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Lewis Howes · YouTube

How to Create a Frequency So Magnetic Your Desires Chase You

David Bayer breaks down the Golden Equation — desire plus nonresistance equals desired result — and the childhood decision hiding underneath every stuck goal.

Posted
yesterday
Duration
Format
Interview
educational
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25.6K
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Big Idea

The argument in one line.

A desire fails to manifest not because it's blocked externally but because the mind attaches a limiting explanation to its absence, and clearing that explanation — not working harder — is what lets the result appear.

Who This Is For

Read if. Skip if.

READ IF YOU ARE…
  • You've hit real external success but still feel an internal sense of not being enough or not being safe.
  • You're between roughly 40 and 60 and the strategy that built your career or identity has started to feel suffocating instead of energizing.
  • You're drawn to manifestation or law-of-attraction ideas but want a mechanism, not just affirmations.
  • You're in recovery from addiction, or supporting someone who is, and want a root-cause framework beyond willpower.
  • You want a practical way to tell the difference between pushing through a real obstacle and resisting a desire you're afraid to have.
SKIP IF…
  • You want tactical business or marketing advice — this is entirely inner-work and belief-system focused.
  • You're looking for scientific or peer-reviewed backing — the framework is drawn from personal experience, 12-step recovery, and spiritual teachings, not clinical research.
TL;DR

The full version, fast.

David Bayer's Golden Equation says desire plus nonresistance equals desired result — the moment you want something, your brain also registers its absence and invents a limiting explanation for why you don't have it yet, and that explanation, not the wanting, is what blocks the outcome. Most people carry two core patterns from childhood: a scarcity belief about money and a deeper 'core program,' usually a variant of not feeling safe or not being enough, that becomes the compensating personality they build their whole identity around. Around age 40 to 60 that same compensation strategy starts to suffocate rather than serve, forcing a reckoning Bayer calls the core program surfacing. His practical tools are noticing whether you're in a primal state (fear-driven) or a powerful state (calm, connected) and running the 'decision matrix' — treating beliefs as decisions you made as a kid that can be consciously remade with new evidence.

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Voices

Who's talking.

00:47guestDavid Bayer
00:00hostLewis Howes
Chapters

Where the time goes.

00:00 – 01:16

01 · Intro

Cold open states the Golden Equation, then Lewis introduces David Bayer as an entrepreneur and author who teaches people to raise their frequency.

01:16 – 03:56

02 · 3 Steps to Abundance

Bayer's root-cause fix for feeling stuck: get into personal growth, surround yourself with abundance-minded people, and audit your inherited beliefs about money.

03:56 – 07:35

03 · The Core Childhood Trauma

The 'money was ___' and 'I never felt ___' prompts surface the two dominant inherited programs — scarcity and (for both Bayer and Howes) not feeling safe.

07:35 – 13:36

04 · Wound Into Superpower

Bayer traces 'there's something wrong with me' from his gifted-program childhood through a results-driven father, addiction, and unexplained health issues, framing it as a psychocybernetic loop.

13:36 – 15:31

05 · Success Won't Cure Insecurities

Bayer confirms that reaching a big financial or career goal doesn't heal the underlying wound — many high achievers arrive and find an empty hole.

15:31 – 22:25

06 · The Manifesting Formula

Full explanation of the Golden Equation using Bayer's own podcast as a case study: withdrawing resistance (obsessive attention on underperformance) let the show take off within ninety days.

22:25 – 34:44

07 · Primal vs. Powerful States

The two nervous-system states framework — primal (fear-driven) versus powerful (calm, connected) — and why only the powerful state produces the outcomes people actually want.

34:44 – 38:21

08 · The Hustle Culture Myth

Bayer names the 'bad equation' — desire plus hustle and sacrifice equals result — as a widespread but costly substitute for the real formula.

38:21 – 43:08

09 · The Midlife Core Program

Between roughly 40 and 60, the exact strategy that produced early success starts to suffocate people — Bayer frames this as the core program finally surfacing and requiring surrender rather than more effort.

43:08 – 51:58

10 · Finding a Higher Power

Bayer's path from atheism to a personal relationship with God via an Ayahuasca ceremony, sleepless nights, and a spontaneous journaling practice he calls communion journaling.

51:58 – 56:24

11 · Root Cause of Addiction

Bayer names unresolved emotional distress as the true root of all addiction, and explains why the 12 steps work by targeting that distress rather than the specific substance or behavior.

56:24 – 1:08:02

12 · Finding Your True Purpose

Applying the Golden Equation to purpose itself, plus the origin story of Bayer's Whole Human Network and his view that healed individuals are the precondition for systemic change.

1:08:02 – 1:11:15

13 · Overcoming Time Scarcity

A compounding-interest thought experiment and a reframe from 'how much time do I have left' to 'what creates timing' — alignment and calibration rather than raw hours.

1:11:15 – 1:13:35

14 · The Decision Matrix

The core process from Bayer's book 'A Changed Mind': beliefs are decisions made as a kid, and can be consciously replaced by choosing a new decision and gathering evidence for it.

1:13:35 – 1:16:17

15 · David's Three Truths

Closing lightning round: Bayer's three truths to leave behind, and his definition of greatness as becoming who you came here to be.

Atomic Insights

Lines worth screenshotting.

  • The moment you have a desire, your brain also registers the absence of it and manufactures an explanation for that absence — that explanation is the actual obstacle, not the desire itself.
  • About 70% of people, when asked to complete 'when I was growing up, money was ___,' answer 'scarce' — making scarcity the dominant inherited money belief.
  • A person's personality is largely a compensation mechanism built around an early childhood wound, usually a variant of 'I'm not safe' or 'I'm not enough.'
  • Success does not cure the underlying wound — high achievers who finally hit their goal often describe an empty hole where they expected fulfillment.
  • Beliefs are not permanent truths, they are unconscious decisions made in childhood, which means they can be identified and consciously remade as an adult.
  • There are only two states of being — primal (fight-or-flight, feels bad) and powerful (parasympathetic, feels good) — and every creative or aligned action comes from the powerful state.
  • What determines your state isn't the experience itself, it's the meaning you assign to it — the same event can trigger either state depending on the thought attached to it.
  • Withdrawing attention from a struggling goal, rather than pushing harder, is what let Bayer's podcast take off within ninety days of him stopping obsessing over its underperformance.
  • Between roughly ages 40 and 60, the exact compensating strategy that produced someone's early success typically becomes the thing suffocating them — Bayer calls this the core program surfacing.
  • The technically true but misleading 'bad equation' many high performers run on is desire plus hustle and sacrifice equals result — which trades health and relationships for an outcome that was available without the cost.
  • Time scarcity is really a mindset problem — the more useful question is not how much time is left but what creates timing, meaning alignment and calibration rather than raw hours.
  • In Bayer's Decision Matrix, you identify a limiting belief, consciously choose the opposite belief, then deliberately search your own memory for evidence that supports the new belief instead of the old one.
  • The root cause Bayer identifies behind all addiction is unresolved emotional distress, not the substance or behavior itself — the 12 steps work by addressing that distress, not by targeting the specific compulsion.
  • Bayer's own turning point in sobriety came from acknowledging he had a problem he could not solve on his own, not from willpower or trying harder to quit.
Takeaway

Your stuck goal isn't blocked, it's resisted.

WHAT TO LEARN

What keeps a genuine desire from showing up is rarely lack of effort — it's the childhood-built explanation the mind attaches to not having it yet, and that explanation can be identified and consciously replaced.

023 Steps to Abundance
  • Getting unstuck starts with treating personal growth as a real practice — reading, attending events, and finding tools that work for you — not a one-time fix.
  • It's counterintuitive but effective to deliberately spend time around people who are focused on abundance, the same way you'd hang out with yogis to get better at yoga.
03The Core Childhood Trauma
  • Complete the sentence 'when I was growing up, money was ___' honestly — the answer usually reveals an inherited belief still driving your financial decisions.
  • About 70% of people answer 'scarce,' which explains why so few people end up controlling most of the world's wealth despite roughly equal opportunity.
04Wound Into Superpower
  • A childhood pattern like 'don't make a mistake' or 'I'm never doing it right' can produce a lifelong feeling of unsafety even without physical or sexual abuse present.
  • The wound and the resulting personality compensation can also show up physically — unexplained health issues can be a body-level expression of the same core belief.
  • Once transformed, an original wound can become a genuine strength — the goal isn't erasing the sensitivity, it's changing what it's built into.
05Success Won't Cure Insecurities
  • High achievers who finally hit a long-chased goal often describe an empty hole rather than fulfillment — success and self-worth are separate projects.
  • Redefine success away from bank-account size and toward authenticity, vulnerability, and service — the definition you're chasing determines whether arrival ever feels like enough.
06The Manifesting Formula
  • When a goal underperforms, ask what explanation you've attached to its absence — 'not enough time,' 'I'm not good enough,' 'it's just hard' — since that explanation is the resistance.
  • Withdrawing obsessive attention from an underperforming goal, rather than fixing harder, can be the actual unlock — redirect focus and revisit later.
  • Hold the desire with real intensity while staying detached from exactly when or how it arrives — obsession about the goal and attachment to a timeline are two different things.
07Primal vs. Powerful States
  • Learn to name your current state — primal (stress, anxiety, overwhelm) or powerful (joy, curiosity, calm) — as a simple daily practice.
  • What decides your state is the meaning assigned to an event, not the event itself, so interrogating the thought is more useful than trying to change the situation.
  • Every outcome you actually want gets produced from a powerful state — chasing goals from a primal state tends to reinforce the primal state instead.
08The Hustle Culture Myth
  • Notice when 'desire plus hustle and sacrifice equals result' has quietly replaced the real goal — sacrificing health and relationships isn't a prerequisite for success.
  • Time scarcity ('there's never enough time') is itself a primal-state symptom worth questioning rather than a fixed fact about your schedule.
09The Midlife Core Program
  • If a strategy that used to work for you (people-pleasing, control, over-achievement) starts to feel suffocating in your 40s-60s, treat it as a signal to evolve rather than a breakdown.
  • The way through this stage is surrender to something beyond willpower, not intensifying the same strategy that stopped working.
10Finding a Higher Power
  • A regular reflective practice — journaling, gratitude, prayer — can be built gradually and doesn't require a dramatic starting point.
  • Distinguish desires that come from genuine internal conviction from desires you've merely adopted from outside pressure — the difference becomes easier to feel with practice.
11Root Cause of Addiction
  • Look past the specific compulsive behavior (drinking, scrolling, overworking) to the unresolved emotional distress underneath it — that's the actual thing to treat.
  • The turning point in recovery is typically acknowledging you can't solve the problem through willpower alone, not trying harder to control the behavior.
12Finding Your True Purpose
  • Apply the same formula to purpose as to any other desire: hold the desire to know your purpose, and notice the resistance ('what if I never find it') rather than forcing an answer.
  • When you feel stuck between pushing through an obstacle and pivoting, step away from the problem first — clarity tends to arrive in the space you create, not in the grinding.
13Overcoming Time Scarcity
  • Reframe 'how much time do I have left' into 'what creates timing' — alignment, calibration, and the right opportunity showing up — since that reframe is more actionable than counting years.
  • A concrete compounding-interest exercise can make long time horizons feel motivating instead of threatening — model out what consistent effort actually produces decades out.
14The Decision Matrix
  • Treat limiting beliefs as decisions made in childhood, not permanent truths — that framing alone makes them easier to question.
  • To change a belief, explicitly state its opposite as a new decision, then go looking for real memories that support the new belief rather than the old one.
15David's Three Truths
  • Hold onto a basic trust that the future is fundamentally good, even without evidence yet — it changes how you interpret setbacks along the way.
  • Define greatness for yourself as becoming who you actually are, not as hitting an external benchmark someone else set.
Glossary

Terms worth knowing.

