The argument in one line.
Most people tell forgettable stories not because their lives are boring but because they default to the wrong structure, generic language, and passive delivery — and all three are correctable with a handful of deliberate habits.
Read if. Skip if.
READ IF YOU ARE…
- You want a single, usable story structure you can apply in meetings, casual conversation, or on stage within a week.
- You struggle to remember good stories when you need them most and want a system for capturing and retrieving them.
- You feel your stories are technically correct but fail to land emotionally with audiences.
- You are preparing for a presentation, job interview, or public speaking event and need a fast-track framework.
- You already know storytelling matters but have never had a systematic way to practice it outside expensive coaches.
SKIP IF…
- You are a professional fiction writer — this is entirely focused on oral, conversational, and business storytelling.
- You want advanced performance coaching on voice modulation or stagecraft; this stays at the conceptual-and-habit level.
The full version, fast.
The central argument is that great storytelling is a learnable craft, not a personality trait. The CART framework (Context, Adversity, Resolution, Takeaway) gives any story a working structure in two minutes or less. Layer in show-don’t-tell techniques, specific language, character depth, raised stakes, and visible transformation — then build a story bank, run daily story-spotting exercises, and rehearse with cheap language tutors rather than expensive coaches. The video closes with the most underrated habit: committing to a public storytelling event before you feel ready, because deadline pressure accelerates learning faster than passive study.
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00:00 – 00:31
01 · Intro
Coaching pedigree + promise: 20 lessons, everything you need.
00:31 – 01:53
02 · Lesson 1 — Don’t use the S-Word
Replace ‘story’ with ‘experience,’ ‘case,’ or ‘event’ to bypass listener resistance.
01:53 – 04:16
03 · Lesson 2 — Start Story Strong
Three opening techniques: jump into action, ask a question, use a cliffhanger.
04:16 – 09:39
04 · Lesson 3 — CART Structure
Context, Adversity, Resolution, Takeaway — a four-step framework for 1-2 minute oral stories.
09:39 – 12:25
05 · Lesson 4 — Show, Don’t Tell
Three techniques: dialogue, action, metaphor. Show the emotion rather than naming it.
12:25 – 15:21
06 · Lesson 5 — Build a Story Bank
Five-field capture system. Host has 141 stories after four years. Free template in description.
15:21 – 18:21
07 · Lesson 6 — Find Magic in the Mundane
Matthew Dix’s Homework for Life: daily one-line story-worthy moment. Small moments beat extreme events.
18:21 – 21:04
08 · Lesson 7 — Share Tiny Stories
Use ‘How are you?’ as the daily practice arena. Replace weather/traffic with a 30-second real moment.
21:04 – 22:40
09 · Lesson 8 — Build Anticipation
Sell the story before you start; insert mini-cliffhangers to maintain dopamine through the middle.
22:40 – 25:19
10 · Lesson 9 — Bring Characters to Life
Physical traits, quirks, dreams/fears. Don’t be a stormtrooper — nameless characters get no sympathy.
25:19 – 27:30
11 · Lesson 10 — Make It Emotional
Share the character’s internal thoughts; show emotions on body and face rather than labeling them.
27:30 – 30:00
12 · Lesson 11 — Act Out Key Moments
Three techniques: show actions physically, show reactions, impersonate other characters.
30:00 – 32:52
13 · Lesson 12 — Break Expectations
Pink cow principle + Nordstrom tire refund story. The moment the audience predicts the ending, they check out.
32:52 – 35:32
14 · Lesson 13 — Turn Up the Heat
Raise stakes via emotional goals, impact on others, time pressure. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire as the frame.
35:32 – 37:32
15 · Lesson 14 — Show the Change
No transformation equals forgettable. Columbia MBA friend who told only stasis stories. Avatar as the model.
37:32 – 40:45
16 · Lesson 15 — Keep It Simple
Analysis of 97 stories: top-rated readable at fifth-grade level. Short sentences, no jargon, conversational register.
40:45 – 44:13
17 · Lesson 16 — Uncover Forgotten Stories
Stream-of-consciousness journaling: pick a prompt, set a 5-minute timer, write without editing.
44:13 – 46:45
18 · Lesson 17 — Avoid Generic Language
Driving 120 mph on the German Autobahn in a 10-year-old Toyota Prius vs driving in my car. Specificity reveals character.
46:45 – 49:55
19 · Lesson 18 — Memorize SME
Start word-for-word, key Moments as scene snapshots, End word-for-word. The middle flows naturally between anchors.
49:55 – 51:50
20 · Lesson 19 — Rehearse With a Tutor
Language tutors on Preply/Italki: $3/hr, live audience feedback, no awkwardness.
51:50 – 54:14
21 · Lesson 20 — Commit to a Big Goal
Commit now, figure it out later. Stand-up comedy origin story. The Moth and Risk open mic nights.
54:14 – 54:43
22 · Outro
Comment with favorite lesson. Plug for next public speaking video.
Lines worth screenshotting.
- Saying ‘let me tell you a story’ primes some listeners for a long fairy tale — replace it with ‘experience,’ ‘example,’ or ‘event’ to lower resistance.
- You have seven seconds to hook an audience; spending them on context-setting is the single fastest way to lose the room.
- The CART structure fits any story under two minutes and works in casual conversation, not just on stage.
- The Hero’s Journey has 17 steps and takes two hours — it is designed for films, not for the stories you tell at work or with friends.
- A story bank of 141 stories took four years of daily one-line entries; the payoff is having the right story available the moment you need it.
- The ‘Homework for Life’ exercise asks one question every evening: if I had to tell a story from today, what would it be? After a few weeks, ordinary days feel full of material.
- The best stories are not extreme events — extreme events are unrelatable. Great storytellers find the ordinary moment and render it extraordinary.
- Building anticipation before you start a story creates a dopamine loop; listeners who are not hooked will quietly go looking for a cheaper dopamine source.
- Stormtroopers die by the dozens and no one grieves — audiences only care about characters they know. One physical detail, one quirk, one dream is enough.
- Emotions create long-term memory: a meeting from last week is mostly gone; a story that made you feel something at age ten is still intact.
- Acting out the story — bending to pick up the orange, taking three steps to open the door — makes it more vivid than any verbal description.
- Change is the difference between a story that entertains once and a story that sticks for years; a character who ends the same as they started leaves nothing to hold onto.
- The highest-rated stories in a study of 97 were readable by a fifth-grader; complexity is not a proxy for intelligence, it is a barrier to connection.
- Memorizing a story word-for-word makes it sound rehearsed; memorize only the Start, the key Moments, and the End — let the middle flow naturally.
- Language tutors on Preply or Italki cost as little as $3 an hour and provide live audience feedback without the awkwardness of repeatedly asking the same friend.
- Signing up for a storytelling open mic before you are ready teaches more in three weeks of forced preparation than a year of passive study.
- Raising the stakes means naming what the character can win or lose — shallow goals produce shallow tension; emotional goals produce investment.
