way that I view life. Me too. Because how do we view life right now?
59:59Twenty four seven, right? Yep. We got twenty four hours in a day, seven days in a week, and usually the work day is what?
1:00:04If you're if you're if you're working an average job, eight, nine hours a day Yeah. Guys that are, you know, entrepreneurs are usually working fourteen, fifteen hours a day.
1:00:14You have learned how to
1:00:16turn one day into three days. That's right. Yep.
1:00:19How did you do that? By the way, I'm just so proud of you. I'm just watching you, man.
1:00:23You're just so good. You just you're gonna change the world, dude.
1:00:26Thank you, Eddie. I told my wife that this morning. So having said that, I'll help you a little bit here.
1:00:32So the idea that there's twenty four hours in a day is stupid, and it's antiquated and dated. So a twenty four hour day was created when there was no electricity, when there was no Internet, when there was no nothing.
1:00:43Yeah. Most people still measure time the same way people did two hundred and fifty years ago. How insane is that?
1:00:48That's wild. Right? And so most human beings are walking around oblivious to the fact that, like, we can compress time frames now.
1:00:54Information is faster. There's actually cars and, like, electricity and lights,
1:00:59and you don't have to send stuff by horse, and there's this thing called email now. And You know what's so funny? I'm sorry to cut you off.
1:01:05We were sitting downtown. We love tacos. I'm a I'm a Yeah.
1:01:08Me too. I'm a connoisseur of tacos. And so anytime we land in SoCal, I Google, you know, whoever's got the best reviews.
1:01:14So we're sitting there eating tacos today, and look up, and I look over my buddy Jason, and I say, how archaic are power lines? Power lines, you go downtown Yep.
1:01:24Anywhere in California Yep. And there's just lines and wood poles everywhere.
1:01:29Mhmm. And we're stuck in these old, old ways that we're just stuck with, and nobody really knows why.
1:01:36I mean, maybe it's expensive to bury them and change them, but as you as you move into these newer communities,
1:01:41I guarantee you some of the houses that you have don't have power lines running And through by the way, it's super interesting you say that because we become so used to seeing them that they become invisible. Yep. And so if you were to ask somebody in Laguna Beach who's got this incredible ocean to look at, you do realize there's power lines blocking your view.
1:01:55They would actually say, I don't see them anymore. We become so oblivious to the dumb things that we do in life that we just unconsciously, like zombies, walk through them.
1:02:04And one of them is the way we manage time. So my days my first day is from 6AM to noon.
1:02:10That's a day. You ever have a morning where you're like, got more done this morning than I get all day or all week? That's because you compress time frames.
1:02:15So my first day is 6AM to noon. That's a day. And in that day, I could have all fun.
1:02:19I could have faith. I could have family. I could have business, but it's a day.
1:02:22I measure the day in that window. What's important about that is around noon, this light bulb, this clock goes off in my head that goes, what did I just get done? What did I do?
1:02:30What do I need to be accountable for? What do I need to redouble my efforts on? What do I need to do more the second day?
1:02:36Second day is noon to 6PM. Some of those days, like Sundays, it's just straight faith and family for me. In But that day, could do contacts, meetings, work it out, you name it, but that's a day.
1:02:46And then the next day is from 6PM to midnight. These days, now I got three days in a day.
1:02:51I got 21 in a week. I got 44 in a month or more. You tell me that you're gonna compete against me when I get forty four days of forty four days, by the way let me do the math again for you.
1:03:0321 days in a week. Right? That's 84, by the way.
1:03:0621 days in a week, I get, and you get seven, and we stack that up over a year, three years, five years, ten years, I'm going to smash you in fun, in happiness, in fitness, in success, in family because I get more days than you.
1:03:23And there's one other thing that happens. Because you treat time more preciously, you've bended time and manipulated it, other people take you more seriously. Yeah.
1:03:31Other people look at you as moving faster, talking faster, more valuable. What there is less of is more valuable. What's precious is more valuable.