Golden Equation
Bayer's core formula: desire plus nonresistance equals desired result. It claims any consistently held desire will manifest once psychological and emotional resistance to its absence is removed.
Nonresistance
A state of not attaching fearful or limiting explanations to the current absence of something you want, rather than suppressing the desire itself.
Core Program
A deep, largely universal childhood belief (commonly 'I'm not safe' or 'I'm not enough') that a person's adult personality forms around as a compensation strategy.
Primal State
A fear-driven nervous-system state (stress, anxiety, anger, overwhelm) governed by the sympathetic nervous system, in which resistance dominates and desired outcomes can't be produced.
Powerful State
A calm, connected nervous-system state (joy, curiosity, peace) governed by the parasympathetic nervous system, from which intuition, inspiration, and manifestation are possible.
Decision Matrix
A process from Bayer's book 'A Changed Mind' for identifying a limiting belief, consciously choosing its opposite as a new decision, and gathering personal evidence to support the new belief.
Solution Frequency
Bayer's term for orienting attention toward things in your life that are already working, as a way to shift out of a primal state and access new ideas for unresolved problems.
Communion Journaling
A personal practice Bayer developed of writing a gratitude and prayer letter to a higher power each morning, used to build a felt sense of trust before making requests.
Whole Human Framework
A 12-step-inspired personal growth structure Bayer created, which integrates his Golden Equation and Core Program concepts into a sequential healing process.
Resources

Things they pointed at.

00:00bookA Changed Mind by David Bayer
1:11:40linkwholehuman.com/greatness — free limiting belief assessment ↗
53:20bookAwakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das
53:40bookKingdom Principles by Myles Munroe
54:00bookThink and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
1:03:20bookThe Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn
1:02:00bookAutobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda
56:24productWhole Human Network
Quotables

Lines you could clip.

00:05
“Desire plus nonresistance equals desired result.”
the whole episode's thesis in one line, delivered cold before any context→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
35:10
“It's desire plus hustle and grind equals desired result... desire plus sacrifice your health and relationships for success equals desired result.”
names the hustle-culture trap high performers will recognize instantly→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
38:40
“The exact strategy that made you successful starts to suffocate you.”
sharp, quotable description of the midlife core program→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
39:10
“Beliefs are decisions.”
two-word reframe that demystifies the whole belief-change process→ TikTok hook↗ Tweet quote
53:20
“The root cause of all addiction is unresolved emotional distress.”
blunt, memorable causal claim relevant far beyond substance addiction→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
58:40
“What you make matter becomes matter.”
compact mentor-quote, works as a standalone caption→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
1:09:40
“Timing is a measurement of alignment, calibration... time is a measurement of change.”
reframes a universal anxiety (running out of time) into something actionable→ IG reel cold open↗ Tweet quote
1:14:20
“Greatness is becoming who you came here to be, living your authentic self.”
clean closing-line definition, works as an episode-ending caption→ newsletter pull-quote↗ Tweet quote
Topic Map

Where the conversation goes.

00:00 – 07:35denseRoot causes of feeling stuck and scarcity mindset
07:35 – 15:31denseChildhood wounds and the compensation-personality model
15:31 – 34:44denseThe Golden Equation and how desire actually manifests
34:44 – 43:08Hustle culture critique and the midlife core program
43:08 – 56:24denseSpirituality, higher power, and personal recovery story
56:24 – 1:08:02Purpose, pivoting, and the Whole Human vision
1:08:02 – 1:13:35Time, longevity, and the Decision Matrix
1:13:35 – 1:16:17sparseClosing reflection and three truths
The Script