- Stream-of-consciousness journaling with a five-minute timer and a single prompt surfaces past stories the memory filed as ordinary but that contain real emotional weight.
- Generic language tells you almost nothing about character; specific language — 120 mph on the German Autobahn in a ten-year-old Toyota Prius — reveals personality in one sentence.
- Commit now, figure it out later: deadline pressure of a public commitment compresses learning that would otherwise take months of passive preparation.
Twenty lessons that make any story stick.
WHAT TO LEARN
Storytelling is not a talent — it is a system, and this video delivers all twenty components of that system in a single sitting.
01Intro
02Lesson 1 — Don’t use the S-Word
- The word ‘story’ can trigger negative expectations in some listeners; swapping it for ‘experience,’ ‘example,’ or ‘case’ removes that friction before you even begin.
03Lesson 2 — Start Story Strong
- Seven seconds is all you have at the open — spending them on context kills attention before the story starts; jump into action, ask a question, or open on a cliffhanger.
04Lesson 3 — CART Structure
- The CART framework (Context, Adversity, Resolution, Takeaway) gives any oral story a working structure in under two minutes — far more practical than the Hero’s Journey for everyday use.
05Lesson 4 — Show, Don’t Tell
- Show, don’t tell means replacing emotion labels with dialogue, physical action, and metaphor; ‘she kept twisting her ring’ lands harder than ‘she was nervous.’
06Lesson 5 — Build a Story Bank
- A story bank with five simple fields — title, point, summary, use case, rating — means you always have the right story available rather than drawing a blank when it matters.
07Lesson 6 — Find Magic in the Mundane
- The ‘Homework for Life’ daily exercise trains story-spotting in ordinary life: one line per day compounds into hundreds of usable stories within months.
08Lesson 7 — Share Tiny Stories
- Using ‘how are you?’ as a daily practice arena for tiny stories removes the need for a perfect occasion and accelerates skill faster than waiting for big moments.
09Lesson 8 — Build Anticipation
- Anticipation is manufactured, not inherited: a teaser sentence before the story and mini-cliffhangers throughout keep audiences in a dopamine loop rather than drifting.
10Lesson 9 — Bring Characters to Life
- Audiences only care about characters they know — one physical trait, one quirk, and one dream or fear is enough to make a character real.
11Lesson 10 — Make It Emotional
- Emotions anchor memory; what a character thinks and physically feels in the crucial moment is what listeners will still remember years later.
12Lesson 11 — Act Out Key Moments
- Acting out key moments — physically bending, stepping, impersonating other voices — adds a dimension that verbal description alone cannot reach.
13Lesson 12 — Break Expectations
- Unexpected twists and resolutions keep audiences present; the moment they can predict the ending, their attention goes somewhere else.
14Lesson 13 — Turn Up the Heat
- Raising the stakes through emotional goals, impact on others, and time pressure makes audiences care about the outcome rather than just following the plot.
15Lesson 14 — Show the Change
- A story without transformation is forgettable entertainment; showing how the character changed — in belief, habit, or relationship — is what makes it stick.
16Lesson 15 — Keep It Simple
- The highest-rated stories in a 97-story analysis read at a fifth-grade level; simplicity is not dumbing down, it is removing friction between meaning and listener.
17Lesson 16 — Uncover Forgotten Stories
- Stream-of-consciousness journaling with a five-minute timer and a single prompt surfaces past memories the brain filed as unremarkable but that carry real emotional weight.
18Lesson 17 — Avoid Generic Language
- Specific details reveal character: the exact car model, the exact speed, the exact location tell a listener more about who you are than paragraphs of self-description.
19Lesson 18 — Memorize SME
- Memorizing only the Start, key Moments, and End of a story prevents both the robotic over-rehearsed sound and the word-searching stumble — the middle flows naturally between anchors.
20Lesson 19 — Rehearse With a Tutor
- Language tutors at $3 an hour provide live audience feedback without the awkwardness of repeatedly asking the same friend, and without the cost of a professional coach.
21Lesson 20 — Commit to a Big Goal
- Committing to a public storytelling event before you feel ready — an open mic, a team meeting, a family gathering — compresses months of passive learning into weeks of forced preparation.
22Outro
Terms worth knowing.
- CART structure
- A four-step story framework: Context (scene-setting), Adversity (the conflict), Resolution (how it resolves), Takeaway (the lesson). Designed for 1-2 minute oral stories, not long-form narrative.
- Story bank
- A personal database of past stories organized by title, core message, summary, use case, and audience rating. The goal is to have the right story retrievable on demand.
- Homework for Life
- A daily journaling exercise from storyteller Matthew Dix: each evening, note the one moment from the day that would make the most interesting story. Over weeks it trains the habit of noticing story-worthy material in ordinary life.
- SME memorization
- A rehearsal technique: memorize the Start and End of a story word for word; memorize the middle as a sequence of key scene snapshots. Produces delivery that feels natural rather than recited.
- Show, don’t tell
- The principle of conveying emotion through dialogue, physical action, and metaphor rather than direct statement. ‘She kept twisting her ring’ shows nervousness; ‘she was nervous’ merely labels it.
- Building anticipation
- Priming listeners with a teaser sentence before the story begins, and inserting mini-cliffhangers throughout, so the audience is actively wanting to hear what happens next.
- Stream-of-consciousness journaling
- A timed, unedited writing exercise — typically five minutes — triggered by a single prompt, used to surface forgotten past memories that can be developed into stories.
- Raising the stakes
- Making the potential win or loss in a story emotionally significant: what the character wants, who else is affected, and any time pressure. Higher stakes create higher audience investment.
Things they pointed at.
53:35channelRisk (storytelling open mic)
Lines you could clip.
01:58
“You have seven seconds to grab your audience’s attention.”
13:20
“A story bank is like having a savings account for your stories.”
35:45
“Change is the difference between a story that people forget and a story that sticks.”
38:00
“The highest-rated stories could be understood by a fifth grader.”
51:57
“Commit now, figure it out later.”
Word for word.
Read-along
Don't just watch it. Burn it in.
See every word as it's spoken — crank it to 2× and still catch all of it. The same dual-channel trick behind Amazon's Kindle + Audible.
metaphoranalogystory
00:02By now, I've coached thousands of people on storytelling, gave storytelling workshops to companies like Google, MetLife, Visa, and many more. And I've also published the number one bestseller, the story selling method.
00:15Now, the stuff that you're about to learn has taken me years to figure out. To save you the time, I'm gonna compress everything that I know into 20 lessons. After this video, you'll know everything you ever need to know to tell insanely good stories.
00:31First lesson, don't use the s word. A few weeks ago, I was leading this storytelling workshop here in The Netherlands. And at one point, one of the participants, he stood up and began with, oh, let me tell you a story.
00:42Okay? And right in that moment, interrupted him. Woah.
00:45Hold on there. Can you start over, but this time without the s word? Confused, he said, what's the s word?
00:52I said, it's story. Can you start your story without saying, oh, let me tell you a story. Now why should you avoid saying story?