1:03:40That's why diamonds are worth more than paper. So most people treat their days like paper instead of diamonds. But if you start having six hour days, all of a sudden time becomes precious.
1:03:49It becomes valuable to you and everybody around you. Your entire life will change. Sorry.
1:03:54My mouth was bad. Your entire life will change when you get twenty one days a week. I promise you.
1:03:58It'll be a completely different existence. And by the way, after, like, about six real months of doing this, you're gonna tell me, man, you know what? About about noon every day, this thing goes off in my head because what did I get done?
1:04:08What do I need to do now? How much fun did I have? Did I make sure I said my prayers?
1:04:12Did I make enough money? And it starts calibrating time completely differently, and you'll never go back to twenty four hours. Ed,
1:04:18I don't know if you realize what you've done, but you've taken something that has been linear for hundreds of years Mhmm. Which is the twenty four hour clock Yep.
1:04:28And you made it three-dimensional. Yeah. I know.
1:04:31You you really did. Now you have these you have these blocks and these bubbles, and you have these areas where you can you can get in, dive in, do more. And you know the movie Groundhog's Day?
1:04:42Yeah. That movie stresses me out so Yeah. So bad because it's it's a reflection of what happens to humans.
1:04:51Middle aged men as they go to start to work, or anybody. You get stuck in Groundhog's Day and you start doing the same thing over and over, and Groundhog's Day is an exaggeration of it, but I think a lot of people do live Groundhog's Day because They do. They're doing the same thing over and over and over again.
1:05:06They do. And they don't find a way to I love the way that you don't make it, okay, 6AM to 12AM, I have to do this. It's no.
1:05:136AM to 12AM is a day for me, and whatever I do in that day Like any other day. It's you're gonna you're gonna flip flop things, move them around. If you wanna go golf from 6AM to 12PM, that's gonna be
1:05:23what you did in that day. Then I do it. And that's Here's the most what's nuts.
1:05:27I just I had to move out of this storage unit. This is gonna date me, like, how old I am, but it's like an old storage unit because I bought that island. I'm like, alright.
1:05:33I'll take all my old stuff and dump it on this island. I had a bunch of Encyclopedia Britannicas in there.
1:05:38And these old encyclopedias, most of your audience won't even know what they are. Google what that is and realize that when I used to try to research something for school, I would have to go to an encyclopedia or drive down to a freaking library, find the book, open the book, write it all down by hand. Now my kids go, how to build a fort?
1:05:56How to do whatever? How does science work? They Google it and have it like that.
1:06:00And I'm gonna measure time the same way now
1:06:02that I did back then. This is so funny you're saying. It's ridiculous.
1:06:06Literally yesterday, we did a video where we bought a bunch of storage units sight unseen, and we got in them, opened them up, and there were, you know, when you buy storage units You never know.
1:06:15You're buying all kinds of wild stuff. And we found a whole volume of you ever heard of what's called the Book of Knowledge? Yes.
1:06:21And it's like volume a, b, c. And And you go in there and I opened one and it's like, here's how tractors work. And then you go through, you know, later in the book and it's like, here's here's how the tides in the ocean work.
1:06:32You used to have to go through page by page by page to find this information. Crazy. And so if that's changed so quickly, if I can go to my phone now and figure out how tractors work in thirty seconds Right.
1:06:44Why can't I do that with time and productivity and my family and my relationships? You can and everything. And the best part about this is the people who are gonna benefit the most are the people who are closest to you.
1:06:56Mhmm. If you're a family man, or you're a single mom, doesn't matter who you are Mhmm. I believe, after going through your book, that if people start to do those one more things, those just that that little inconvenience Yep.
1:07:10That extra rep, whatever it is, that and and here's the thing, Ed.
1:07:16I'm not a big believer. This is why, you know, Andy Frisella, good friend of ours. Yeah.
1:07:20His program, 75 Hard, scares the living shit out of me. K. Because it's a lot at once.