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metaphoranalogystory
00:00Desire plus nonresistance equals desired result.
00:05So whatever your desire is, if if you wanna make more money, if you wanna heal your chronic health condition, if you wanna find your soul mate, it doesn't matter what it is. You can become psychologically and emotionally non resistant to the desire 100% of the time consistently and predictably, you will crystallize that desire into your reality.
00:22He's an entrepreneur, best selling author, and an expert teaching people how to unlock their potential by helping them raise their frequency. Please welcome David Bayer. The moment you have a desire, two things enter your awareness.
00:35Number one is, of course, the thing that you want, But number two is the absence of it. And the brain will give a meaning to the absence of it.
00:43Well, it's not there because there's not enough time. Well, it's not there because I'm not good enough. Well, it's not there because money is hard to make.
00:48If you can identify what resistance is and do the inner work to transform it, you now become completely aligned and congruent with the outcome itself. What is the program or the belief that most human beings live by today? Well, I think there are two.
01:02So
01:07Welcome back, everyone, to the school of greatness. Very excited about our guests. We have the inspiring David Bayer in the house.
01:13Good to see you, man. Good to see you. Thanks for having me.
01:14Welcome to the show. Um, if someone watching or listening right now is feeling stuck in their life, they're feeling like they have a a big scarcity wounds.
01:23They feel like they're just low energy. They're maybe anxiety consistently in their life. What would you say are three actionable steps they could take right now to get out of that scarcity state and feeling more abundant?
01:37I mean, I think the first thing at a root cause level is to get into personal growth. Right? Like, really start to understand the dynamics of mindset, how you think, your belief systems.
01:47Because that malaise and that anxiety and that depression is it's being driven by one thing, one thing only, which is your thoughts. Right?
01:55Your thoughts create your emotions. Your emotions produce your results.
02:00Uh, and so, um, you know, if if somebody is feeling stuck in their life, they've they've gotta get into personal growth. Right?
02:08And and that, you know, that's a that's a process. You normally start with the books, and you become a card carrying member of personal growth, and then you start going to events, and you find the tools that work for you.
02:20You start living in a community of people who are focused on their personal growth, but that's really important. I think that's the second thing too is it's counterintuitive, but, you know, if if you want to become abundant and you want to start feeling better, you have to hang out with abundant people or people at least focused on abundance and people who are committed to feeling better.
02:38Right? So number one is understand, you know, get into personal growth. Two is surround yourself with other other people who are who are headed in the same direction.
02:44It's it's really common sense. I think when we look at any other area of our life, it's like if I wanna get good at yoga, I go to the yoga studio and I hang out with yogis.
02:53If I wanna get good at, you know, recovery, which was part of my story, I wanna get sober, you start going to 12 step meetings and you hang out with other people who are trying to get sober. But for the most part, we don't really think about that in terms of our emotional states. And frankly, it's not as easy.
03:09It's like, you know, there's no personal development store that you walk into. Right. Right?
03:13But but we are seeing more and more emergent communities. Your communities that you've built, community that that I've built. Right?
03:20So I would say that's the second thing.
03:24And then the third thing, is really related to getting into personal growth, is just begin to audit your belief systems. Mhmm. Because you are creating your reality.
03:34We are creating our reality. We create through the mechanism of our habit of thought, our habit of emotion, and those are driven by our beliefs.
03:41Right? The people call those, you know, programs, traumas.
03:45Um, and so if you wanna change your life, if you wanna start moving out of scarcity into abundance, you gotta take a look at the programs that are driving those emotional states and and and creating that reality temporarily in your life. What is the program or the belief that most human beings live by today? Well, I think there are two.
04:03So let's let's let's talk about the you you asked about abundance. I think I think it's important for someone to answer this question, not overthink it, but it's a really simple way of doing an audit or an inventory, and that is is to answer the question, when I was growing up, money was blank.
04:24Right? When I was growing up, money was blank. Do you anything come to mind for you?
04:29I know you've obviously changed your money consciousness, but when you were growing up, money was what?
04:33Scary to me. Yeah. Was what?
04:35Scary. Scary. Yeah.
04:36Right? Money. Understand it.
04:38It was scary. It seemed like it was better than me.
04:42Yeah. Yeah. A lot of the It caused tension in the family.
04:45Yeah. Like, it caused stress. Right.
04:47All those things. So if that's what money is Uh-huh. With powerful subconscious levels, your entire system is going to keep you away from money.
04:54Yeah. Right? About 70% of people who just heard that question answered scarce.
05:00Mhmm. So it's the number one answer. And so for for most people, when they were growing up, money was scarce, which is an interesting way to complete the sentence because we don't use scarce a lot in our day to day language.
05:12Mhmm. But Unless it's like, uh, there's no food. Correct.
05:15Yeah. Yeah. Correct.
05:16Food scarcity. But that's I mean, I've asked that question to tens of thousands of people, whether it's online, offline, speaking events, um, and scarce is far and away the most common response that people have, which Around money.
05:29Around money. Yeah. Which explains why we see a handful of people with all of the money in the world and most people are without.
05:36Because if your beliefs are creating your reality, that would just make sense. You asked for the belief that most people have. The Belief of the program.
05:45Belief of the program. And so it varies. Right?
05:47Scarcity is a big one. Um, I would also offer that another really powerful program, uh, that that does vary from person to person, although we see about 18 to 20.
05:57It's called the core program. It's really your core trauma, and it's in in fact, your personality is a compensation mechanism for this, uh, early trauma.
06:07You actually have become who you are as a way to cope with this Trauma. Original trauma. Yeah.
06:12Um, and that is to, uh, answer the question, when I was growing up, I never felt blank. Mhmm. Right?
06:18When I was growing up, never felt blank. So for example, my answer is safe. Never felt safe.
06:23When I was growing up, I never felt safe, which is interesting. I mean, I grew up in an upper middle class Orange County family. My parents were not physically abusive, sexually abusive.
06:30I I didn't experience any type of physical or sexual abuse growing up. But there was this sort of constant of, like, don't make a mistake. Like, don't do it wrong.
06:39My mom never felt like she was good enough. And so that created this emotional climate where I never felt safe.
06:46Right? I always felt like I was gonna make a mistake or that I was never good enough. Right?
06:50So so so that, those two, right, really drive a lot of human behavior and a lot of what we create in our reality. Yeah.
06:59I think that was probably if I was going to answer that question, it'd probably be the same for me as well. Say When I was growing up, I never felt safe. Yeah.
07:05Yeah. Safe or maybe maybe, like, safe or seen or supported, but I think safe is the core wound. Yeah.
07:11And it is for a lot of people. Now how that then compensates into our personality varies. So someone might be a people pleaser.
07:18Yep. Uh, another person might chase success. Mhmm.
07:21Another person, um, uh, may actually just be living in depression or anxiety Mhmm. As a result of not feeling safe.
07:29Or all of them. Or all of them. Right.
07:31Or all of them. Yeah. And and so and this actually isn't a problem.
07:35You know, I'm what we have seen is that whatever happened in terms of the original wound, uh, once transformed becomes your superpower and your gift.
07:45Right? So Give give me an example. Yeah.
07:48So part of my core program is that there's something wrong with me. Mhmm.
07:55Um, that's how I felt when I was growing up. Um, I remember when I was in before fifth grade when my parents moved me into this sort of gifted and talented education program with the other nerds.
08:07Like, I always felt like I didn't belong in the with in the regular classroom. Um, I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I also grew up with a dad who was, you know, was the best dad he could be.
08:18And according to a lot of measuring sticks, a really good dad. My dad was an attorney. He was a super smart, critical thinker.
08:25We would describe him today as not having a tremendous amount of emotional intelligence. Mhmm. And so he was a great problem finder.
08:33But when you're on the receiving end of that, you you sort of experience like, I'm never doing it right. Mhmm. There's always a better way to do it.
08:39Yeah. There's something wrong with me. So I I grew up with There's not much affection or there's Right.
08:43It's more results driven. Results driven. Yeah.
08:45It's a great way to describe it. So so part of my core makeup was there's something wrong with me. And Did he say it out loud or was it more just an internal feeling?
08:56It was it was an internal feeling. I didn't have a self awareness until probably my early thirties when, you know, I was running a venture backed technology company.
09:08I was chasing success. I was like, know, everybody expected me to be really successful because I was a bright kid, and I and I and I I felt like I needed to do that in order to be loved. So, like, I was always, you know, kinda good, uh, at at at my career.
09:22But as as that overdeveloped itself within me, um, and as I continued to not realize that below the surface there were these wounds that needed to be healed, I was dealing with it through drug abuse, alcoholism, uh, sex addiction.
09:39And so in my early thirties, when I hit my bottom and I got into recovery, I started becoming aware that, wow, in in in all these different areas of my life, the observation that I'm making subconsciously is there's something wrong with me.
09:54Mhmm. So I started becoming aware of it in my early thirties. And then what was also interesting was, um, in my late thirties, I ended up getting a a variety of, like, odd health challenges.
10:07I think it was in 2016 I ended up discovering I had really high levels of mercury from an all fish diet. And then I started getting mold and mold exposure and, like, all these things.
10:17And my reaction to these health challenges was there's something wrong with me. Mhmm.
10:22So there's something wrong with me was manifesting
10:24into my body. Mhmm. And you were you were reinforcing it and and experiencing it by finding evidence Correct.
10:32As well. Yeah.
10:35That's described as a a psychocybernetic loop. Right? It's like you you have a belief system, and so that's what your brain focuses on.
10:41Right? There's that part of the brain in particular activating system. You find evidence for it.
10:44You ignore all evidence for it and just continues to build momentum. Yeah. So, um, how did that transform into my gift, right, was the question.
10:52And as I've done personal growth work and healing work, I have come to realize there's not only nothing wrong with me, but that I'm really amazing just the way that I am, that I'm loved by a power greater than myself Mhmm.
11:14That there's actually not only nothing wrong with me, but there's nothing wrong with anything that happens in my life. All of it is really designed for my greatest growth, my greatest prosperity, and my greatest evolution. And so I sort of transformed this idea that there's something wrong with me to I can accept myself for who I am, and I trust life.
11:36Right? So I was living in this consistent fear that I wasn't good enough. But as I was forced to confront that, it became the resistance training for a development of an unshakable faith that's been building inside of me.
11:50Faith in myself, faith in my higher power, faith in life. Mhmm.
11:53And I think that's one of the things that I came here to learn. Like, I'm I'm a big believer that we sort of choose what our, uh, outcome is as we come in.
12:01And and and we're we're born to parents who will set us up for that journey. Yep. There are experiences that are almost predestines in our life that occur.
12:11I I very much see it as a resistance training module Yeah. Yeah.
12:14That we go through in in order to become the opposite of the environment that we were born into in these original core programs. Right? That so we we we're born into the contraction, which some people might describe as the shadow side, and, uh, and at some point, it becomes unbearable.
12:28Yes. And we start seeking a solution to it, and we transform that shadow into what some people might describe as the light, is the expanse of energy, and then we ultimately become who we came here to become. Yes.
12:39Or we perish. Or we don't take the the call to adventure. Correct.
12:44Correct. We go on the journey. We don't do the healing work.
12:46We go darker into whatever the addictive abuse it is that we're into Correct. And we lose ourselves.