01:01Because some people, certainly not everyone, but some people hear the word story and it triggers almost like this negative expectation. They may think, oh, great. Here it comes, a fifteen minute fairy tale.
01:16Do we really have time for this? Good thing is you can easily avoid that reaction. So instead of saying story, say experience, case, example, or event.
01:28For instance, if you're sharing a story in front of your friends, you can say, two weeks ago, I had this crazy, crazy experience, and then launch into your story.
01:38Or if you're sharing a story at work, you can say, let me quickly share an example to really show that point. Okay?
01:45And then launch into your story. It's a subtle but very important shift. And with that clear, let's now look into the next lesson.
01:54Second lesson, start story strong or SSS. You have seven seconds to grab your audience's attention.
02:01If you spend those crucial seconds setting expectations or providing so much context, you know what happens.
02:09What should I eat for dinner tonight? Pizza or pasta?
02:16Wait. What is that guy even talking about? You only have one chance to make this first impression.
02:23Make it count. Obviously, you don't have to do that, well, unless you want to, which is also cool. But let me now share three ways to start your story strong.
02:33First, jump into action. Jump into the scene where something is happening. Make the character do something.
02:39Talking, biking, stepping, reading, anything that brings in forward momentum. Example, I stood in front of the manager's door, took a big breath, knocked three times, and slowly opened the door.
02:53As I peeked inside, I saw my manager, the head of HR. Immediately, I knew this wasn't good. Second, ask a question.
03:02Ask a question that makes your audience reflect on their own experiences or feelings. It's a great way to make them think and connect with your story. Example, have you ever wondered what it would be like to just walk away from everything that you've ever known and start over?
03:20Well, that's exactly what I did when I packed my bags and moved across the entire country. And third, use a cliffhanger. Start your story as close as possible to the most crucial part of the story.
03:34Show your listeners that this moment is gonna be huge, but don't share everything yet. Example, I was standing in my room with a letter in my hand.
03:44I knew that was it. I knew that this letter would change my life forever.
03:51But, hey, let's wind back to when it started. All of those three hooks work incredibly well.
03:58If you start your story strong, your audience will be with you in that story, fully present. Now the hook is crucial, but I guess if the foundation is not great, you won't be able to keep their attention.
04:12To have the right foundation, the next lesson is absolutely essential. Third lesson, master one story structure.
04:20Now when I started on my storytelling journey, I had this moment that made me question how storytelling is taught. Back in 2020, I took this very expensive storytelling course here in The Netherlands.
04:32There, they taught the hero's journey, which is that beautiful 17 step story structure used in films like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Now I love that structure, and I thought, oh, I'm gonna try this out at work.
04:45I'm sure the customer will love it. So next day, I'm in a meeting with that customer launching into my breathtaking story, expecting the client to be blown away.
04:56Well, that didn't exactly happen. Halfway into the story, the customer started to look away and and almost felt like he was uncomfortable with my story.
05:09After hearing my story, he awkwardly ended the call and said, oh, thanks. Okay?
05:14We'll be in touch. Alright? And he left the call confused.
05:19I sat there and I thought, wait. What just went wrong? It wasn't until I called my sister that I realized the problem.
05:27She said, Philip, obviously, your stories are too big, too long.
05:32Hey, this is not a TED talk. This is a casual conversation. And there it hit me.
05:38The structure that they teach in most of the courses, it's useful for these big stages, but it's completely useless for the stories we tell in front of our friends or at work. Those casual stories should be one to two minutes long, and in one to two minutes, you don't have the time to cover 17 steps of the hero's journey.
05:59You need something much simpler but still effective. That's when I developed a structure that changed my life, and that will work for almost any of the stories that you will tell. It's called c a r t or CART, and it's made up of four steps, context, adversity, resolution, and takeaway.
06:18Think of your structure like this card in the supermarket that holds together all of the awesome ingredients or elements of your story. Or I guess if you also wanna remember it, just remember it rhymes on fart. Let's break it down.
06:32Step one, context. First, set the scene for your story. Give your listener some basic context.
06:39Where and when does the story take place? Who's the main character? And what do they want?
06:43Example. It was October 2019. I was in Amsterdam rushing to the train station.
06:49I had to be there on time to catch the train for my job interview. The company that I've always dreamed about, they'd invited me for an interview. That's it.
06:59Who, when, where, what. Boom. Just a few sentences to establish the setting and then move into the most important part of the story as quickly as possible.
07:09Step two, adversity. Next, you wanna introduce the conflict or the challenge that that main character faces. This is really the heart of the story.
07:19This is where things go wrong or where the tension builds. Now the adversity can be anything, difficult decision, another person, an challenge, a physical challenge, anything as long as it's substantial for that main character.
07:32Example, as I reached the station, I realized I left my wallet at home. I mean, panic set in and I thought, how am I gonna pay for the train?
07:41What if I miss my interview? I searched every single pocket, but I just couldn't find my wallet. And this is really the part where the tension builds up.
07:51Show what is at stake. Let us know how the character feels in that moment. This step is usually the longest and most engaging part of the story.
08:00Step three, resolution. Now you wanna describe how the character deals with that adversity.
08:06What actions do they take? What decisions do they make? And crucially, how does the story resolve at the end?
08:13Example, just when I thought that I'd missed my train, I saw a woman who saw my panic approach me and offered me to buy my ticket. I couldn't believe it.
08:25I made it to my interview just in time. Up to this point, the story is an interesting story, but your listeners don't really know why you're telling them that story. That's when you move into the last step.
08:36Step four, take away. Finally, tell your audience what you learned from that experience.
08:42What realization did you have? What is the point of going through all of that? Example, what I learned from that experience is that unexpected help shows up when you need it the most.
08:53And I guess also to just double check my pockets the next time I leave my house. When you share that takeaway, avoid things like saying, the moral of the story or you should take away. Why?
09:05Because that can make you sound a little bit preachy. Instead, frame it as something you learned as a little bit softer, less preacher ish.
09:13Okay? Mastering this simple four step structure, context, adversity, resolution, takeaway will give your stories this really strong foundation.
09:23It's quick to learn, flexible enough to adapt to most situation, and it helps your story really to be clear, concise, and at the end engaging. But hey, you can still tell a pretty average story by having a great structure.
09:36That's why the next lesson is absolutely crucial. Lesson number four, show, don't tell.
09:43One of the golden rules in storytelling is to show, don't tell. So instead of directly telling your audience how the character feels, show how it looks. Show the emotions, the actions, the environment, and bring your listeners into the story.
09:58It should feel as if the story was happening to them. But not gonna lie, when I first heard show, don't tell, didn't really get it. Back then, I had no interest in writing a novel.
10:10It seemed that all of that advice out there was for writers. Now listening to thousands of oral stories, I realized that there are actually three techniques of show don't tell that are super simple but very, effective. First technique, use dialogue.
10:27Dialogue is a powerful tool for showing rather than telling. So instead of saying what someone felt or thought, share the exact words of that moment. Let their words, their interactions reveal that emotion.
10:40Example, before, he was angry with me.
10:44After that moment, he snapped. Are you kidding me? You said you'd be here on time.