1:07:25Mhmm. And some people need that shock to the system. Yeah.
1:07:28I'm the type of person where I decided that if I wanna feel better, I'm gonna start drinking a little bit more water every day. Yep.
1:07:35And so I started easing into it. Mhmm. And everybody has different personality types.
1:07:39And so what I what I don't want people to think is, if you read this book, don't think I have to implement all 19 chapters at No.
1:07:48Take the principles that you're learning and say, that's one that really resonates with me. I'm gonna implement that one now. Let's talk about mentors for a minute.
1:07:55You mentioned that.
1:07:57How have mentors impacted you on your journey? Uh, John being one of those for you, I assume. Yeah.
1:08:03And, uh, you know, where where do you where do you think that impacts people? If if you're out there listening, you know, the people that are listening to this show,
1:08:11what have mentors done for your life, and what could they do for the people listening and watching? Well, John is one of them, and the idea that I have to live up to, uh, him being there last year, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. In fact, I talked to John Friday because another good friend of mine, John Gordon, was with him, and they had met for the first time and ended up, you know, saying, hey.
1:08:31They're both very good friends of mine and both, you know, connected over that. My mentors the number one thing, John's one of them. And by the way, what the coolest thing is when your mentor moves from mentor to friend, because when they become your friend, then they have way more influence over you.
1:08:48Right? Like, you think about with your kids, like, their teacher's their mentor, and that teacher has tremendous influence over your child.
1:08:55But who do you really worry about as influencing your child? Their friends. Right?
1:08:59And so when you get to that point where you become friends with your mentor, oh my gosh. Can they make an impact on you? That's just remarkable.
1:09:06And I I consider John a friend. He was moved from mentor to friend. My mentors, the number one thing they've done for me in my life is they've believed in me in such a deep way that I've wanted to live up to how they looked at me.
1:09:20I wanted to prove them right. And so the number one thing my mentors have seen my giftedness, seen my potential, seen my capacity, they see me as I could be not as I am.
1:09:31And because they see me as I could be as not as I am, and they've done it enough that I actually wanna work hard enough to live up to prove them right. That's number one. Number two, my mentors have been further down the road that I want to go down, and that's why I selected them as a mentor, and they have directions.
1:09:50They have directions. And the vast majority of those directions, believe it or not, have come from wrong turns they made that they warned me about that I then don't make. So, of course, there's been mentors will say, listen.
1:10:03I did this, this, and this, and that works. And those have been very effective lessons. But other ones have been, hey.
1:10:08Warning. Here's a turn I made that I don't think you need to make, or I see you going down a path I was going down. I can just tell you, that's a dead end road.
1:10:16Turn around now and head this way. And so they've done that for me.
1:10:21They also give me comfort and security. Um, they've helped create, I would call what I would call, like, an emotional stability around me that I'm not alone in this journey.
1:10:32My number one mentor and friend is is is Jesus. You know that. And they and he gives me tremendous comfort to know I just did it last night.
1:10:40I was praying last night. I play on my pray on my knees every night, and we're being oh, you know, I'm just bearing my soul with you today more than I normally would. Like, literally, at the end of my prayer last night, I kinda got some stuff going on.
1:10:49I'm like, hey, Lord. Just I'm giving this to you. I get this overwhelming, like, warmth float over me like, hey.
1:10:55I have you, my son. I love you. I got you.
1:10:58And so that's the ultimate example of that, but it also feels good to be able to call John or Lou and and say, hey.
1:11:05I got this. And they're like, I got your back. It's gonna be okay.
1:11:08There's some comfort to it. Gives me some emotional peace. They've done all of those things, but they have a sense of direction.
1:11:14There's this the Chinese proverb that I always screw up. But, you know, if you wanna know the road ahead, ask those coming back. They have directions.
1:11:21They've seen it. And and the most of these people, including me at this point, I've I've been down a lot of different roads. I can save you time by the mistakes I've made, and I can give you some sense of direction on what's worked for me and what hasn't worked.