12:54Correct. Which is also okay because we get to the end of this life and we reflect upon it and we learn from that experience which then motivates a desire for the next life and we play the game again.
13:06Right? Hopefully. Yeah.
13:08Hopefully. But but it would be it would be it would be nice, That's you kind of like playing Super Mario Brothers and having to do the same level over and over and over again. Yeah.
13:14It would be nice to progress. Mhmm. And we have more access than ever before to this progression technology.
13:20Right? Because I think about my parents' generation, mean, I they didn't really have mean, maybe someone could stumble into a Jim Rohn seminar or, you know, find some new thought movement book, right?
13:30And there are those folks and you see that their kids have been raised fairly well versus most of us. But I think that's what's so amazing about, you know, what what you're doing and the technology that's available and social media and YouTube and all of these things is that consciousness and and and the laws by which consciousness functions and how this game works are more available to us than ever before.
13:50Yeah. And that is a part of this awakening that we're seeing, which is occurring simultaneously to this massive breakdown of the old system. Right?
13:57These two things are happening simultaneously Mhmm. Which makes this a really exciting time to be alive.
14:02100%. Yeah. 100%.
14:04You know, I think a lot of people can resonate with what you shared around being really good at accomplishing success, but not feeling good at loving yourself. Do you believe that success is enough for someone to overcome their wounds, their traumas, their insecurities to actually love themselves?
14:22Well Like, making the money, accomplishing the big dream Yeah. No. No.
14:25Clearly Is that enough? No. Clearly, the answer is no.
14:28And we you know, from a coaching perspective, you know, those are the huddled masses that end up in our seminars. Right?
14:34Are are you know, a segment of them are very successful people. High achievers. Right.
14:39Yeah. Right. And that'll really mess with your head because when you when you think that that's actually the solution and then you get there and it's not.
14:46You're like, I just spent twenty years chasing this thing Yes. And I still have an empty hole inside. Correct.
14:52It's I mean, one must imagine it's a terrifying moment. Right? Horrific.
14:56Yeah. It's like the worst feeling. Right?
14:58Yeah. Right. And so,
15:00um, and there's an opportunity, which is a lot of what you do to, like, even slow down for a second and go like, well, wait. Well, what are what are we even talking about with success? What is success?
15:09Right? What is greatness? Um, because there's a good portion of the world that is, you know, measuring it by how much money is in your bank account still.
15:16But but I think we would talk about it in a in a language of, like, you know, being authentic Mhmm. Being vulnerable, being in the service of others, um, being willing to do the uncomfortable healing work that allows who you truly are to emerge.
15:30Right? Like, that that's perhaps the best definition of greatness is like you actually become who you came here to become.
15:36Mhmm. And the beautiful thing is it's not about going out there and trying to figure out how to kludge together who you were meant to become. It's all here.
15:42It's all there. Right? Which you know, there's there's a a distinction that we teach, um, that I'm so grateful for because, you know, having been in personal growth and healing for the last, I don't know, fifteen years, um, and and doing all the stuff, reading the books, going to the seminars.
16:03You know, I I remember walking in the Landmark Forum the first day that I did that and going to Tony's events and, you know, then getting into meditation and breath work and, you know, dragging my poor wife who was my girlfriend at that time to India because I thought, well, maybe, you know, some monks can solve my problem for me or doing the Ayahuasca or the psilocybin or the the therapeutically facilitated MDMA.
16:25Like, whole thing, all the stuff. Yeah. Right?
16:27The stuff. What I became aware of was a really simple equation for me, and this is what we teach, that distills down all of personal growth and and success principles in in into one formula, which is desire plus nonresistance equals desired result.
16:47So whatever your desire is, if if you wanna make more money, if you wanna heal your chronic health condition, if you wanna find your soulmate, if you wanna have more intimacy in the relationship that you're actually in, if you wanna become prime minister of Canada, whatever whatever the desire is, it doesn't matter what it If you can become psychologically and emotionally nonresistant to the desire,
17:07100% of the time consistently and predictably, you will crystallize that desire into your reality. What does that mean? How do you do that?
17:13You have a desire, a dream, or a goal. Yeah.
17:17And you become nonresistant to what? To the desire itself. Because what happens is the moment you have a desire, two things, uh, enter your awareness.
17:25Number one is, of course, the thing that you want, but number two is the absence of it. The lack?
17:30Yeah. It's not there yet. Mhmm.
17:32And the brain will give a meaning to the absence of it. Well, it's not there because there's not enough time.
17:38Well, it's not there because I'm not good enough. Well, it's not there because money is hard to make. Well, it's not there because there's something wrong with me.
17:43Well, it's not there because other people have it and there's a limited amount of it in the world. There's an explanation. That's we're great explainers.
17:50Yeah. Yeah. Right?
17:51And that explanation is actually a limiting belief. And and as long as that limiting belief exists, it's not that you can't produce the result because reality is very gracious with us.
18:02Like, nobody has a perfect mindset. But as if you can identify what the resistance is and do the inner work to transform it, you now become completely aligned and congruent with the outcome itself.
18:15So give me an example of this around either love or money or I'll give you a personal example for me. Yeah.
18:21I started my podcast back in July 4. It was it was the July 4 in 2023.
18:27Okay. And I was recording an episode every single day. I'm sorry.
18:31Every single week. Every day. Can you imagine?
18:33I was recording That's kinda me. Almost? Yes.
18:37I can imagine. Almost every day. Yeah.
18:40And and it was about a a year, and it just wasn't performing the way I had expected. Once a week for a year, you're putting it out there. I'm I'm putting an episode out there, and I'm like, I don't really understand.
18:50I took some Ali Abdul, you know, YouTube optimization course, and, you know, I'm I'm doing all the best practices. And I'm do I and and and I'm looking at the content. I'm like, it's good content.
18:59The hook is good. And I'm looking at other shows. I'm like, I think it's as good.
19:02Maybe it's even better than this other stuff. Why isn't it performing? That's all the resistance.
19:07The desire was a podcast that reaches a lot of people. The resistance was, why isn't it reaching more people?
19:15What's wrong with me? What's wrong with it? Why isn't it happening sooner?
19:18I need to fix something. Maybe it'll never happen. My son was born.
19:23And when my son was born, I stopped really paying attention to a lot of other things in my life. Because my son was here.
19:31He's what mattered. And I stopped making the underperformance of my podcast matter because that was the resistance.
19:38One of my mentors said, what you make matter becomes matter. Right? That's what we do.
19:43We're human beings. We are able to take something and create it in nothing and create it into something. Mhmm.
19:48And so what I was making matter was the underperformance of my podcast. As soon as I withdrew my attention from the underperformance, in other words, I dropped the resistance, and I redirected my energy over to my son, within ninety days, my podcast took off.
20:02Mhmm. Right? And this is the challenging thing.
20:04We're supposed to, as Napoleon Hill talks about, have a burning desire for something, but then not pay attention to the absence of it. But be and be kind of unattached.
20:13And be unattached. Yeah. So
20:16now you hard to do when you focus your energy on a desire that you want something. Correct. And in some ways, you should be obsessed about it Correct.
20:25In some ways to be like, I need to master this. I didn't develop consistent habits and actions towards it. I need to, you know, conspire the world and people around me to support me in this in some ways, but also not be attached to result?
20:39Correct.
20:40And the lacking of the result not happening right now? Yeah. It's the challenging art of a human Mhmm.
20:44It's the challenging art. You know, Neville Goddard talks about this. Right?
20:47He's like, ignore your reality. Right?
20:50Have a desire, but then ignore your current situation. Because if you keep paying attention to your current situation, you keep paying attention to the absence of the thing that you want Yes. And you get locked into the absence of the thing.
20:59So what do we do instead?
21:01Instead of the focusing on what we are lacking, no matter how hard someone's working, how much they're trying and it's failing and it's not working yet, the podcast, the relationship, the financial success, the health, whatever it is, how do we detach from the result not being in our lives now
21:18so that it shows up now? Well, I mean, the first step is understanding what we're talking about. You know?
21:23The the the greatest challenge human beings have is that we don't understand how reality works. We don't understand that we are given the right to have a desire and that if we get out of the way, a 100% of the time, the desire must produce itself.
21:35Now some people will think that that means, okay, Dave. My desire is a million dollar business, and so I'm just gonna write it down on a note card or visualize it.
21:45And the Amazon delivery guy is gonna deliver a million dollar business to my front doorstep while I'm watching Netflix and eating cheesy poofs on the sofa. That's not what I'm saying. So we are meant to take daily consistent action towards the goals that we have, but notice when we start to move into resistance.
22:03And what does resistance actually look like? Is it an emotional feeling? Is it a frustration?
22:08Is it a thought? It's a great question. Is it a lacking of action?
22:11What is that? I have a feeling I'm gonna give you three distinctions today. Okay?
22:15The first one is desire plus nonresistance equals desired result. I would call that the golden equation. Okay.
22:19That's how all outcomes are produced. So the question is, well, how do I know when I'm resistance?
22:25And for for that, we go to a distinction called the two states of being. Mhmm.
22:30Primal versus Powerful states. Yep. Right?
22:33There's there are only two states of being. Primal states and powerful states. Primal states are states of being that don't feel good.
22:38States like stress, anxiety, overwhelm, anger, jealousy, depression, anxiety, boredom. That's when the sympathetic expression of the nervous system is active. We're in fight or flight.
22:48Mhmm. And then there are powerful states of being. States like joy, curiosity, excitement, enthusiasm, peace, calm.
22:54Those are states of being that feel good, and that's when the parasympathetic state of the nervous system is active. You are always in one state of being or the other.
23:03You're never in two states of being at the same time. And what's interesting is that what determines what state of being you're in is not the experience, it's the meaning you're giving the experience. It's the thoughts that you're having about money, the thoughts you're having about yourself, the thoughts that you're having about life.
23:16Why is this important? Because everything that you wanna create, all change that you desire, your vision board, your dreams, your goals, those will be produced from a powerful state of being.
23:28That's when you're connected to intuition, inspiration, uh, health, vibrancy, prosperity, abundance, presence, intimacy, connection.
23:37It's all in a powerful state. You don't get any of that when you're in a primal state. Uh-huh.
23:42And so when we are in a primal state, we're in resistance. So for playing the game called desire plus nonresistance equals desired result, what we start paying much more attention to is what state of being am I in?
23:57And a root cause foundational way of starting to navigate life, which is a practice I'm in not all the time, but a lot, is noticing when I've moved into a primal state, knowing that the only thing that is moving me into a primal state is my own thoughts and my own beliefs, and then observing those thoughts and beliefs and using whatever tools I have to move back into a powerful state of being.
24:23That's the practice. It's wax on, wax off. Mhmm.
24:26If you do that consistently,
24:29eventually, you'll produce the desired result. What is the thing that gets you in a primal state of being the most? Me?
24:34Yes.
24:36Physical sensations of my body that I don't like. My my health has been one of my mountains to climb. Like, or like Heart palpitations Yeah.
24:45Aches, pains.
24:47So it puts you in more of a fear mind rather rather than than a a a powerful frame of mind? Correct. It moves me into a primal state.
24:52Yeah.
24:53But there's plenty of things that move me into a primal state. You know? I I I have expectations on how my Tuesday is going to go.
25:00Mhmm. And it doesn't go that way. You know?
25:04Somebody doesn't do a thing that they're supposed to be doing or marketing campaign doesn't work the way I expected it to work,
25:11and I move into a primal state. Right? It's a it's a What does that feel like when you go to primal state?