10:50And now look. Oh, man. Everything is ruined.
10:53Through this exchange, you get a sense of that character's anger without explicitly saying it. Second technique, show through action. Actions speak louder than words.
11:03What a character does reveals much more about their feelings and intentions than simply stating them. Use physical movements and behaviors to convey that emotional intention.
11:15Example, before she was nervous. After, she kept fidgeting with her ring, twisting it around her finger, taking it off, just looking at that clock every few seconds. Those actions convey the nervousness much more effectively than just saying, oh, she was nervous.
11:34Third technique, show through metaphors. Another great way to show rather than tell is through metaphors, analogies, and comparisons.
11:43This can help convey the emotions in a much more engaging, much more creative way. Example, before, the kids were excited.
11:52After, the kids' excitement was like this wildfire spreading as they chattered and jumped with enthusiasm.
12:02Now that comparison helps the audience feel the energy in the room. By showing instead of telling, you allow your audience to experience the story firsthand as if it was happening to them.
12:15The more you show, the more immersive your storytelling is gonna be. But hey, that next lesson is actually a lesson I wish I had learned right when I started on this journey.
12:25Lesson number five, build a story bank. For my book, public speaking with confidence, I asked the 2019 world champion of public speaking, Aaron Beverley, hey, Aaron, how do you prepare for your speech?
12:38His response was simple but blew my mind. He said, I have a story file where I know done anything that could be slightly more interesting.
12:48Once I'm invited to give that speech, well, then I'll just review my entries, and I'll look for a story that could potentially work with that audience. Sure.
12:57Your ambition may not be to be the next world champion of public speaking, but I'd encourage you to do the same. Build a story bank. If you rely on your memory alone to remember those stories, your stories will start slipping away.
13:11That's exactly what happened to me. Before, I used to forget most of my stories. That all changed only about four years ago when I started my story bank.
13:21Now the story bank is this dedicated place where I record and categorize all of my stories. Sure.
13:29It takes me a few minutes to document those stories, but the payoff, it's enormous. Today, my story bank holds, I think, around 141 stories, still counting.
13:40Now the incredible thing is that I can use those stories for the rest of my life. They're there for me whenever I need them, whether I'm delivering a speech, engaging in a meeting, or just telling a story in front of friends. So what should you capture in your story bank?
13:56Now, I try to keep it pretty simple, and I focus on five things. First, a title.
14:02A short title that helps you remember the story. Second, point. That's the core message or point that you wanna convey.
14:09Third, a summary. Just a few bullets to help you remember the story. Fourth, use case.
14:15So the situations in which that story could be useful. And then lastly, rating.
14:20A rating of how much you enjoy telling that story or also how much, uh, your audience likes your story. Now you might be wondering, look.
14:29Where should I store all of these stories? Now the answer is wherever works best for you.
14:35I use Notion because I can then access it while traveling, and I can update it from anywhere. But it doesn't really matter if you use Google Docs, Evernote, Notion, or even a physical journey. But to make it even easier for you, I've created a template of my story bank, which I'll link in the description below.
14:53That way, you don't have to spend hours building a story bank from scratch. Now a story bank is like having a savings account for your stories.
15:00Each time you add a story, you're investing in your ability to tell more impactful stories. The more stories you have in your story bank, the more you'll be prepared to inspire, connect, and entertain others.
15:13Now at first, that story bank might still be a little bit empty, but that's where the next lesson comes in super handy. Lesson number six, find magic in the mundane.
15:25When I started on my storytelling journey, I thought those great stories are big stories, like the TED type of stories, like the time I almost died climbing in Rio De Janeiro, or the time I met God while doing some while participating in some crazy Ayahuasca ceremony in the Amazon. Now after studying some of the best storytellers out there, I realized that that actually wasn't the case.
15:48In fact, it's often not recommended to tell these big stories. Now, why not? Because those stories are not relatable.
15:58Storytelling is about building a connection. When you share the story about this extreme event, you're not building a connection. You're pushing the audience away.
16:08It's too far to remove from everyday life. The best storytellers know this, and they focus instead on these smaller moments. But the difference is that they tell these small moments so skillfully that they almost appear as this extraordinary event.
16:25So how can you spot those small moments? There is an exercise called homework for life by Matthew Dix. Now it is the only exercise I've been doing every single day for four years now.
16:37And if you take anything away from today, let it be this. Here's how it works. At the end of each day, take a moment and ask yourself, if I had to tell a story from today, what would it be?
16:49You're not looking for something huge, just a small act of kindness, a funny conversation, or even that small thing that annoyed you. Anything that touched your heart. And once you have that moment, write down the date and that story worthy moment.
17:04For example, today was August 22, and my story worthy moment was feeling proud after cooking curry for dinner.
17:13Now, just quick context, that was a huge moment for me because I haven't cooked in like fourteen months. I usually just order or eat outside, so I felt really like this grown up today. But anyway, I'm probably sharing a little too much information here.
17:28Probably thinking what a weirdo right now. Anyhow, what about you?
17:32What was your story worthy moment today? Let me know in the comments. Now, what's in it for you?
17:39At first, your entries might not seem overly special. They may look something like, oh, I really enjoyed this peanut butter sandwich this morning or I took the bus to work. But over time, you start to notice more and more of those story worthy moments.
17:53You'll realize that your life is actually full of stories. You just gotta spot them. If you stick to that exercise just for a few weeks, you'll soon have this suitcase of stories ready to share because those small moments, that's where really the best stories are often hiding.
18:12But let's say you do this for a while, but how can you then actually start sharing these mini moments with the world? Here's where the next lesson comes in.
18:21Lesson number seven, share tiny stories. Even though I knew how to tell stories, it took me actually quite a while to actually share them. I just couldn't figure out when and where to drop a story.
18:33Most of the times, I only realized that hours and hours later, was like, ah, Philip, you're so stupid. You could have used the story in that moment. And that only changed when I developed one simple habit.
18:45Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to tell this big story, I started telling these tiny stories in one specific situation. Whenever someone asked me, how are you? Before I'd give this usual boring answer, would say something like, oh, good.
19:00Thanks. Or, oh, yeah. Great.
19:02Finally, the sun is out. But after this change, I began sharing a tiny story instead. Example, if someone were to ask me today, how are you?
19:13I'd respond like this. I'm good. Actually, today, I feel like such a grown up today.
19:19Uh, I cooked vegetable curry, and I know this sounds like nothing, but for me, it was huge. I hadn't cooked in, like, fourteen month. Usually, I just order.
19:28But today, Samoa, I felt like it is time to be an adult. Anyway, what about you? When was the last time that you tried something new, and how was that for you?
19:38That's it. A tiny story that shares a little bit more about me as a person. So what kind of things can you actually say when someone asks you, how are you?
19:48Now I try to respond with anything that is more engaging than weather or traffic. That could be maybe has there been something interesting that has happened to you? I mean, have you picked up this new skill that is interesting to share?