1:11:33The best mentors also, um, usually ask me questions and don't make statements, meaning they make me work hard within myself to find the answer by asking the right questions as opposed to just giving me instructions because that's the difference between, you know, feeding somebody and teaching them to fish.
1:11:53My great mentors have made me do the hard work on uncovering the answers and creating the systems and patterns and habits in my life that'll allow me to solve these types of problems when they come up in the future when maybe they won't be present. What what role does faith play in your selection of mentors? Yeah.
1:12:12Uh, it has an it it has it's it's now probably the primary thing. I can't say that every mentor I've had has shared faith because that's not true. I've had fitness mentors who don't share my faith, and I'm like, show me how to get that body.
1:12:25Right? Or my current doctor who's on my show tomorrow. I don't think we share the same faith, but god still made her in her image and likeness to serve me.
1:12:34So it's not a requirement, uh, for me. I mean, I I have the easy answer if you say that, oh, all of them share my faith. That's not true.
1:12:41I have mentors in certain areas of my life that don't share my faith. And I actually I gotta be honest with you.
1:12:47I enjoy having friends around me with different perspectives and points of view. It strengthens my faith. It causes me to question things that I think require questioning to go to the next level.
1:13:03It's actually a really good question. Um, my best friend is not a believer. I'm working on him, but my best friend, his name I call his real name's Kelly, but I call him Richard Cabesa on my social media.
1:13:15You can figure out why I call him that. Love that. Love that guy.
1:13:18And I and I love him, and he lives a better life than most of my believer friends. But, um, he's more of a brother to me. Like, I I love and adore him.
1:13:28And I think over time, things have happened in his life, like, in I think I'm allowed to say this because I love him, but in the last year, he he lost his sister and his brother. And and his mom's ailing.
1:13:41And, uh, I don't wanna be too personal with his life because I love him, but but because I'm so close to him more than a brother, it's now the time that we've started to have these conversations about, well, where'd they go, bro? You know?
1:13:54And what's this life all mean? And now that you're getting near 50, is it all about your Louis Vuitton shoes and your mansion on the ocean and, you know, these other things, and he keeps reaching these conclusions like, brother, it's not.
1:14:08There's gotta be more. And so now we're at that stage where he brings I think we're having those conversations.
1:14:16But so it's not not all of them do share my faith. I think the primary ones, though, I want them to because they understand my point of view and perspective of how I think and what matters to me.
1:14:29And in most cases, if they don't share that same belief system, it's hard to give me the major directions on the major things in my life. But I think you'd be surprised even with John who used to run a church.
1:14:42Think you'd be surprised, you know, if I'm being honest about how unspoken our faith is between the two of us.
1:14:50I mean, it's not that it's never spoken, but it's not like, let's pray together every minute that we're together, nor is faith necessarily the central topic when he and I talk. But I think we both know that's the the play running in the background.
1:15:05But I think people would be surprised that you would think of me. You and John Maxwell must talk about faith all the time. Right?
1:15:10We don't. Now John Gordon and I do. It's just a different friendship.
1:15:15John Gordon and I about everything always comes back to faith. It's just the nature of our relationship. It's just a different dynamic.
1:15:20So did that answer? I think that answers it. Yeah.
1:15:23I I find it,
1:15:25you know, best to live out the way that you want to live. As they say, the old quote is, uh, you know, live right because you might be the only bible than anybody ever reads.
1:15:37So that's I think that's probably the number one thing that's going on with me and Kelly because he's just watched me live my life up close for twenty years.
1:15:47And I think the older and older he gets, he's understanding the narrative going on behind me and why more than when we were younger men. And I think any of you that are people of faith, I think it might surprise you when God will finally use your life at the right time for that person, and it may not be on your time.