25:17Is it a anxiety? Is it a depression? Is it I'm not good enough?
25:21Is it something's wrong? What's the Sure. It could be anything from frustration.
25:25So emotionally, let's back up because thoughts generally create emotions. The thought might be, um, why aren't they doing what they're supposed to be doing?
25:36What if this doesn't work out? How come how come they did it this way? Uh, Am I doing something wrong?
25:45Right? All of those thoughts are conducive to some sort of what you could call negative emotion. Right?
25:49A primal state. The emotions for me that are habits are frustration, anxiety, some other form of fear, shame and guilt.
26:03Right? Those those are my go tos. And and really what we're talking about in all this work, there's so many ways to describe personal growth.
26:10Mhmm. But what we're talking about is building a different neurology.
26:14Right? I think about how amazing it is as human beings. We're able to use our minds to reorganize and rewire our nervous systems and our brains.
26:22Yeah. And so every time you you catch yourself in a primal state and you observe the thought and you you we have a great set of tools, but there's lot of great teachers out there to sort of interrogate the thought and you actually see that the thought isn't necessarily true, you're building a new nervous system.
26:38You're building a new capacity. And so many people want to have more in their life, but like, are you capable of handling it? Right.
26:45Right? Yeah. And so this is this is a beautiful logical process that whatever you believe our creator is created for us, which is, you know, we we we start to see the deep unreality that we've been living since we adopted those early age programs, and you start to reorient yourself to a proper perception of reality.
27:04And the reward for that is you get to create more of what you want to create, but the real reward for that is you start living in joy. Mhmm.
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28:22Freedom. I think a lot of people don't feel free in their life. You know?
28:25And if you grew up not feeling safe, that means you don't have freedom. For sure. Right.
28:29For sure. And at least that was for me. I didn't feel free.
28:33And it's like I wanted to create my own sense of peace and freedom.
28:38That not feeling safe and not feeling free is pervasive in the nervous systems of human beings. And so, you know, not only do we create our own realities where you end up in a career where you don't feel safe, you end up in a relationship where you don't feel safe, you end up with a bank account where you don't feel safe, you end up in a body where you don't feel safe.
28:57Yes. But look at what we're collectively materializing at a macro level. Does the world feel safe?
29:01No. No. I mean, you could you could pick whatever you want.
29:04You could pick the war in Iran. You could pick what's happening in Gaza. You could pick the way the government is run.
29:08You could pick inflation. You could pick. All of these things are crystallizations of the unsafety that we have not, as human beings, yet learned to metabolize in our nervous systems.
29:17Mhmm. So you don't you don't we're not we're never gonna change that out there. Yeah.
29:21We will change in here. And as we change in here, those changed people will have new thoughts and new ideas to create a new system that feels safe for everyone. But that's the big mistake right now.
29:31As every everybody you know, there's a war on terror. There's a war on drugs. There's a war on this.
29:34There's a war on that. It's all more resistance. But but we're told and by the way, you know, my equation is a derivative of the great teachings.
29:42Right? We're told to be nonresistant. Like, Christ says, turn the other cheek.
29:46Right? This why? What do you that doesn't even make any sense.
29:48You're telling me when when I'm confronted by something that I don't like in the world, I'm actually supposed to turn the other cheek, give it my cheek. And if you really look at what I think that teaching is, it's when you notice something in your life that you don't like, or you notice something in the world that you don't like, which would be your enemy, you turn the cheek, which is you turn your attention in the other direction.
30:09You use the contraction or the problem in your life as an inspiration for a new desire and a new solution that you can now crystallize into reality. Mhmm.
30:18Right? It's a beautiful teaching. Yes.
30:20But they're all there. Right? Whether it's Buddha or Christ or whoever, and you could pick your guy or your gal.
30:25Right? Non resistance. But now we can see that it makes sense because behavioral psychology tells us what you believe you think, what you think you feel, what you feel you do, and what you do are the results.
30:37And so if you're thinking and feeling resistance, you're gonna produce a resistant reality. Yes. Right?
30:43So it all starts with a belief or does it start with healing the past so you can create new beliefs?
30:51My own journey was starting with my beliefs.
30:57And you were, what, around thirties? In my early thirties. You were very you were successful in your career, making money, accomplishing.
31:04I wouldn't even call it successful. I would say, like, look. If you think a guy running a venture backed technology company is successful, fine.
31:10But that same guy was only paying himself $80,000 a year, had $3,000 in his bank account, two homes in foreclosure, and had been single for ten years. Like, successful is that?
31:17Gotcha. Right? But, yeah, I guess if you if you took a quick Right?
31:21But, you know, I it was the craziest thing.
31:27I was at Miami International Airport, and I I I just I'd gotten about eighteen months of sobriety under my belt. And I was like, man, if if I can change this much, like because I never thought I was gonna stop doing drugs and alcohol and sexing and everything that I was doing. And how old were you then?
31:42Uh, 33. 33. Right.
31:44Especially pornography. I mean, porn I was like, I I don't think there's any way this is gonna stop. Mhmm.
31:50And it stopped. And it didn't stop because I tried to stop it. It stopped because I was healing myself through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
31:58It's a phenomenal healing framework. And not only was I looking at my limiting beliefs and my resentments and healing them, but I was also, as I was clearing starting to find a relationship with a higher power.
32:09I didn't grow up in a family with a higher power. Mhmm. So I had all of that, and I was like, man, if this is possible, like, what else is possible?
32:18Like, maybe I could actually become wealthy. Maybe I could actually find a soul mate. Maybe I could actually And so I was in this inquiry and I went to Miami International Airport.
32:28I was flying somewhere. And you ever have that experience where like there's a book on the bookshelf and it like decides it's gonna have a relationship with you? Like you just feel it.
32:35Sure. And I walk over, and I grab this book, and I look at the back cover, it had four statements. It said, life is full of suffering.
32:42I was like, okay. I can relate to that. The suffering is gonna happen to you.
32:46There's a way out of the suffering, and the way out of the suffering is the eightfold path of virtue. And I was reading the four noble truths of Buddhism.
32:52And I turned this book over, and it's called Awakening the Buddha Within. It's got lama surya das. I buy the book.
32:58I read it cover to cover on the airplane. I was like, holy cow. The message here with this eightfold path of virtue of Buddha is very Eightfold?
33:05What is Eightfold path of virtue. Eightfold path. Eightfold path of virtue.
33:09Right? It says eight steps. Uh-huh.
33:11And I was like, this is almost the same as the 12 Thets in And Alcoholics I get back to my office, and my social media manager at the time left me a book, and I was not a reader.
33:21Right? So these are miracles. Uh-huh.
33:22And it was a book called Kingdom Principles by Miles Monroe where he's explaining the teachings of Christ. I'm like, it's the same steps.
33:28And so I go to Barnes and Noble, and I I don't think I'd ever been into a bookstore, to be honest with you. I go to the little lady at the front desk, and I'm like, do you have a place for people who are, like, trying to get their life sorted out or whatever?
33:39She's like, oh, the self help section. I'm like, what a wonderfully named section. Yeah.
33:42Yeah. And there was a little book laying on the floor in that section called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I just picked it up.
33:49So I, you know, I came into healing through thoughts and beliefs.
33:56I think eventually you go back and look at where these beliefs originated and you find forgiveness or you find proper perspective and you heal it.
34:06Right? But you don't have to go back there because those things that happened then are showing up in your life right now.
34:14Yes. You know? You're you're every man you meet is dad, and every woman you meet is mom, and those are your conflicts.
34:22And, you know, if you're living with a chronic health condition or you're living financial scarcity, your reaction to that reality are the same programs that you had back then.
34:33So we can work with the program at any level of the timeline. Right? I do think eventually we end up going back and cleaning up those early misunderstandings.
34:41Sure. But that to me, that can be a little bit harder than just working with the raw material as it's showing up on a day to day basis.
34:49It's right there for you. Yeah. You know?
34:51You don't have to get into a deep hypnosis or get into EMDR.
34:54All great tools. Right? But, like, hey.
34:56It's showing up right now with the thing on Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah.
34:58Yeah. What would you say then is the the number one habit that most people are living and and living by on a daily basis that they think is positive, but is actually harming them in some way with their energy or their frequency to creating more?
35:15Again, it'll vary from person to person, but if if we, like, focus that question on
35:21high performance Mhmm. Because I know there's a lot of high performers that listen to the show.
35:25You're a high performer. It's it's this let let's look at a bad equation. It's desire plus hustle and grind equals desired result.
35:33Mhmm. Right? It's desire plus sacrifice your health and relationships for success equals desire and resolve.
35:40And so and that's reinforced by a lot of, um, hustle culture. I mean, you can throw a stone and find it on YouTube or Instagram. It's like, you know, if if if you're not working somewhere, someone is, and when you meet them, they will win.
35:53And, like, I'm like, okay. Well, maybe, but probably not.
35:58Because Christ said my yoke is easy. Right? So, like, there's gotta be an easier way.
36:03There's gotta be prosperity and abundance and possibility available for all of us. And so that was a big part of what I'm still down regulating my nervous system towards. Right?
36:12Is this idea of like, no. I just need to be do more or there's not enough time. People are living in time scarcity all the time.
36:19Like, you can't even breathe. And so, again, going back to what I have come to learn is like, no.
36:26My I don't need to hustle grind. I don't need to find more time. I don't need to do anything that would insert itself into that desire plus other than nonresistance.
36:36And everything that shows up in that space that is not nonresistance is the resistance that needs to be worked on.
36:44What
36:46would you say is the number one limiting belief of most people then?
36:51I'm not enough. Yeah. Being not good enough.
36:54And it makes sense when you look at what happened when we were children. So, you know, you've got beautiful eight month old daughters.
37:01I've got a 3.5 year old. And what what I see in my son is his expectation rightfully so of unconditional love from me.
37:13So we all expected unconditional love from our parents. But I don't care who your parent was, how good they were, and there are plenty that, you know, weren't great on paper.
37:26Um, but your parents are never gonna have unconditional love for you. They're conditional.
37:30Right? They're you have the condition of your career. You have the condition of your relationship with your spouse.
37:35You have the condition of being a single mom or a single dad. You have the condition of your own trauma. You have the you have the condition of so many things.
37:41So there are always going to be times when a child expects the parent to be present for them and the parent is absent because of conditionality. In that absence, the child subconsciously believes it has something to do with them.
37:56And so that is why we find I am not enough or I'm not good enough everywhere. Mhmm. Because it happened to all of us.
38:04But and this has become one of my passions, like really understanding the structure of reality. The structure is sort of like a metaphysical version of Joseph Campbell's hero's journey.
38:15Like, what's really happening here? Because if reality is loving, how do we explain all of these things that seem to be absent of love?
38:22So how do you explain it? Well, my own experience and what I've seen consistently with with other people is that that that not being enough, um, creates a compensation, which we talked about before, that becomes your personality.
38:41And so you embark upon this journey with a nervous system that To prove or to To prove or to please or to whatever. Yeah.
38:51And what's what seems to happen is that compensation that comes out of feeling like you weren't enough, which is your personality,
38:58works for a while. Mhmm.
39:00It's a good strategy. Yeah. It's a it's a strategy, and it and it has strengths.
39:04It has gifts. But also remember, it isn't neurology.