20:01Or is there even this small thing that annoyed you but is still kinda funny to share? Now you might be wondering, hey, um, isn't this super awkward, like, to share something unsolicited? Like, no one asked for that.
20:13Absolutely. Yeah. It's super weird at the beginning.
20:17But what I can tell you now, after using those stories hundreds and hundreds of times, it's absolutely worth it. Try it out. Gather your own data points.
20:27Not only will you become this better storyteller, but you'll also spark more meaningful conversations with coworkers, friends, and even strangers.
20:36But hey, let's now move into the next lesson. That lesson, that is that is a must have in any story.
20:44Next lesson, build anticipation. Imagine you're super hungry and you just ordered a meal from your favorite restaurant.
20:53You can't wait for the food to arrive. Every minute, you check your phone, you just look for it.
20:58The delivery guy's only ten minutes away. You sit there and you're like so excited. You're like, oh, I can't wait for the food to arrive.
21:05When it will arrive, ah. Now, that sensation of waiting, craving, and desire, that is what dopamine creates.
21:13You want to create that same sensation for your audience when telling your story. Well, not that you want your audience to think of food, you want them to be on the edges of their seats dying to find out what happens next. So how do you build anticipation?
21:28First, sell your story. Before you go into your story, say a sentence to get your listeners excited about the story, something that immediately piques their interest and makes them want to hear the rest of the story.
21:43Example, just yesterday, I had an experience that completely changed my outlook on life.
21:50Or two weeks ago, I had the worst meeting of my life. Second, drop mini cliffhangers.
21:59Now hooking them at the start is good, but don't just hook them there. Try to insert these mini cliffhangers throughout your story.
22:08Example, just when I thought that I had everything under control, my phone rang with a message that made my heart stop. As I walked down the alley, I heard some footsteps behind me.
22:20But when I turned around, no one was there. So try to include a few hooks throughout your entire story. Now what happens if you don't hook them?
22:29Well, your listeners will then just look for other cheap sources of dopamine. Avoid that by including a few sentences that raise the anticipation. Next lesson, bring your characters to life.
22:43Just last week, I watched Star Wars episode two for, I think, the fifth time now. It's so freaking good. Uh, anyway, at one point, like, pretty much every Star Wars, dozens of stormtroopers were killed.
22:57And for those of you who haven't watched Star Wars before, stormtroopers, they're the bad guys. Now as I sat on my couch, seeing all these bodies of the stormtroopers pile up, I noticed that I was feeling happy, relieved.
23:13I somehow didn't feel any sympathy whatsoever for the stormtroopers. Now why is that? Now one reason could be that I'm a very troubled person that, yeah, I have a lot of problems.
23:24That could be one reason. But the more likely reason is that I don't know anything about the stormtroopers. They're these faceless, nameless creatures I don't know anything about.
23:34For Star Wars, it makes sense because they don't want us to sympathize with the bad guys. But for our stories, oftentimes, we don't share anything about the main character that makes our audience care.
23:47So how can you avoid that? How can you bring your characters to life? First, describe the physical characteristics.
23:55You can describe the character's appearance like clothing, body type, or even gadgets in any way that makes it more memorable.
24:03Give the details that really stick to your audience's mind. Example, she had this bright and infectious smile that just could light up any room.
24:12Also, her curly hair looked like she had just stepped out of this wind tunnel. Second, reveal their quirks and traits.
24:20Now, you can share the unique traits or habits that make your character stand out and feel real. Example, he had a habit that he couldn't start his day without making sure that every item on his desk was perfectly aligned. And third, share their dreams and fears.
24:41Show what drives the character and what they're afraid of. Now that adds depth and makes your audience empathize, cheer for them.
24:49Example, her biggest dream was to open this small bakery and really bring joy to her community. But her fear of failing just capture her from taking that plunge.
25:02When you bring your character to life, your audience will connect with them and care about their journey. So remember, don't be a stormtrooper.
25:11Let's now go to the next lesson. That lesson is probably the one that is the easiest to make any story more interesting.
25:19Lesson number 10, make it emotional. Quickly, think about a childhood memory.
25:24It can be any memory that pops to your mind. Maybe it was this birthday party, maybe it was a family holiday, or maybe it was this school performance. Now, how old were you at that time?
25:34And also, what did you feel in that moment? Also, why do you think you remember that moment?
25:41I tell you why. It's because of the emotions you felt in that moment. These can be pleasurable emotions like happy or excited or painful emotions like fear and sadness.
25:52Now compare that with how much you remember from, let's say, a meeting you had a week ago or of that encounter with a friend a week ago. You probably forgot 99% of what you talked about in that meeting.
26:04If you want to connect to your listeners and be remembered almost years and years down the line, you've gotta tell a story that touches them emotionally. So how can you infuse emotions into your story?
26:17There are two techniques that I love more than anything else. First technique, share the thoughts. Let us know what the character is thinking in that crucial moment of the story.
26:27What are the hopes, the dreams, the fears, the plans that are going on in the character's mind? Example, before, I was beating myself up over gaining another 10 pounds. After, I thought, I'm useless.
26:41Why is it so hard for me to just eat like a normal person? I don't even have the willpower to go one day without sugar. Second, show the emotions.
26:52Show the emotions rather than just telling the emotions. Show us what the emotion looks like on the body and on the face when experiencing that emotion. Example, before, I was stressed about the deadline.
27:04After, my chest felt tight tight thinking about that deadline. It was like this weight pressing me down, made really hard to breathe.
27:13By sharing the thoughts and showing the emotions, your audience will find it much easier to visualize, feel, but also to remember your story. Let me now share another lesson.
27:25And I've seen some very average stories land incredibly well only because of that.
27:32Lesson number 11, act out key moments. Now, how do you use your voice, your body, your emotions to tell your story?
27:40Well, there are different styles on this one. Some use it very little. They rely a 100% on their voice or on their story.
27:47Others use them quite a lot. As you can probably see, I like to use my voice and my body to bring the story to life. I'm acting out parts of my story, but hey, look, I'm not a professional actor and your point either, but that does mean that we cannot use some of their techniques to bring our stories to life.
28:04Now there are three techniques that are pretty easy that you can try out in your next story. First technique, show in action. If you say, I bend down to pick up that orange.
28:14Well, actually, bend down and pick up that orange and hold that imaginary orange in your hand. Or if you say, well, I walked across the hall and opened the door. Well, then take a few steps, pretend to open that door, and go inside.
28:29Show the action. Don't just describe it. Second technique, show reactions.
28:34Now in life, something happens, we react. Whether it's raising our voice when we get angry or with laughing when we're happy or speaking very softly when we're sad, we react.
28:45But somehow when we tell our stories, we suppress those reactions to appear more professional. Don't do that.
28:53Show the reactions. Re live the emotions. If the moment was joyful, well, let the joy come through expression and in your tone.
29:02If if the moment was sad, well, then don't be afraid to show that sadness. Show the reaction. Third technique, impersonate a character.
29:11Now, most stories involve more than one person, and dialogue, as you know, is a great way to make any story come alive. Now, when you include a conversation in your story, try to impersonate the other character involved.