1:16:06It it it's I'm finding as I get older, it's like some of my friends, you know, that just never came up. It just never was there and was just great respect and understanding between each other, and now it's starting to as we all get older. So maybe it'll not be on your time, but that might happen on his time.
1:16:25Man, I I know you're gonna love, uh, walking into that room in Naples, and I'll I'll say this, which I don't I don't think I've ever shared this publicly. But since we're on a roll today, I'll I'll share it here. You know, top contractor school for me is it's my ministry, man.
1:16:39It's it's the way that, you know, I'm able to impact people, not just in business, uh, but personally. You know, so often in construction, man, you see, you know, these people in the trades who they're amazing tradespeople.
1:16:52Right? They're amazing tradesmen, tradeswomen. Um, but what they've done is they've built a job with a tax ID number.
1:17:00They haven't they haven't built a company. And our our mission as an organization is to be able to take those people and fill in the gaps and give them freedom, uh, build them a life.
1:17:10And, uh, you know, I just said it to somebody today. I said, you know, people, a lot of times, get into entrepreneurship because they think there's freedom on the other side. And if you don't have the right advice, you don't have the right mentorship, you don't have the right foundation, what you build yourself is just a bigger cage.
1:17:27Yeah. You build yourself 18 different jobs. You don't build yourself any freedom.
1:17:31You end up becoming, you know, a slave to this thing you've built. And by the way, I've done that.
1:17:37I have early in my career, I built businesses that created more bondage, more stress in my life than was reasonable, and it's because I didn't have a mentor.
1:17:47The other thing you create that's not just you you don't just have you. You've created an environment that supports these contractors.
1:17:56So it's beyond you. It's an environment. And winning in life oftentimes is a matter of feeling that you're in business for yourself but not by yourself.
1:18:05And so many people feel like they're in business by themselves. And what you've done is said, no. You're not by yourself.
1:18:11You're in business for yourself, but you are not by yourself. And you've got access to information and resources and you and peers that accelerate and save time and reduce stress and give you access to resources that you otherwise would never have had in your life.
1:18:28And so you're not by yourself. That's a huge thing for small business operators, medium sized business operators, and something that the reason I look old I think one of the reasons I look older, and, Sasha, we need to change the lighting in here today, by the way.
1:18:46Um, the reason that I look older is because I did spend the first ten years of my business career by myself, and, uh, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
1:18:56It was totally unnecessary. I just didn't understand what a mentor could do or coaches could do or mastermind in the sense that the collective mind being bigger than mine on my own, I didn't have any appreciation for any of that till I read Think and Grow Rich.
1:19:14And then, frankly, I'm old enough that this stuff didn't exist on the level that it does now when I was a young entrepreneur. It didn't exist. There just weren't groups like what you've built in this space.
1:19:24The other thing that's cool about what you've done is, I wanna say this to you, is it's not so broad that there's people that one guy's got a dance company and some lady's got a taco truck. And so you're in this space.
1:19:38And so it defines the space you're in, which I think narrows focus and allows the information to be with a higher level of specificity because everyone's operating in the same industries collectively.
1:19:53And that's brilliant of you because even in our coaching program, it's all these different industries. And when it's that broad, the content itself has to remain general and broad.
1:20:06But when you target an industry like you've done, it allows much more specificity and precision.
The Hook

The bait, then the rug-pull.

At 52, with an island, multiple jets, and a nine-figure net worth, Ed Mylett still cannot sit on a beach for more than three days. Not because he is broken — but because he was built in discomfort, and he has come to believe that comfort is not the reward at the end of the hard road. It is a trap set exactly at the edge of your current capacity.

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More from this channel + related breakdowns.

1:36:04
Ed Mylett · Interview

How to Re-Write Your Future: The Only Strategy That Actually Works

A 96-minute mashup of Ed Mylett solo teaching, a remote interview with James Clear, and an in-person interview with Jesse Itzler — all circling one thesis: the gap between where you are and where you want to be is not a knowledge problem, it is a reps and standards problem.

May 2nd
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