39:09It's a nervous system. And so as it works, it starts to be applied into more and more areas of your life.
39:16Yeah. And what happens is at about 40 years old, there's this emergence of what we would call the core program. It's between 40 and 60 where people would describe it as, I don't understand the thing that I've always been good at that got me to where I am is starting to be the thing that's suffocating me.
39:33It's making me a prisoner. That's the core program. Yeah.
39:35It it's a overdevelopment of that neurology. And that will, uh, bring you to your knees.
39:44So peep people have their long dark night of the solar. They hit their bottom. It doesn't have to be with drugs or alcohol.
39:49It's like I just can't keep pleasing people. Uh-huh. I I have given no time for myself, and so now, um, the aspects of myself or my health are starting to degrade.
39:59Or someone has built up this personality that is, I'm the one who's able to bring order to chaos. But now there's so much chaos that chaos just beats them down. Mhmm.
40:08And in that beatdown, which again is a byproduct of this overdeveloped aspect of your nervous system, you are incapable of solving it on your own.
40:22So it doesn't matter what great personal development tool that you have. It doesn't matter what pills or potions you take. It doesn't matter what shaman you find with a great playlist.
40:31None of it works because that is meant to actually bring you back into relationship with the higher power of your own understanding so that you can finally experience the unconditional love that is there for you but was never meant to be given to you by your parents.
40:46And what's beautiful about that is when you reach that inflection point and you start to find that unconditional love, the next natural step is to forgive your parents. Mhmm.
40:57Because it was our misunderstanding. Understandably so. Right?
41:00We were kids. Trying to survive. But it was our misunderstanding.
41:03Yeah. And so the core program is not actually like, if you think about the super limiting belief that emerges between the ages of 40 and 60, it's not a thing that you're meant to get rid of yourself.
41:14You're meant to surrender it to your higher power. And now you get into this concept, which I think a lot of people don't understand, which is surrender. And so it requires these pieces.
41:21Right? Surrender to what? To who?
41:23To a higher power. Well, how do you find that relationship? Well, you hit a bottom and you have nowhere to go other than look up.
41:29Yeah. Right? So this is all this beautiful arc of how every human being's life emerges.
41:35And the challenging thing is when you don't understand the arc, it's like trying to fight an invisible boxer in a ring Mhmm. Because you have no context for it. Yeah.
41:43And that's why I think so many people who get into personal growth or the work that we teach, they're able to actually start changing. It's not just about going, yeah.
41:52Okay. My I know I have my limiting beliefs, but how do I change them? Right?
41:56It's not about like, yeah. I understand that forgiveness would be good for me and resentment is bad, but how do I actually forgive? That's the integration piece that I think up until now has been missing in a lot of the historical motivation and inspirational
42:08part of personal growth. Right? Yeah.
42:10Because when someone is feeling typically, when someone's feeling pain, resistance, stress, overwhelm, if they don't go to God or a higher power, they go to some other numbing mechanism.
42:22Correct. Drugs, porn, sex, alcohol, success, money, whatever it is, workaholicism or whatever it might be.
42:32And they and you realize after five, ten years of doing that strategy to try to numb and feel better, it doesn't work. It's not giving you the peace or the harmony of the results that you want. And it's by going more into that, and people are gonna let you down, and addictions are gonna let you down, and all these things are gonna let you down from giving you that unconditional love.
42:52So that's why we either need to be broken down, or we need to create some type of awareness when things are good before it gets bad to say, oh,
43:02I'm not having everything I truly want inside of me. Let me connect to a higher power. Mhmm.
43:07Yeah. Amen to that. Yeah.
43:08And the higher power thing is interesting too because we have a lot of there are a lot of people who it's where I started. I I I think I probably would have considered myself atheistic and then agnostic, And then I started building a relationship with a higher power, and for me, the higher power was the universe.
43:24But what I've learned over time for me, I'm not don't have to put this on anyone else, is I was really inspired by the story of David in the Bible.
43:35I was like, I want that. I want that personal relationship with God. I wanna be able to stand up to the Goliaths of my life and say, you know what?
43:42I know who my father is. I know what he does for me, and and today I'm gonna show the whole world that there's a God in my life. Right?
43:49I wanted that. Because prior to that, it was the universe. Like, was in new age and law of attraction, and all that stuff is great.
43:56Like, I'm a huge Abraham Hicks fan. Like, all those things are amazing. They're part of the journey.
44:01But I I felt like there was a difference between having a relationship with the creator and the created. Mhmm. The the universe is created.
44:08By the creator. By the creator. Right?
44:10And so I didn't really know where to find that, and I just started Mhmm. You know? But I had seen in my life that when I ask, I receive.
44:17There is there is this response. Not always as quickly as I would like it to be, but Mhmm. And so I started just really saying, hey.
44:25I I I wanna know what it looks like. What can I do? What is available to me to have a personal relationship with God?
44:31And And what showed up for you? Well, we talked about, like, you know, my my mountain is my body and my health, right? And so I You're 50 now, right?
44:39I'm 50. Well, that's not why, but yes. No.
44:41But you're Yeah. You're starting to feel Yes. Well, yeah.
44:44No. There's a a real thing which is why, you know, focusing on longevity like we talked about is so important. But in 2019, I had this Ayahuasca ceremony that I did.
44:55And it was probably like my twelfth ceremony that I had done. Right?
44:59Well, people count it as days. So it was like three or four ceremonies because some of them were And many many days.
45:06It was super intense. And about three weeks later, like lost my sleep. I just couldn't sleep.
45:11Oh, man. That's not good. Yeah.
45:13It's not good. So my sleep has gotten better over time, but I still wasn't sleeping great.
45:19And so I'm in this inquiry of, like, I wanna have a personal relationship with God. And I had a week or two where I wasn't sleeping well, and my wife was like, why don't you just get up early and journal and, you know, rather than just go back to bed?
45:32I'm like, ugh. I don't wanna get up at 05:00 and journal. Like, that's when I kinda squeeze in a few hours of sleep.
45:38Then I had revisited Paramahansa Yogananda's autobiography of a yogi. In an autobiography of a yogi, Paramahansa wakes up early and he writes.
45:45So I was like, okay, I'll wake up early and write. But I like, no, no, no, that just doesn't sound convenient. Then I then I did a breath session, a very deep transformational breath session remotely with with with a woman that I work with.
45:56And in the breath session, at the end, my body sits itself up, my hand comes out with, like, with a pen in it, I start writing. And I was like, okay, three times. I don't need to get struck by lightning.
46:05So the next day, I get up and I go down into my podcast studio, which is like my man cave, and I just start writing.
46:13And it just came out. It started out with, dear father, thank you.
46:18And I started I started thanking God for all the beautiful things in my life. And it was such a unique experience because I've written gratitudes before, but this was like a love letter that had been building up for for forty eight years. And I was just like, thank you for all these beautiful things in my life.
46:34And then I started asking for things. And, you know, it's interesting.
46:40When my son asked me for something, he's a 100% convinced he's gonna get it. Mhmm. There's no doubt.
46:44Because I'm his dad, and I can deliver on anything. Right? And he's like, no.
46:48I want and and I started writing, and and I felt this frequency of like, I know who I'm asking, so I know I'm gonna get it. There was no doubt. There was no resistance.
46:56And then the third piece was once I felt that, I started asking for other people. I started praying for other people. And so this has become my my journaling process.
47:03I call it communion journaling. I feel like I'm in a relationship with my higher power when I'm doing it. Do I do it every day?
47:09No. Should I do it more than I do? Yes.
47:12But it's there. And so that that was the answer to the asking that I had.
47:18And, uh, it has really helped me deepen my relationship with with my god. What if you ask for something and it's not given to you?
47:28You know, there's a great teacher in the early nineteen twenties. I just did an episode about her, Florence Goebel Shinn. She wrote a book called the game of life and how to play it.
47:35One of my top five books. I it's a great book. Mhmm.
47:38Still alive? No. And she, um, so she she, you know, basically says and I'm I'm not gonna do her affirmation justice.
47:46I just wanted to give her some credit. But the idea is is, like, if it's mine, it's mine. And if it's not mine, I don't want it.
47:53So if I ask for something and now I may go kicking and screaming for a while, but but at some point, I I realize It's not for me.
48:01It's not for me. Let it go. And and at some point Why do you have the desire in your heart then if it's not for you?
48:06Well, I I think there's two types of desires. I think there's a desire that comes from a head, and I think there's a desire that comes from the heart. For sure.
48:13Yeah. I think authentic desires aren't things that we invent. They're they're they're transmissions that we receive.
48:19Mhmm. And, you know, that's part of the discernment that we develop as we do the healing work is you you start to feel the difference.
48:28Um, and so yeah. You know? It's she has another really wonderful affirmation that says what's what was mine from the beginning is mine now and ever shall be mine.
48:37So whatever is mine can't be taken away, and whatever isn't mine, I don't need it. Yeah. And at the end of the day, it's not yours anymore.
48:43Right. You know, whatever you receive, I guess, you don't take it with you. I mean Right.
48:47Not that we're aware of. I mean, it's like you can't take the physical things with you. Yeah.
48:51So no matter how much money or the relationships you have, like, that stays in this world. Right. It's gone.
48:57Hopefully, what we get to bring is who we become. Right? Which is why this work is so important.
49:01Yes. Right? Like your essence, your soul, your spirit so that you can just continue to progress.
49:06And I think that makes sense. Like, you look at a lot of the great teachings and you talk about incarnation and multiple lives, it seems to make sense.
49:16In this life, I can see that I've I've gone through many lives. And each time I've learned and each time I try to get better. And so it just makes sense that I would do that life after life and that we would actually do that as a as a as a collective consciousness Yeah.
49:29As a way of just evolving Mhmm. Consciousness.
49:32Do you feel like you've had your biggest transformation yet?
49:37Never really never really thought about that. Did you kinda say like in your forties to 60, you go through this big kind of wake up typically for most people. It's funny.
49:46It reminds me of something my friend said where he he realized that every time he goes through a transformation, it it's it's a contraction, and then he gets into the expansion. So he's he's afraid to ask for any more Yeah. Because I it's gonna be painful.
49:58Contractions. So have I gone through my biggest one yet? I don't I don't know.
50:02Besides death, I guess. Probably probably not. I mean, look.
50:05Drug and alcohol and sex addiction was really challenging. That that was that was thirty years of momentum that had been building up.
50:15Yeah. Maybe there's something that's gonna be sixty or seventy years of momentum that I'm not aware of, but I do feel like, you know, if if you think about personal growth as almost like cleansing, that one felt like a pretty big Yeah.
50:29Cathartic type of experience. How long were you addicted to drugs, sex, alcohol?
50:34I would you know, I I started looking at pornography when I was 13, uh, and then college was, you know, was was drugs and alcohol. Drugs for me was marijuana, but it was a cocktail.
50:44Yeah. Uh, all of it though, I I sex addiction was a really challenging addiction to overcome. Like, I went to I went to AA meetings and narcotics anonymous meetings, not not to take anything away from those programs, but but the people that I saw in sex addiction recovery, I could see why it was part of my intelligent design because unlike drugs and alcohol, technically, I could, like, not call my pot dealer or not go to the bar.
51:09But the neurology of sex addiction continues to deepen even if you fantasize.
51:15Oh, yeah. And so that You're you're still living as a sex addict Correct. Almost by not even having sex.
51:20Correct. And and you're and you're still deepening those those neural networks. So it really required a psycholog a level of psychological mastery.
51:28Discipline.
51:29Mastery. Discipline. Awareness.
51:30Shifting your attention consistently. Correct.
51:34And fellowship. Uh-huh. I mean, there's no there's no way, you know, I could have done it without other people.