29:24For example, if you're sharing a conversation you had with your mom, well then impersonate your mom while sharing the dialogue. Give your audience a sense of who she is, mimic her tone of voice, her posture, her body language.
29:37Capture her personality. Example. In that moment, my mom said, Philip, why did you do that?
29:44You had one job, and that was to take care of the dog. You couldn't even do that. I know.
29:51It may feel awkward at first to act out parts of your story, but trust me, doing so makes your story much more vivid, much more compelling. Give it a try. Lesson number 12, break expectations.
30:03Imagine you lived on the countryside, and every day you drive to work. Along the way, you see bunch of fields there, cows grazing, but you don't even recognize that. You're just on autopilot.
30:14But on this one day, same route, you look to the left and you're like, woah. That's a pink cow. Crazy.
30:20A pink cow. I've never seen a pink cow in my life. You arrive at work and you tell everyone about that pink cow.
30:26You'll remember that pink cow for the rest of your life. This is the essence of breaking expectations. We as humans, we're great at spotting patterns.
30:38But as soon as we think that something is predictable, we tune out. The moment your audience knows where the story is going, they'll start thinking about other stuff.
30:48They won't be there with you. What should I watch tonight?
30:53Modern Family, The Office. To capture their attention and to keep it, you wanna share something that your audience didn't see coming.
31:05That can be an unusual activity, an unusual event, or an unusual reaction. Anything that breaks that pattern of what is expected. Let me give you an example of a story that has a few major moments of surprise.
31:17Now this story comes from clothing retailer Nordstrom and is used to show what the company really stands for. In 1978, Craig Trownes was working as a store associate at the Nordstrom in Fairbanks, Alaska.
31:31And on this one day, Craig looked at the entrance and saw something super weird. There was this man rolling in a pair of tires into the store.
31:40Confused, Craig went up to the guy and asked, uh, excuse me, sir. Can I help you?
31:45And the guy said, yeah. Yeah. I wanted to return these tires.
31:48Craig said, uh, sir, you know that we're a clothing retailer. We don't sell any tires. It turned out that he had bought the tires from the previous tenant of that same building.
32:01Now, at first, Craig didn't know what to do with that guy. Should he just send that guy back? But then he decided to do what felt right.
32:09He called the local tire agency to get an estimate of the value of the tires. He then took in the tires and gave a refund. He gave a refund for a product that Nordstrom didn't even have.
32:22Now that's what it means to put the customer first. Did you notice which moment of the story went into a different direction than you'd expected? There was this one moment where this customer rolled a pair of tires into the store.
32:35That's weird. Right? We don't see that that often.
32:37The second moment was when Craig decided to give a refund for a product that they didn't even have. Also, massively surprising.
32:46So try to incorporate a few unexpected elements, twists, and resolutions to make your story unforgettable. Lesson number 13, turn up the heat.
32:56Imagine watching who wants to be a millionaire. Now at the beginning of the show, the stakes are still quite low. The contestant, well, they can earn few $100, but that's it.
33:06But then as the show progresses, the stakes get much higher.
33:11Each correct answer brings the contestant closer to that massive million dollar price. But to make it even harder, the time to respond goes down to fifteen seconds.
33:21At one point, the host asked the contestant, what would they do with all the money? The contestant responds and says, I'm gonna buy my dad a house to take him off the street.
33:29The audience now is dying to know if she'll secure this life changing price and make her dream a reality. That is a prime example of raising the stakes.
33:42Raising the stakes means increasing what is at risk in your story. Share the big thing that the character can win or lose in that specific situation.
33:52Raising the stakes is like turning up that heat in your story. The higher the stakes, the more intense and more engaging your story becomes.
34:01So how do you raise the stakes in your story? There are three simple ways. First, share the character's goals.
34:08Share what your main character wants to achieve. What are their hopes, their dreams, their plans?
34:14But hey, don't just share any shallow goals, share emotional goals. Share really what matters to that character. Example, I wanted to finish that marathon to prove to myself that I can do anything in life, that I don't need to play it low anymore.
34:31Second, show impact on others. You can increase the stakes even more by showing how other people are affected by the hero's actions and what will happen to them if that hero succeeds or also fails.
34:45Right? Example, I gotta get this job.
34:48If I don't get it, I won't have the money to send my daughter to college. She relies on me. And third, introduce time pressure.
34:57Now, you can make any story immediately more interesting, add a deadline or a time limit to increase the urgency and to make it even juicier. Example, I had two hours to prepare this 30 slide presentation that would be presented to the board of directors.
35:14And when you show what is at risk, your audience will care much more about the outcome, and they will become invested in your characters and also in the journey that they're on. But let's now go into a lesson that took me quite some time to find out.
35:29That lesson can actually make or break any story. Lesson number 14, show the change.
35:35During my MBA at Columbia University, I had this one friend who was a wonderful storyteller. Every single time we went out, he shared a story.
35:44A story about a time that he got super drunk, did something crazy or inappropriate. Man, I got so wasted that I passed out in the subway. It was legendary.
35:56And just a few days ago, I thought of him and I tried to remember some of his stories. To my surprise, I couldn't remember a single one of them.
36:06I at first, I couldn't understand why I didn't remember them because they were entertaining, but then I realized why. Because his stories didn't have any element of change.
36:17He was like, oh, I was that person before, did this crazy stuff, and I was that same person after. No change, no transformation, no growth, just the same old him.
36:29. To create a story that resonates, you need to show some sort of transformation.
36:39Think about it. In almost every movie or book you love, the main character undergoes some sort of change. They start out in one way and they end up completely different.
36:50Take the movie Avatar for example. At the start, Jake Sully is this disabled marine who feels lost and wants meaning in life, but then he changes into this brave leader who loves and protects Pandora's nature. For your story, show some sort of change or transformation.
37:07If, for example, if you were out of shape, well, now you're running a marathon. If you hated your sister, now you're best friends. Or if you were terrified of public speaking, well, now you love being on stage.
37:20Show the change. But hey, so far, we've only talked about the stuff to add to your story. But let's now go into a lesson that makes sure that whatever you say lands really well.
37:32Lesson number 15, keep it simple. For my book, the story selling method, I wanted to understand what language do the best storytellers use.
37:42And for that, I analyzed 97 stories.
37:45Now after listening to each one of the stories, I gave each story a score from one to 10. Now one being, ah, this is a terrible story to 10, I freaking love this story. This is so good.
37:57After that, I transcribed each one of the stories and I put the transcript into a readability tool.
38:04And what I found blew my mind. The highest rated stories could be understood by a fifth grader.
38:12That is someone that is 11 or maybe 12 years old. Great stories don't try to be too fancy or too intellectual. They focus on connecting to their audience.
38:23The simpler your language, the easier it is for your audience to connect to your story. Short and clear sentences, they stick.
38:31Complex and too flowery sentences, not so much. So how can you simplify your stories? First, break down long sentences.
38:40Instead of having this one gigantic sentence, use two or three shorter ones. Before, as I was walking down the street feeling the brisk autumn air on my face, I couldn't help but contemplate about the time I spent in America, which was an unforgettable experience that truly shaped who I am today.
39:01After, as I walked down the street, I felt this cool air on my face. Reminded me of my time in America, an experience that really changed me forever.
39:11Second, avoid jargon or fancy words. Now try to use everyday language. Even if you use stories in business, don't use too complicated words.
39:20I know we're constantly trying to look and sound smarter than we really are, but don't do that in your story. Use everyday language. Before, we need to synergize our methodologies to achieve optimal efficiency.
39:33After, we need to work together to get better results. Third, keep it conversational. Share your story as if you're talking to your best friend.
39:42It doesn't matter if you're sharing a story with one person or on a stage in front of hundreds of people. Before, upon considering the extent of possibilities, I came to the conclusion that the most efficacious route forward was to proceed with caution.
40:01After. After thinking about it, I realized that the best thing to do was to take it slow. If you wanna check whether your story is simple enough, well, just copy the text that you've written on your story and put it into a free readability tool.
40:16I'll actually include the link to my favorite readability tool in the description below. Now that software or that tool will tell you exactly what grade level your story is. What I suggest, aim for a grade level that can be understood by fifth grader, maybe sixth grader, or maybe seventh grader, but not much more than that.
40:34Keep it simple. And remember, simplicity, it's not about dumping down your story.
40:39It's about making sure that your message is clear and accessible to really everyone. Lesson number 16, uncover forgotten stories.
40:49When I first began my storytelling journey, I sat down and I tried to count how many stories I had. After two hours, I came up with six stories for my entire life. And I was proud.
41:01I thought, wow, Philip, well done. You're such a wonderful storyteller. Now I realized that that number could be much higher.
41:09If you're around, let's say, 20 years old, you probably have hundreds of stories. If you're in your thirties or forties, you will have thousands of stories that you could potentially use. And no, you don't need to have the craziest life for that.
41:22The reason you might not see these stories yet is either because you've forgotten about them or your memory doesn't save them as a story. We're about to change that. Think of yourself as as an archaeologist.
41:35But instead of digging out these dinosaur bones, we're digging here for past memories that could be turned into a story. The most effective way to uncover your hidden memories from the past is through a practice called stream of consciousness journaling.
41:51Now how does it work? First, choose a prompt.
41:54Start by picking a prompt to help you spark your ideas and get your thoughts flowing. Prompts can be based on locations, themes like travel, sports, relationships, or specific experiences.
42:07Now some examples could be the courageous leap. For example, these can be these moments when you faced a major challenge and you overcame it.
42:16Or the special encounter. These could be these brief encounters that you had with a stranger or an acquaintance, but that really left an impact on you. Or nature symphony, in which you reflect on a very memorable experience you had in nature, whether that was a challenging hike or a romantic day at the beach.
42:35You know what? I'll actually include my top 10 prompts in the description below so that you can get started straight away. But for now, I would say just pick one of them.
42:44Second, set a timer. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, start with a short time frame.
42:50Set your timer for maybe like five minutes. That's about it. You can then adjust that frame the more comfortable you feel with that exercise.
42:57Third, start writing. Once you've set the timer, begin writing down any memories that come to your mind, anything related to that prompt. Now the key here is to just keep writing.
43:08Don't stop. Don't edit. Don't second guess.
43:11Just keep writing. Let your thoughts flow freely even if they seem random, stupid, or all over the place.
43:18Stream of consciousness journaling is not about quality but about quantity. Don't worry if your ideas are all over the place or if you think that this is silly.
43:28Just keep going. Four, identify potential stories.
43:33And when the timer is up, you then look to a sheet and you think, is there any memory or any story that stands out? Anything that is particularly interesting, entertaining, or maybe emotional?
43:46Well, that could be then the seed for your next story. By practicing stream of consciousness journaling just a few times, you'll uncover more and more of those meaningful moments from your past. These could then become the stories that you tell in casual conversations, at work, or even on stage.
44:04Trust me. You've got way more stories than you think. You just need to start digging.
44:10Alright. On to the next lesson, which is, I think, already quite advanced lesson. Lesson number 17, avoid generic language.
44:19Now, ever noticed how some stories just come alive while others just fall flat? Now, one secret to making your storytelling more vivid, more engaging, is to use specific descriptive words instead of those generic ones.
44:35Now imagine two scenarios. Scenario one, I was driving in my car down the highway. Now what does it really tell us?
44:42Not much. Right? You know that I drive a car and that I use the highway.
44:48That's it. But you don't get a sense of who I am as a person. Right?
44:53Scenario two. I was driving 120 miles per hour down the German Autobahn in my ten year old Toyota Prius.
45:01Now this tells you so much more. It gives you some indications that maybe I'm a risk taker. Right?
45:08Driving so fast on the Autobahn shows you that I like the thrill or the adventure. Or maybe also that I'm a little bit cheap. Right?
45:15Driving this old Toyota Prius might indicate that maybe I don't have a lot of money or maybe I choose practicality over luxury. So it shows you much more about me as a character.
45:28So how can you make your details pop? First, replace generic words. Generic.
45:34I was at a party. I was at this Halloween party surrounded by superheroes and with this DJ blasting eighties hits.
45:45Second. Add unique details to the character. Generic.
45:50She was really smart. Specific. She was the kind of person who could solve the Rubik's cube in just under a minute and really explain quantum physics over coffee.
46:01Third. Use metaphors. Generic.
46:04He was strong. Specific, that guy was strong as a bull, lifting those weights as if they were feathers.
46:12But when you replace that generic text through more specific details, make sure that your sentences are not much longer, that you actually use it strategically. Because if everything is just details, details, details, it can be overwhelming as well.
46:27But, yeah, if you just sprinkle a few of those details into your story, it will transform that story. So most of the lessons, we focus on techniques to pretty much enhance your story, but there are a few lessons that will help you feel also excited to deliver those stories, to really tell these stories.
46:45Lesson 18, memorize SME.
46:49When you're telling a story, the last thing you want is to sound like this robot resigning lines by lines by from memory.
46:56Now, a story that is too rehearsed can often come off as too stiff and unnatural. But I guess at the same time, you also don't wanna stumble through your story searching for the words, ah, what I wanna say here, getting lost. That's also not good.
47:11Right? So how do you find the balance? Instead of memorizing your entire story word for word, focus on memorizing SME.
47:18For those of you in business, no, we're not talking about small and medium sized enterprises here, SME. We're talking about start, scenes, and end.
47:28First, memorize your start. Think of the best speeches or stories that you've ever heard. They start with that bang.
47:36Whether it's an action, it's that question, or that cliffhanger, they start with a bang. The start of your story is like that spotlight that grabs everyone's attention.
47:46It sets the tone, piques curiosity, and gives your listeners a reason to keep paying attention.
47:53Now as it's so crucial, I'd suggest to memorize the first few sentences in your story by heart. By knowing those opening lines really inside out, you can then launch into your story with full confidence. Second, memorize moments.