51:38And I think that's a really important part of healing work Yes. Is being in a community with other folks. You know, you and I talked about the stages that we're at where we don't, you know, don't have aren't spending a lot of time with big groups of friends like we used to.
51:50But that's something that I realized recently I really need to get back into is is is fellowship around personal growth. Wow. Yeah.
51:57What do you feel like is the the core root cause of all addiction? Unresolved emotional distress.
52:05You know? For anyone who's an alcoholic or sex addict or Yeah. Porn addict or whatever it is.
52:11It always is, which is you know, there's a lot of ways to recover outside of 12 step. There there's great programs out there, But that's what's so interesting is, like, you you don't the 12 steps aren't about trying to get you to stop drinking or drugging or sexing or eating or whatever it is.
52:27The 12 steps are about identifying the underlying root causes, which are the unresolved emotional trauma, uh, and transforming them.
52:37Right? And so when you do that, then you're no longer using Mhmm. In order to cope.
52:42In this 12 the 12 step program,
52:44it's with the AA. Right? 12 step program is what it's called?
52:47It started with Alcoholics Anonymous. Yeah. The 12 all these other anonymous groups.
52:51Yeah. In the 12 step program, in your mind, what is the one step that if you didn't have the 12 step program wouldn't work?
53:00Obviously, you need it all, but if there what is the one step? Like, okay. If you had these 11, but this one was not there, you'd still be you'd still be an addict.
53:10Uh, it's not exactly a step. Right? Because because there's a step which is admitting we were powerless over our addiction, um, and powerlessness is a funny thing for people, but it's just it's just the acknowledgment.
53:24It was the acknowledgment that I have a problem. Really? Yeah.
53:27The acknowledgment that I have a problem, and I've been unable to solve the problem on my own. Do most people feel like they don't have a problem when they're addicted to something? I mean, yeah.
53:36I think for the most part, that's, you know They don't think they have a problem. Yeah.
53:40And the the the challenge with that is twofold. One, we've normalized drinking.
53:46No, man. We've normalized sexual behavior. Mhmm.
53:49And to some extent, we've, for me, we normalized cannabis. Right? And so there's this normalization of these Legalize it.
53:56Yeah. There's this normalization of these behaviors. And so that already creates a frame of allowance, and then it's a slippery slope.
54:07Mhmm. So you you don't you don't notice it's it's the frog boiling in the pot. Yeah.
54:10Right? So, yeah, the the the majority of people out there either don't think they have a problem or there are these glimpsing moments.
54:18Right? Like, of of I have a problem, and it's like, ah, nah. It's it's not really an issue for me.
54:22I'm not really an alcoholic. I I remember when, uh, I had a conversation with a outpatient treatment group in in Winter Park, Florida, And I sat down with the counselor, he's like, you're an alcoholic.
54:33I'm like, come on, man. Like, that doesn't even make any sense. I'm not one of those.
54:37Yeah. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm functional.
54:39I just go out on the weekend, and I drink with my friends. Yeah. And then I chase girls, and I smoke a little bit of pot.
54:43And he's like, cool. Stop. You're like And I'm like, well, I can't.
54:46He was like You're an alcoholic. Why? You're an alcoholic.
54:49Why don't you think you could have stopped? Well, I tried. You did?
54:52I had the awareness for years. Right? There there was a period of time where it's like, okay.
54:57I'm I I don't have a problem. Then I knew I had a problem, but I couldn't stop. Really?
55:01Yeah.
55:02Yeah. Was it just if you stopped, then what would happen? If you stopped the addiction,
55:07what would you have to face? No. I'd I'd stop for a period of time.
55:09I'd stop for thirty days, and then something great would happen, so I'd celebrate. Mhmm.
55:14Or something bad would happen, so I'd go cope. Mhmm. It it was just it was it was well well worn into my into my nervous system.
55:21Wow. Yeah. When was the moment you felt like this no longer has a hold on me, this addiction?
55:28Or is it still like once you're an alcoholic,
55:31you're always an alcoholic thing? Many people, it is. For for me, I haven't I haven't felt that way.
55:38I I don't you know, I'm I'm not particularly interested in drinking or smoking pot. Over the last fifteen years since I've been sober, have I done it?
55:47Yeah. Like, on occasion, I've had a glass of wine with my wife or, you know, had a gummy at some event or something. Whatever it was.
55:54Pornography, couldn't treat casually for sure. But that was my real addiction.
55:58That was my core, was sex addiction. And so, yeah, it's just become a lifestyle. The other thing too is, like, when you start allowing God in your life and then you start getting your mission from God and then you start seeing what the rewards are for, like, living your mission in the world even though that has its own challenges and its own insecurities that it brings up,
56:15um, it's like it's just a better game to play Yes. Yeah. Than chasing the high.
56:19Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
56:21When did you feel like you got your calling from God? And how does someone, if they don't know what their purpose is, tap into what their purpose from God really is for them?
56:34Okay. Two part question. So I I don't know that I started the my wife and I started the the current business we have, the coaching business, that has really been what we've been portraying to the world.
56:49We probably started trying to do it in, like, 2015. We had our first event in 2017, um, and then we had a business.
56:56And I knew it was what I was meant to do. I wouldn't describe it as a calling from God yet.
57:01The calling from God came in 2021. In late twenty twenty one, I had a well, I don't even know if I was in my midlife at that point, but I I I had a crisis.
57:11Uh, I Five years ago. Yeah. I I had a chapter.
57:16What was the crisis? Yeah. So we we just moved You're at forty five then.
57:20Is that right? Yeah. At the time.
57:21Yeah. Yeah. COVID had hit.
57:23Our business had to pivot to virtual. We were doing a lot of live events. Financially, the business was starting to contract.
57:29My wife was pregnant with my son. We were having a lot of friction. Some of it was chemical.
57:36Some of it was just where we were in our relationship. We bought the home I told you about in Puerto Rico, but we were remodeling it. So we were living in an apartment in Old San Juan with my mother-in-law.
57:45So you you don't have stability.
57:47Your Correct. Business isn't stable. Correct.
57:49You're you're spending more money than it's coming All the stuff. The relationship And I had a bunch of health challenges going on. Yeah.
57:54Yeah. So it's all happening. It was coming from every direction.
57:56And, um, I I had this episode where, like, I felt all that stress in my body. I've tried to walk it off. I tried to breath work it off, and I couldn't shake it off.
58:05And so I got in the shower, uh, cold shower, and I I just started yelling because I I needed to get the energy. Screaming.
58:11So, yeah, my wife and and and my mother-in-law come running in. They're all freaked out. Yeah.
58:15You can imagine. Right? And so long story short, I had a bunch of really amazing people around me with a lot of different resources.
58:25But one of the people was my brother, and he said, look. Right now your life feels unmanageable. Why don't you go back to where you were able to reestablish yourself when things got unmanageable before?
58:38And I was like, that's a good idea. So I started going to AA meetings. I hadn't been in years.
58:42And I called up a buddy of mine, and I said, hey. You wanna work the 12 steps with me? And he said, sure.
58:46Were you are you drinking again? Are you sexing? I said, no.
58:48I realized I'm a chronic worrier. So I wanna work the steps around worry. So we work those 12 steps, and, man, I worked them seriously.
58:57And I saw things I had never seen before. Like what? Resentments that I had, limiting beliefs that I had, doubt that I had in my relationship with my higher power.
59:10And I also saw saw how the 12 steps connected beautifully to the frameworks that I had been building Mhmm. From the golden equation to two states of being to some other ones. And and I and so I what came to me was a 12 step structure for personal growth.
59:25It's called the whole human framework. Mhmm. And so we created this 12 step structure, and I started putting folks who've been in our community for years whose lives had transformed through this 12 step structure, and they were like, holy Like, this is the most transformative thing that we have ever gone through.
59:41It included the core program. That's how I discovered the core program was through this process. And so we had people who had like, one guy was so funny.
59:47He said, look, I've I've climbed the mountain with T. Harv Eker. I've meditated with the Maharishi.
59:51I've walked the hot coals with Tony Robbins. He goes, I've done it all. He's like, but this thing is what I've been looking for my whole life.
59:57And so as people started going through it, what we found was that they wanted to be in a daily rhythm and a practice around it. And so we created a community called the Whole Human Network.
1:00:08And the network had the opportunity to facilitate the framework for other people. And so it just started growing. And what I saw at the same time, I've sort of been a student of power in the world and how power works, centralized power.
1:00:23I had a lot of young kids who were conspiracy theorists who worked for me, you know, years ago and then I realized there's nothing conspiracy they're not they're not making stuff up. Right? Like, this is how a lot of the world works.
1:00:34And so, uh, I I realized that, like, hey, if we want to change the world at a macro level, we need to heal ourselves. And there's two things that are required to create an alternative system for humanity. Number one is we have to liberate our attention.
1:00:48Because if you don't have attention sovereignty, you cannot consciously create. And our attention is being hijacked all the time intentionally.
1:00:56And in order to prevent the hijacking of your attention, the solution is heal. Because if you can metabolize fear off your nervous system, fear cannot grab you anymore.
1:01:07And now you become an intentional creator. So I was like, okay. If we can do this at scale, now we've got tens or hundreds of millions of people who have liberated attention who can direct it wherever they want.
1:01:18The second thing is we have to start building the scaffolding of a new system. Regenerative financial system, regenerative health care system. A system that is not about extraction, but we're like one plus one equals three.
1:01:28Mhmm. And so so that was the vision I had for whole human.
1:01:33That God spoke to me. So that through that extraordinary compression and the vision that I've been given, which is what we're focusing on now. We have the coaching company.
1:01:41We have whole human. Whole human is this distributed economy of consciousness where people help other people awaken, utilizing this amazing framework, and then supporting entrepreneurship in an ecosystem that begins to become a parallel system to the one that's out there right now that's falling apart.
1:01:57Wow. What do people do if thank you for letting me share that. I'm obviously super enthusiastic about it, but that's that's God speaking to me.
1:02:06What does someone do if they're if they're wanting to find purpose? Again, it goes back to the golden equation. Desire plus nonresistance equals desired result.
1:02:15What is your desire? My desire is I want to know what I'm here to do. I want to find purpose.
1:02:19I want to, uh, know what my gifts are and how to leverage them in the world. I want to become financially abundant. I wanna be in service of other people.
1:02:25But what you know, it's inherent in all of us. What am I meant to do here? So great desire.
1:02:31Now be nonresistant to it. Well, what does that mean? Well, notice if you start moving into, but what if I don't have a purpose?
1:02:38Well, why haven't I discovered my purpose yet? Well, other people seem to have a purpose. Well, what if my purpose is already taken?
1:02:43What if my purpose is already passed? That's all the inner chatter. That's the limiting beliefs that is the resistance.
1:02:48So if you have a desire, meaning you ask and you're patient, you'll receive.
1:02:55Mhmm. It's a 100% consistent and predictable. How will it occur for me, David?
1:03:00Well, you'll have some thoughts and ideas. You'll see something on YouTube. Somebody will say something to you.
1:03:07An opportunity will show up. You'll have the courage to follow it. It'll be baby steps.
1:03:12It won't show up all at once. Right? But hold on to the desire to know your purpose and notice when you become resistant to that desire and use whatever tools you can to drop the resistance.
1:03:25Give it some time, like a a dash of patience, and you'll become clear on what your your purpose is. How does someone know
1:03:33when they should continue on their purpose versus pivot on their purpose?
1:03:40Because when you are clear on your purpose or you feel called towards something, usually in the beginning, there is some luck.
1:03:49There is some signs and people supporting you, or there is some, oh, I tried this thing, and it actually worked to get you going. But then there's usually some type of resistance or obstacle or challenge or hurdle or whatever it is.
1:04:02So how do you know when you're per you're supposed to continue through the challenges and obstacles and continue the patience of all the challenges and obstacles that may come your way versus this just isn't for me anymore.