48:10Now that we've got the opening down, let's now talk about the middle, the the heart of your story. This is where memorizing every single word is not really necessary.
48:20Instead, what you wanna do is memorize the key moments or scenes of your story. Think of the moments like the main building blocks.
48:28Those are the places where the action takes place, maybe the decisions that are made, or the emotions that were felt. Each moment is like a snapshot, a clear mental image of that place or that moment where something important takes place.
48:43For example, um, one moment could be that you're in front of your manager's door and you're knocking at the door. Another moment could be you're in the office and your manager telling you about this unexpected project. Manager Then third moment could be you in the elevator crying.
48:58By memorizing or visualizing those scenes, you'll naturally remember what happens in each part of the story. Three, memorize your end. I know, people usually don't really like to think about the end of their story.
49:12They spend their entire time on the opening or the body. That's it. That's a missed opportunity.
49:18The end will be this last impression that people have of your story. This is where you drive home your takeaway. This is where you give your audience something to to reflect upon.
49:28That's why I'd suggest to memorize the end or closing of your story really also hard by heart because that's what people will remember. So use SME. So start, moments, and end to memorize your story.
49:43That way, it will feel alive, natural, and real.
49:47Alright. The next lesson, that one is a crazy crazy hack I wish I had discovered much earlier.
49:55Lesson number 19, rehearse with a tutor. Practicing your stories a couple of times, two to three times, is usually enough to get comfortable.
50:05But once you feel comfortable, it's then important to share that story also with someone else to get feedback. At first, I asked my friends and family if they could listen to my stories. This worked well for sometimes, but after asking my best friend for, like, I think the seventh time, I started to feel a little bit awkward.
50:24I felt like he'd probably do something else than listen to my stories every single week. So I started looking for a storytelling coach, but that's really when I hit the wall. Good storytelling coaches, they're expensive, like, really expensive.
50:40A decent one costs at least $200 an hour, and excellent ones can charge thousands. But that's when I discovered something that completely transformed my storytelling journey.
50:52I hired an English language tutor. But hold on in there. There's a twist.
50:57I didn't use that tutor for English lessons. I used them to practice storytelling. There are these language platforms like Preply or Italki where you can find private English tutors for as little as $3 an hour.
51:11In these one hour sessions, I then share two to three stories with that tutor and I ask them for feedback. Now, it doesn't really matter that they're not professional storytelling coaches. It doesn't matter.
51:22They can still tell me how they like the story, whether they got bored somewhere, and how the story made them feel. After then sharing a few stories, I use that remaining time to improvise a few stories on the spot.
51:35Now this is really a crazy hack that has helped me make the biggest leap as a storyteller. Alright. Are you ready for the last lesson of this video?
51:45Can I get a drum roll, please?
51:50Last lesson, commit to a big goal.
51:54I owe much of my success to a simple mantra. Commit now, figure it out later. Let me share how I discovered this approach.
52:01In November 2021, I had this crazy idea.
52:06I wanted to try out to do stand up comedy. Back then, I'd never read a book on comedy or had never taken any course, but I didn't let that stop me. I searched for open mic nights here in Amsterdam, found one, and signed up to be a comedian.
52:19Just to be clear, I knew nothing about comedy, but I thought, I'll I'll figure it out. Fast forward three weeks, I'm standing in front of 180 people delivering my first ever stand up comedy routine.
52:34It was hands down the most difficult moment, most terrifying moment of my entire life. My legs were just shaking uncontrollably the entire time.
52:44Now, I wish I could say that. I absolutely crushed it, but, you know, that just wouldn't be true.
52:50I wasn't terrible, but I definitely wasn't amazing either. But, actually, that didn't matter. What really mattered is how much I learned.
52:58Those three weeks of preparation taught me more about comedy than in a year of passive learning. The key is this, the biggest growth happens when you go after something that seems far beyond your current abilities. Now what I did in comedy, you can do with storytelling.
53:16Now most major cities today have storytelling open mic nights. In The US, The Moth and Risk are two of the most well known storytelling open mic nights. Go to their website, submit an application to tell a story, and then figure out the rest later.
53:32Or I guess if there aren't any storytelling nights in your city, well, ask your manager or your boss if you can share a story in your next team meeting. Or if that is not an option, ask a friend or a family member if you can tell a story at the next celebration. Yes.
53:48It will feel terrifying. And, yes, you might not be ready. But the minute you commit to that date, you'll do whatever it takes to nail the story and to mostly avoid that embarrassing situation.
54:02And even if you messed up, well, that by itself would be a wonderful learning and also a great story that you can tell in the future. That's it. Those are my 20 lessons from five years of storytelling.
54:14Actually, let me know in the comments which lesson was your favorite. Today, we went deep into storytelling.
54:21But when you speak in front of friends, when you give a presentation, or oftentimes when you record a video, there are also a few other public speaking techniques that you need to master. And for that, you may wanna check out this next video, in which I'll give you some of my favorite public speaking techniques. Enjoy.
The Hook
The bait, then the rug-pull.
Seven years of coaching Google, MetLife, and Visa — compressed into 20 lessons and fifty-four minutes. The video opens on a credibility stack, pivots to a promise within thirty seconds, and then delivers every lesson with a named structure, worked examples, and a personal story that models the technique being taught.
Named ideas worth stealing.
04:16acronym
CART Story Structure
- Context
- Adversity
- Resolution
- Takeaway
A four-step framework for 1-2 minute oral stories in casual or professional settings.
Steal forAny case study, client story, or personal anecdote used in sales, presentations, or social content
09:39list
Show, Don’t Tell — 3 Techniques
- Dialogue (exact words)
- Action (physical behavior)
- Metaphor/analogy (sensory comparison)
Three ways to convey emotion without labeling it directly.
Steal forVideo scripts, emails, case studies
12:25list
Story Bank — 5-Field System
- Title
- Point (core message)
- Summary (bullet notes)
- Use Case (when to deploy)
- Rating
A personal story library that makes the right story retrievable on demand.
Steal forContent creators, speakers, salespeople
15:21concept
Homework for Life
Daily end-of-day exercise from Matthew Dix: ask if I had to tell one story from today, what would it be? Record date plus one-line moment.
Steal forAnyone who says their life is not interesting enough to have good stories
46:45acronym
SME Memorization
- Start (word-for-word)
- Moments (scene snapshots)
- End (word-for-word)
A rehearsal approach that avoids the robotic over-rehearsed sound while preventing mid-story word-searching.
Steal forAny prepared story, pitch, or presentation
32:52list
Raise the Stakes — 3 Methods
- Share emotional goals
- Show impact on others
- Introduce time pressure
Three techniques for increasing audience investment in the outcome.
Steal forSales stories, case studies, pitches where the stakes feel abstract
How they asked for the click.
VERBAL ASK
54:14next-video
“You may wanna check out this next video, in which I’ll give you some of my favorite public speaking techniques.”
Soft recommendation to a related video. Comment engagement requested: let me know which lesson was your favorite.
MENTIONED ON CAMERA
FROM THE DESCRIPTION
Visual structure at a glance.