1:04:15Let me pivot towards something else.
1:04:18Because also we change over time. Of course. Right?
1:04:21So you you grow and evolve, and so your purpose like, look at mine. At first, I thought my purpose was building a coaching company, which it still is. Now it's whole human.
1:04:28Right? And and looking at that story, I was running into a lot of friction and resistance with with the coaching company.
1:04:37So it had to evolve. Yeah. So it had to evolve.
1:04:40And the answer is step away. The answer is step away.
1:04:46Like, I don't I don't think I think we give ourselves a lot more credit for things than we deserve.
1:04:55In other words, you don't pivot. The pivot happens to you.
1:04:59Mhmm. And so how do you allow the pivot to happen to you? It's like, well, like you said, if you're working through the obstacles and it feels exhausting, you step away from the problem.
1:05:11Mhmm. Right? And as you step away from the problem, you disentangle yourself from it, you give space for your consciousness to renormalize, and in that space, you'll have new perspective, new thoughts, new ideas.
1:05:27Now you may go back to the same obstacles and overcome them. You may move in another direction.
1:05:33Sometimes you move in another direction. Like, I started Whole Human in 2021. It was too early, and I came back to the coaching business.
1:05:42But we're very rigid about these types of inquiries a lot of times too. Right? It's like, do I do I keep doing the obstacles, or do I pivot?
1:05:47It's like, relax a little bit. Yeah. Right?
1:05:50Give it some time. Yeah. You're not gonna figure it out today.
1:05:53It may not be this week, but we're we're learning you know, Bruce Lee talks about being like bamboo. Right? Bamboo is strong because it knows when to be rigid, but it also sways in the wind.
1:06:02Right? And so we're learning to do that as human beings because we grew up with so much rigidity. So, you know, there's also that quote from Einstein that people quote all the time.
1:06:13You can't solve a problem with the same level of consciousness that created it. So you gotta step away from your problems, and I would say get into solution frequency.
1:06:21What is solution frequency? Well, it's the beautiful things in your life. Cause at one point in time, the absence of them were problems.
1:06:27Now they've shown up in their solutions. And that's why when you're trying to hammer through an obstacle or you don't know whether or not to pivot and you go for a hike in Runyon Canyon Yeah.
1:06:36You have clarity. Yes. Right?
1:06:38You know, you you go play with your furry friend and something hits you. Go get a good workout in and it hits you. Yes.
1:06:43But then the other important piece in all of this is, man, give it some time. Like, we're all living in so much time scarcity. And one of the things we teach entrepreneurs is to stop paying attention to time and start inquiring more around what creates timing.
1:06:58Because timing is so much more powerful than time. Meeting the right person, running into the right opportunity, having the right resource show up. We all have twenty four hours in a day, but time is a measurement of change.
1:07:09Timing is a measurement of alignment, calibration. So if you can become aligned and calibrated, which is living in a powerful state, which is trying to live in nonresistant as best as you can, and we're not gonna do it twenty four hours a day, You start to activate timing, the timing of thoughts and ideas and coincidences.
1:07:25So if someone is trying to figure out whether to keep pushing through or whether to pivot, I would say step away and see what happens. Yeah. And you know what?
1:07:32If you pivot, you can always come back to it. Mhmm. And if you keep pushing pushing through on something, you can always pivot.
1:07:37So we we make it a much bigger deal than it is. I love the idea of of timing versus
1:07:42Time. Being afraid of, like, time's running out. And it's, you know, I guess we're technically I mean, I'm 43 or 50.
1:07:52It's like, alright. We're we're getting close to halfway done, or who knows? You know?
1:07:57Maybe there's more time, but it's not like we're seven years old, we have all of our lives ahead of us. Right? So we have to start looking at life with a different perspective, I guess, through a different lens.
1:08:09Or how do we not get scarce around time if you feel like it's running out or you don't have your whole life ahead of you and focus rather on timing, how do you do that when you're not 12 years old?
1:08:23Well, I think there's a couple of things. I was having a conversation with Chad GPT that has all my labs and Every the everything that I was doing. And I said, hey.
1:08:30Based on my labs and based on current How long do I have the Based on current technologies. Based on how healthy I am because I'm actually an incredibly healthy human being. Yeah.
1:08:38Uh, and based on the current technologies that are out there, stem cells, CRISPR technologies, all the stuff. And what's coming. Says yeah.
1:08:44And what's coming. Uh, and and, Greg, AI can hallucinate. Yeah.
1:08:47I was like, give me an estimate of how long I'll live. So in terms of, like, health span, like, living well, hundred and twenty five years. Wow.
1:08:54Okay. So that's my intention. If it's a hundred and twenty five years, I got seventy five years to go.
1:08:59But, like, I have such insane compounding interest at 50. Like, if if you ever look at how compounding interest works, right, if you were to set aside Yeah.
1:09:08A $100,000 a year, which is a lot of money for some people and it's not a lot of money for others, A $100,000 a year, and you just put it in some combination of the S and P 500, Bitcoin, gold, 8% average return.
1:09:22You could have a defensive position because the world seems like it's a little bit crazy right now. But if you just get an 8% annualized return and a $100,000 a year that you put into that over forty years, you're worth $2,224,000,000 dollars.
1:09:35But what's interesting is that if you live ten more years, it's another $32,000,000. That's crazy. So, uh, I'm just starting a hockey stick.
1:09:45So that excites me. Like, I I don't think I can even fathom what I can accomplish. So I could look at it as like, I'm almost halfway through, or we got seventy five years, bro.
1:09:57Let's go. You know? So that's the way I look at it.
1:10:01Mhmm. And, again, part of it is turning it over to my higher power.
1:10:06Like, it's it's a very edging God out type of conversation to have, but it's certainly I mean, when I turned 50, believe me, I had it with myself of, like like, where am I at and, you know, checking, am I as far along as I wanted to be now, and how much time do I have left? And your mind will do this mental calculation.
1:10:20Right? But the mind doesn't understand the compounding interest. So, you know, we just that's why longevity is so important.
1:10:28Yeah. But I I I do think it is important to understand that no matter where you are in your life, the accumulation of your lived experience has set you up for such extraordinary growth moving forward Mhmm.
1:10:41And we don't give credit to that, uh, reality.
1:10:44Yeah. You've got an amazing book out called A Change Mind, which is go beyond self awareness, rewire your brain, and reengineer your reality. This came out about a few years ago.
1:10:55Um, what is the one thing in this book you feel like if people took away one idea, it would help them more than anything else?
1:11:03I struggled with limiting beliefs for a long time. Mhmm.
1:11:07Uh, there were some that I had shifted, but others that I didn't. And, uh, I was in this burning desire inquiry of, like, man, there's gotta be an easier way to shift my beliefs. Like, what is it that I need to know?
1:11:17My wife and I were going for a walk one day. And it's a two millimeter distinction, so it's it's easy to miss, but it has just absolutely dramatically changed the way I do my personal growth.
1:11:28And I see feedback from folks who've been in our work that it's this distinction. It's the distinction that beliefs are decisions. So when we were growing up, we came to the conclusion when our little buddy didn't show up at the drinking fountain that we can't trust people.
1:11:42But it was a decision. And as a result of that unconscious decision, it we've been living in a hallucination ever since. We've only been paying attention to anything that supports that decision, and we've been ignoring everything else.
1:11:53Mhmm. And if that's true, then at any point in time, I should be able to identify a limiting belief and make a new decision.
1:11:59And so we we have this wonderful process in the book called the decision matrix that helps people identify the limiting belief, make a new decision, which is always the opposite of the limiting belief, and ask a really simple question, which is what evidence do I have for the fact that this new decision is true?
1:12:15And what you'll do is you'll actually source those memories that you've been filtering out. And as you do that, you build evidence for the new belief. And most often, by the time you're done with that little process and you look back at the limiting belief, it doesn't even make sense anymore.
1:12:30But but the idea that beliefs are decisions, I think, demystifies, uh, the concept of beliefs because we can get into trauma and this and that and all these things, but ultimately, they were unconscious decisions. And as an adult, you have an ability to respond or responsibility when you find a limiting belief, and that is to make a new empowered decision.
1:12:49The
1:12:51decision matrix. The decision matrix. That's great, man.
1:12:55I've got a couple final questions for you. This has been really powerful.
1:12:58I want people to check out your work. Before I ask the final questions. They can go to your podcast called a change mind.
1:13:05You're also on YouTube. You got a great YouTube channel sharing a lot of this information. David Bayer thirty three on Instagram and YouTube.
1:13:13And wholehuman.com/greatness. For anyone here watching or listening, your team's created a free assessment that identifies people's two biggest limiting beliefs and gives you a powerful tool tool to transform them.
1:13:25So guys can anyone can check out wholehuman.com/greatness to check out the free assessment as well. Um, this question is called the three truths.
1:13:35Imagine you live to a 125, healthy, whole human life, but it's the last day.
1:13:40Your creator says, time to go here to the next place. And you get to create and manifest anything you want from now until that moment. But for whatever reason, you have to take everything with you.
1:13:53Nothing can be left behind. Your book, your work, your content, no one has access to this information anymore. But on your final day, you get to leave behind three truths, three things you know to be true or three lessons that you would leave behind.
1:14:06What would those three truths be for you?
1:14:09Oh, man. I've heard you ask this question on so many episodes. Now I have to answer it.
1:14:16Yeah. You gotta answer it.
1:14:20I I think one truth or encouragement is to believe in the certainty of the goodness of the future. That would be one. The second truth would be that life is always working for your greatest growth, your greatest prosperity, your greatest evolution.
1:14:36And I think the third truth well, I think Jesus said it best.
1:14:42All things are possible to he that believeth. Mhmm. Yeah.
1:14:46I wanna acknowledge you, David, for the journey you've been on. You know? For me, it's like you're you're 50.
1:14:53You have a child who's 3.5, and you've gone through a big transformation in the last five years. You've got a lot of wisdom to share. So I acknowledge you for putting it in the book, for doing the the weekly podcast, for sharing this information, and for creating frameworks around the suffering and the pain you've experienced to try to give peace and resolution for people in their lives so they can understand how to go through the process better.
1:15:17And I think when people have gone through enough pain and shame and guilt and beating themselves up and have done the work like yourself and all the different programs, you can take kind of the best of those programs and share what's worked for you.
1:15:29So I wanna acknowledge you for doing that work, for suffering for as long as you did, and getting through it on the other side to finding more peace and purpose in your life and helping so many people. It's been really cool to connect and and hear more about the book.
1:15:43So appreciate that acknowledgment. Thank you Final question.
1:15:46What's your definition of greatness?
1:15:49Greatness is becoming who you came here to be, living your authentic self. My man.
1:15:56Yeah. Thanks for being here, brother. Thank you, brother.
1:15:57Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Yeah.
1:15:58Powerful. If you look at the lowest level of consciousness, what I call the the victim mentality, it's a level that I call I would have the the house, the car, the body, the money, the whatever, but everything happens to me.
1:16:10All stress comes from life not fitting your features, and the friction that that causes is really where most people get stuck.
The Hook

The bait, then the rug-pull.

David Bayer opens with the line that anchors the whole conversation: desire plus nonresistance equals desired result. The cold open plays it like a magic formula, but what follows is a working theory of why wanting something and having it stay just out of reach isn't bad luck — it's a belief made in childhood, still running in the background.

CTA Breakdown

How they asked for the click.

MENTIONED ON CAMERA
1:11:40linkwholehuman.com/greatness — free limiting belief assessment ↗
FROM THE DESCRIPTION
OTHER LINKSAlso linked in the description.
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